Monday 28 December 2009

Overcompensating

Today I finally gave in and bought the biggest flat screen T.V. I could possibly fit in my living room.

That's 37 inches of totally unneccessary yet awesome screen space. Seriously, this thing is FUCKING HUGE. It's like having the view screen of the Enterprise in front of your sofa.

Then, just to top things off I went and bought the a shotgun for the Wii.

That's right. A SHOTGUN.

I officially no longer have a penis.

What I do have however is possibly the ultimate setup for playing House Of The Dead: Overkill. Strangely enough it seemed slightly more difficult playing it on the monstrosity for the first time, I guess because everythings further apart, or maybe I was still getting used to the new gun. Either way it's irrelevant since harder or not it is even more FUN to play than it already was. Seriously, you have to appreciate that the shotgun has a pump action mechanism for the A button, which you can use to reload. This is the nearest your ever going to get to the full arcade experience.

Whilst I am now obviously rather skint I have to say I'm also rather pleased. All the games I've tried so far look great on this thing. I simply can't wait to watch Great Decisive Battle! The Superior 8 Ultra Brothers.

Sadly I'll have to wait till tomorrow for that particular pleasure, as I got a little distracted playing Dead Rising. Which is only fair. After spending the afternoon wading through mall zombies it is nice to come home and actually start shooting them in the head.

Sunday 27 December 2009

The Silent Art Of Waiting

the icy fingers scratch and claw
thence form fists to beat the door
clamour within and dread without
though locks yet shake the door is stout
and not one grim, forsaken face
shall be seen in light outside that place
the secrets of this snow bound tomb
are kept forever in the gloom

Saturday 19 December 2009

The Year In Review - Awesome Stuff Awards 2009

It's the end of the year. Just in case you hadn't noticed. So I figured I'd have a look back over my records and see what I'd been doing all this time, and pick out a few highlights. Obviously this is just based on thing I personally have experienced this year, and not all enteries are neccessarily new releases or anything. Just things that, for me, have stood out as being rather good.

So, without further ado, let's get on with it.

Music

This is a rather tough one for me, as music is one thing I seem to get a lot of. This is based on CD's I've bought, and doesn't include any of this new fangled downloading all the kids are talking about these days. I would also like to point out that these are not in any particular order either. It was hard enough picking just 10 (and even then I had to cheat). Actually putting them in order would probably break my mind.



Marlee - Virtual Sex
One that I do seem to keep coming back to. Sexy Gothic Industrial Rock of a Japanese flavour. Great Stuff.




Suicide Ali - Daiyon No Waltz
Finally, A full album release from this band. Great arrangements of some old songs, and great new tracks as well. Bonus points for actually being available, since a lot of their stuff has been limited edition singles up to this point.



Custom Mummy - Q Type
A CD-R retrospective of this incredibly interesting industrial outfit. A fantastic diversity of content really shows off the breadthe of style they put out.



GPKISM - Barathrum / Iucidium
Yeah, I know it's technically 2 releases, but they are conceptually linked, so screw you. Both feature great A & B sides, and also feature a large amount of good remixes. A good remix is hard to find, so the fact that in both cases they remain interesting to hear throughout is really notable.



An Cafe - Harajuku Dance Rock
Happy and bouncy J-Rock, but with a suprising feeling of being a little more... grown up than their previous efforts.


Seileen - Kinjareta Asobi
A suprising fusion of industrial music and operatic vocal from Japan. Works fantastically well.



Code - Resplendant Grotesque
Rich and gothic black metal with a curious air of victorian sensibility, at least to my ear. A long awaited return by one of the few genuinely interesting bands left.



Crushing doom/noise/industrial fusion. Heavy guitars and analogue electronica collide in spectacular fashion. The Doctor Who reference doesn't hurt either.



T3chn0phob1a - Grave New World
A slightly dancefloor style mash-up of black metal and industrial styles. Despite covering U2 they produce an impressive album.


Not so much music as a bizzare audio drama stream of conciousness nightmarish soniscape. About as far from commercial as you ccan get, heavy, densely layered and oppresively atmospheric. Put in your headphones and turn it up.


Film & TV

A tricky selection to make. There is so very little released in cinemas or on TV that interests me these days. Almost everything I watch is on DVD. But I suppose you could consider this year fairly succesful since I went to the cinema 4 or 5 times. However, when you consider how many films are actually released each year, that really doesn't say much does it?

Anyway....



An awesome film, I was suprisingly enraptured. Well put together, although part of a series it holds up on it's own perfectly well. Which since the showing of part 2 seemed to get cancelled is just as well. Better wait for the boxset I suppose.



I've only watched a few new anime series this year, and this one narrowly nudges out Strike Witches purely because I can watch it without getting arrested. A hilarious parody, with some pretty good music thrown in as well. The movie version is high up my watch list.



Doctor Who Series 4 Boxset
Possibly the strongest series of nu-who since it returned, with consistantly good stories throughout. I mean, yeah, there's more than a touch of fanwank at the end, but who's counting? A solid block of entertainment all laid out on DVD for your repeated enjoyment.



Oh god it's hard to pick a single Ultraman release, considering how exponentially my collection has increased this year. But this film has to win out for it's sheer unabashed celebration of the entire franchise. Getting that many characters together in a coherent story is surely no mean feat, and this film accomplishes it brilliantly.

Reading


I do love a good book, though strangely I never seem to spend as much time actually reading them as I'd like to. But I do manage at least a bit, and it's not ALL manga.

Just mostly.



Yes, I'm a massive poser who bought the graphic novel after seeing the hype for the film. Sue me, I can't read everything when it comes out. Since this is so classic there's not really anything I need to say about it. You either already know or you SHOULD already know.



A brilliant cyberpunk/noir crime/detective/crime story with hints of a massive space opera sci-fi background. I'm just gonna call it cyberpunk though. Thouroughly grounded in it's depiction of a future where people can be saved to disk, it's an interesting piece on identity and the effects of technology, but also a gripping read with a good story and interesting characters.



A little unusual in that I had to download it and print it out, nevertheless this is a wonderful piece of writing. Evoking steampunk Lovecraftian fantasy without really being any of those thing. It's tricky to describe without giving to much away, but if you like any of those 3 genres you really ought to check it out.



I love this manga. It's like an antidote the ongoing trend of wet, mopey vampire bullshit. This book has balls. Full on, and replete with interesting ideas. Brilliant stuff.



The odd but rather enchanting story of a group of otaku and the sort of stuff they get up to. Which as I read it back is pretty shit summary of this series, but there you go. A story about otaku, written by otaku, for otaku. With all the charm,heart and humor that degree of concentrated nerdiness produces.



This is a great book, but perhaps not one that many people will get to read, which I think is a shame. 4-koma style it tells it's tale with great style and effect, and is certainly one of the more unique books I've encountered. The only thing is that there only seems to be 2 volumes of it.

Gaming

This year hasn't been the greatest for games I admit. I mean, 4th ed D&D? Seriously. Hecatomb and Dreamblade are dead, and there really hasn't been much to fill to the void. However in terms of video gaming it hasn't been all bad. I bought a wii. Not exactly hardcore some might scoff, but then I wanted some games that were just FUN to play. And it hasn't dissapointed so far. Though I've bought a few games one does stand above the rest in terms of entertainment, replayability and not having to flail around like a complete spacko....



Put simply, this game is pure entertainment to play. There is literally no time when blasting zombies is not fun. There's a wide variety of stuff to unlock, a whole bunch of guns to buy and a profanity laden "plot" riffing on the tropes of cheap grindhouse cinema. Pure joy.

Friday 18 December 2009

We Can Name Him Beowulf

Oh my god you guys, it totally snowed last night!!

Now, I normally hate snow with seething distaste, but this morning I have been jumping around in it like a 5 year old whilst on my way to work, whilst quietly singing the snowman song from cannibal the musical.

What is the cause of this inexplicable joie de vivre?

Could it be the childish glee of glomping through 6 inch drifts of untouched snow, the first living creature to profane it's cold tranquility?

Or maybe it's more to do with the fact that in all likelyhood no one else will be in today so I'll get to go home early?

I have the strange urge to go out with my Ultraman toys and take pictures of them in the snow, but there are two minor drawbacks to this plan. Firstly to actually get at any snow worth photographing you've basically gotta destroy it first, and secondly I haven't got a Glozam figure.

Yet.

Still, the garden looks awesome as it's basically completely buried.

P.S. I just looked around towards where my legs are positioned close to the heaters, and there are copious amounts of steam coming from them. Maybe sitting a little too close?

Wednesday 16 December 2009

Omni directional cross temporal disphase collision protocols have been activated

By which I simply mean to say I've started importing posts from the old blog over here.

If by "importing" you in fact mean "tediously copying and pasting each and every goddamn entry", but I digress.

Partly it is of course a cheap way of bumping the post count and thus making me look more interesting. Mainly it's so I've got everything in one place, but also it's interesting to see the sort of thing I've been writing, and possibly revist some old stuff.

Quite how far back I go is only limited by my patience really, so I have no idea if I'll bother going beyond the start of this year or not. But it's not like I was exactly prolific before, so who knows?

I have noticed a definate habit of saying time will tell at the end of these posts. Annoying perhaps, but now maybe I'll get around to finding out.

Tuesday 15 December 2009

Testing, now with pictures

So let's see how this works with a picture, shall we?


An old picture of my own devising. Took a while as I recall, and I think I was fairly pleased with the result. Looks okay anyway.

And you can't deny that this would rule on an unprecedented scale.

Testing

Well then, we have signed up for this shiny new grown up blog type thing have we?

Better write something to try it out, hadn't you?

So, why are we here? Simple. I used to post the occasional musing on my myspazz blog, which was okay I guess. But I really wanted to try doing something more. Something regular. Partly of course to see if I could, partly to help express and organize my thoughts and improve my writing, display pictures and just generally do my own thing.

I am under no illusions that anyone will ever read this of course, but I did get some encouragement from S-san to do this, and she seems to enjoy the sort of crap I write, so we'll just see how it goes shall we?

So then, a selection of reviews, musings, art and comics of my own construction. So all fairly sub standard and of limited appeal, but what can you do? It's not like anyones forcing you to read this shit is it?

Honestly, get over yourself.

To start with I may pull a few gems out of the archive whilst I'm getting the hang of this. The added advantage of not having to create anything new in order to fill out the content is not to be underestimated.

But I'm gonna shoot for at least one post a week. See how long that lasts eh?

I can practically hear you taking bets.

Sunday 13 December 2009

[old blog import] Long Time Gone

So, according to the wii I managed to spend over 10 hours playing games yesterday.

TEN HOURS.

It's been a while since I've done that.

(This does make me think it would be nice to have access to some sort of detailed summary information. Total time played, longest session, most frequently played, that sort of thing.)

Whilst I'm still playing Darklord (nearly finished though) Yesterday was dedicated (in it's entirety apparently) to 2 new games. Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn and Secret Files: Tunguska.

(I've just noticed that there appear to be an alarming number of colons in my games all of a sudden. I wouldn't mind, but it's not like I'm playing THAT sort of game. Which would be AWESOME on the wii.)

So anyway, some thoughts.

Fire Emlbem is a tactical RPG, though it does seem to be a bit more tactical than RPG. Not really anything in the way of exploration, no random encounters or anything like that. The plot advances from scenario to scenario in a rather linear fashion. I suppose there's not really anything wrong with this per se, but it does make think how much MORE fun it would be if you had multiple objectives to choose from, or could deploy the various characters you accumulate over a world map. Something a little more interactive feeling.

I don't really want to come of as overly negative, because the gameplay is actually fun, assuming you like a bit of strategy. Which I do. There is a bit of depth to the gameplay, so you do get some objectives other than "Wipe them out. ALL of them" ... All though a lot of the time thats what your gonna be doing. Because it's fun.

My only real concern so far has been the balance between individual characters, as some seem to be terminally useless compared to others. However this may well be more to do with how I'm using them, so further testing is in order. Which will be tricky as I've completed part 1, and the game has pulled some weird trick and I'm now controlling a different set of characters in a different country. Which is interesting, and possibly awesome, but I don't really know yet.

The plot does make it plain that this is a sequel, which I'm sure is great for those who played the preceding game and know who all these people are supposed to be, but isn't exactly involving for those of us who didn't. It's not a barrier neccesarily, but it does get a little annoying.

Overall I'm looking forward to playing more.

Next up: Tunguska!

Here we have a game in the old school point and click mode, something that the wii can achieve very well. This also means the application of old school point and click logic, which can be obtuse and confusing to say the least. But then that is kind of the point. Wouldn't be much of a puzzle game if it was easy.

Still, I had to duct tape my phone to a cat. That's really not the sort of thing you see everyday.

It's all fun however. I haven't played anything like this in years, and just being able to take your time and work things out has a certain satisfaction. Thus far I haven't had to resort to any hints, so as frustrating as some puzzles can be at least I get a sense of achievement for working them out.

Plot wise... Well theres a MYSTERY!! I'm just not far enough in to know what it is yet. Daddy's dissapeared so I'm infiltrating the russian military through the sewers. Or something. The last section was disturbingly scatalogical in content.

It's worth noting the voice acting, which in the long and distinguished history of video games is pretty awful. I think the game is originally german, but the english language dub gives the heroine a rather jarring valley girl type accent. This has the rather disconcerting effect of making her various exhortations to herself to think less the inner monologue of a capable and intelligent female protoganist and more maths is hard barbie.

But again, A fun game to play, and one I'm looking forward to playing more of. I do get the feeling that the replay value for this one isn't going to be massively high, since the plot and characters haven't exactly gripped me. It's doing the puzzles where the fun comes in, and once you know how to do them there's not much point, is there?

Anyway, we'll see how things go I guess.

Friday 11 December 2009

[old blog import] This is your brain... wait, no it isn't.

As an example of just what I have to put up with with my so called mind, I'd like to describe to you what I can remember of my dream last night.

They hollowed out my head. Top of, brain out, the full works. This did not however seem to have any negative effect on me in any particular way.

Then, a Cat/Wampa sat in it.

That is a cat, who was somehow part Hoth Wampa. I think it had horns or something.

And it curled up in my empty skull and did cute cat like things. I remember getting into some difficulty when it was lazily flopping over the side, as it made it hard to get up without it falling out.

So, what exactly is that supposed to mean sigmund?

Tuesday 8 December 2009

[old blog import] Fear Only One

You know, you have to feel sorry for the Daleks really. Whilst the new series has done much to restore to them a sense of threat and menance, it has also saddled them with one of the worst cases of the Inverse Ninja Principle ever seen.

Having just completed rewatching series 4 I feel for some reason compelled to comment on this. So here I go:

Series 1 - Dalek. The episode that is. Here is possibly the greatest Dalek episode ever. This story, more than any other establishes the Daleks as full on unstoppable killing machines. Literally NOTHING can stop the Dalek and the only reason it is defeated in the nend is because it commits suicide rather than mutate into the Dalek version of Rose Tyler, a sentiment that I think we can all agree on.

When next we see the Daleks in the series finale howewver there's a whole fleet of them, which are then dispatched in fairly short order by a slightly dodgy deus ex machina. Which is to say nothing of the fact that the Doctor had built a superweapon to destroy them all in about twenty minutes. Whilst they do give a pretty good account of themselves in the assault, ultimately they are doomed to ignominious defeat.

Then we move on to Series 2. The Cult Of Skaro turn up and do pretty well for themselves, shrugging off assaults by Torchwood and Cybermen alike without a scratch. Then they open the ark and suddenly there's millions of them. Which are promptly flushed down the metaphorical plughole with depressing ease. It was all going so well until the army showed up.

Not learning from this mistake we then arrive at the slightly iffy Evolution Of The Daleks, where again it all goes fine till the army shows up, whereupon they wiped out in about 5 minutes. Seriously, 3 quarters of the ENTIRE DALEK RACE bite it just like that.

Also, just for the record, DNA DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!

Then we move on again to the series 4 finale. Things are going well again, but sadly theres just to many of them to survive. That many Daleks simply have no chance against a single named character. It's worth noting that one lone Dalek on patrol nearly kills the Doctor outright, but put him in a room full of Daleks and it's like the thought never even crosses their mind.

So here we have a fully fleged Dalek Empire, at the hight of it's power, typed to death by Donna's l33t haxorz sk1lzz. Just like that, bam, threats over, time to go home.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with all this, except that I can only hope their won't be many Daleks in the next series. One Dalek, on it's own is a threat, Capable of slaughtering millions. A thousand Daleks are a minor inconvenience, solved with the press of a button.

Whilst the spectacle is all very nice, in order for the antagonists to be presented as a credible threat they have to be presented on a managable scale.

Show, don't tell.

Monday 30 November 2009

[old blog import] My Life As A ScamLord

So, pottering around with the Wii at the weekend (and refusing outright to make that particular pun), I find that the shop channel as at long last started to catch up with the modern age and has some FREE DEMO'S!!!

Let the joy bells ring.

Anyway, the lack of any demo content has always been a little puzzling to me, so it's nice to see them taking even a tentative step in the right direction. There's only a handful of demo's on offer, but at least there's a couple I actually want to try. So I download the demos for World Of Goo and Final Fantasy My Life As A Darklord.

Now, My Life As A Darklord in particular has interested me for a very long time, so actually getting an opportunity to try it out is awesome. And it's a fun game. In fact I enjoy playing it so much I decide to actually buy it.

Now, here I must pause in my narrative to address the one niggling issue I have with the demo service (aside of course from the fact that you can't set it to download in the background and do something else). Simply the fact that, once you complete a demo you taken immediately into the shop, rather than just exiting back to the main screen. I find this to be rather obnoxious. If I want to buy the damn game then I'll do it in my own time, thanks.

Anyway, so despite having the shop pushed in my face I pay's my money and I takes my choice. 1000 points, or £7.00 in earth monies. After all, seven quid for a fun little game is a pretty good deal, right?

Well, yes. I think so. The game is fun, and I'm happy with my purchase.

But then you see this additional content menu. And this is where things start to get a bit dodgy. There's all this extra content you can buy for the game. New costumes, new monsters, items, that kind of thing.  Mostly it looks like you can just buy yourself some extra stuff to make things a bit easier. And, since I have some random left over points I do that myself.

Then, I decide to have a look at what all this stuff actually costs in real money. I mean, I'm liking this game, so obviously I'd like to experience as much of the available content as possible. So I go through and add it up.

Now, it is worth bearing in mind that none of this is REQUIRED to play the game. It would just be nice to have. But the full total for the additional content for a £7 game comes to...

£39.90

Which somehow strikes me as pretty shocking. If you want the whole shebang it'll end up costing you more than buying a big new release. Indeed, just getting the extra's that interest me (which is extra levels, monsters and artifacts) will cost about another £20.

This is undoubtedly the sort of thing it would be easy to spend to much money on, particularly with the actual values obfuscated by this whole points nonsense.

Exactly how I feel about all this is still a little undecided, as I am only partway through the game. Exactly how much unlockable content exists in game without paying and the games final length will impact quite severely. After all, it just feels like a set up to get you to buy more then I'll be quite dissapointed. On the other hand if it manages to stand alone satisfactorly then the additional content will be more like the icing on the cake.

Only time will tell.

Thursday 12 November 2009

[old blog import] Should Have Worn A Hat Really

A somewhat inauspicous day in general really.

Just before I'm set to leave work there's last minute problems, my lift down to the station forgets completely, the trains are delayed anyway, and above all else, PISSING BLOODY RAIN.

I pity the fool who decided to be at the front of the Queue for Abingdon Boys School. Must have been like a race between Hypothermia and Drowning. I mean, I was pretty far around from the front, and I'm only just about dried out now.

Anyway, a remarkably civilised affair. There was a queue for the merchandise stand. A nice, polite queue. No, fighting your way through a heaving mass of flesh to see how much the CDs are. No standing there for hours desperatly trying to catch the merch minions attention. Just get in line, make your purchase and leave.

BLISS.

Moving on, I must say I've never seen that many Japanese women at a concert before. And I do mean women. As in possibly as old as me. Scary. Though looking at the boys in the band I guess I can see the attraction. The singer, in his glasses and uniform? I'd give him a good solid "mothering". IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Seriously though, I am going so gay for Japanese men lately it's not funny. Are there ANY ugly people in Japan?

So, desperatly trying to stay on topic, the place is pretty damn packed. Not quite sure if it's sold out, but it must be close. Judging by the bands set up they really ought to be playing somewhere bigger, what with all the equipment and roadies and such. For the moment I'm glad they're not, as it's nice seeing a band up close. But I'm pretty sure next time they should be. We'll see.

I wasn't really familiar with them before tonight, only really knowing the one song, but then that's as good a reason as any to come. To get the full experience. They play really well, very energetically, and seem really pleased to be here, which is nice. Though I'm starting to see a pattern of basically every single band I've seen this year asking me if I'm having fun. SEVERAL TIMES. Frankly it's just getting creepy.

But yeah, a good fun gig. Most enjoyable, and it gave me a chance to finally pick up one of their CD's. Which is handy as I'd been contemplating getting some singles on ebay. And of course, despite all the delays and such I'm back early, which considering the amount of work I have waiting for me is a very good thing.

Sleep now, for torment awaits.

Wednesday 7 October 2009

[old blog import] Apparently far less ready to rock than I thought

I am so completely fucked right now.

I'm really starting to wonder if I'm not getting to old for this sort of thing.

But anyway, Miyavi was quite fun, even though it has apparently destroyed my body. Quite a fun time in the queue. Starting to get a bit wier really as there's all these people who recognize me and say hi. And I recognize them to, but I haven't a clue what any of their names are. I guess I'm a regular now. Got my picture taken by some guy doing fashion questionaires, as well as one of the regular crowd who I always seem to see at these sort of things, which nice, as was being told that I looked "epic".

I've never been called epic before. Hard to know how to react really.

Managed to meet up with P-Chan and her friends, which was also nice. Was kind of strange standing in the queue surrounded by cute teenage girls in lolita whislt next to us there's some guy talking about the difficulties of proving you thought she was 18. There's probably some kind of message in there, but let's just skip ahead shall we? Certainly none of that going on.

So anyway, the concert itself. I wasn't hugely familiar with Miyavi before I went, having only really listened to one album (and that was a best of, I'm such a poser). But the man certainly can put on a good show. I'm sure I've mentioned somewhere before that there exists a certain kind of looking totally gay that totally drives girls wild. This is most noticable in J-Rock bands for some reason. Miyavi turns this factor up to 11. Very pretty, very sexy.

You wouldn't say no is all I'm saying.

But yeah, musically quite interesting, a fairly impressive guitarist, though how he has any skin on his hands with the way he plays  is a bit of a mystery. Fantastic showman though. Very impressive was the way that he carries the whole thing through, as various members of the backing band retire for some portions, leaving him essentially alone to do his thing. Only negative I can really come up with is he does have a tendency to waffle on a bit, but he does speak pretty good english.

But yeah, afterwards I was feeling far more wrecked than I had any right to, lost pudding and co in the crowd but somehow managed to jump on the early train and get back before the taxi rates got silly expensive, which was a definate plus.

Now all I need to do is get through today and get back to bed.

Death by Miyavi. There are worse ways to go.

Friday 25 September 2009

[old blog import] Insert your own damn brittany spears joke

This evening we (by wg=hich I mean I) went to see HITT.

Why's that I hear you cy? Well, basically because he seemed like he'd pretty good and fun. Also Japanese. He might not be a 12 year old girl, but who's counting?

Things got off to a somewhat inauspicous start as the queue seemed woefully short. Then there was the fact that doors didn't open till at least half seven, which is bad even by underworld standards. But finally, we lucky few are herded through a noticibly different door to normal and down into the half closed underworld.

At this stage there isn't even a merch stand set up, so there isn't really anything to do except wait for another hour or so trying not listen to teenage girls talk about each others boobs. So yeah, that was fun.

All told I guess there was about twenty people there total. I may not be the only male there (there was ONE other, but I think he was escorting some clearly underage companion or other) but once more I'm definately the oldest. Oh I feel so happy, please start the damn show already.

And lo, in the begininnig was the word, and the word was HITT. On his own. One guy, a keyboard and a DAT machine. Not what I was expecting to be sure. But godamn does the boy put on a show. Whilst suffering from various technical difficulties, language barriers and a rather noticably not full venue he certainly gives it his all and plays a really great set. The informal and intimate atmosphere of a tiny sho like this is great, don't get me wrong, but I can't help but feel he deserves to be playing to bigger crowds in bigger venues. But then I'm sure he'll be getting all that on the continent. Britain does seem to rather lack in the J-Rock support department. Maybe if they could have got him opening for Miyavi or something? Be nice to have a support band at least once for this sort of thing, but I guess the logistics preclude it. He'd certainly go down well with that crowd I'd think.

But yeah, a great, fun and entertaining night of some pretty groovy music. I am most pleased, all thing considered. I guess the only real dissapointment was that they only had the one CD on sale at the end. But at least I got something.

Rock on.

Friday 4 September 2009

[old blog import] Prawnography

District 9. It is a good film.

I hadn't paid much attention to the hype for this film, though it did have a habit of cropping rather frequently in my various data streams. But it had at least caught my attention in some small way. So since I had time off and it was showing, I figured why not check it out?

Certainly not the worst decision I've ever made.

The film is very good, well acted and at least reasonably plotted. The effects are obviously very good, but serve the plot, which is a nice change from the usual mindless spectacle. Whilst the protagonists transformation is somewhat limited, it does progress throughout the course of the film and evokes Cronenbergs The Fly in places. Good stuff.

A very dark film certainly, and when there's violence it certainly doesn't shy away, with various chunks and fluids splattering over the camera as well as the bystanders. Not an action film by any means, but certainly a film with action in it.

It's shot in a very interesting way, using a documentary style to tell the story, often using TV or security camera footage, as well as more usual camerawork.

It's kind of interesting that there's been some desperate attempt at fuss over racism for this film, since the whole thing is a rather massive and obvious metaphor for apartheid, though personally I get more criticism of the horrific state of poverty in these sort of places. But I suppose the issues are all strongly interrelated.

It's interesting to note that the characters shown are largely an unlikeble bunch, but all solidly believable. Whilst it's easy to critique from this side of the screen, they do feel like a part of the world in which the drama takes place. Imperfect people in an imperfect world if you will.

An intelligent piece of mature themed science fiction, and well worth seeing in my humble opinion.

Thursday 27 August 2009

[old blog import] mary

mary had a little lamb
it's teeth as sharp as knives
it hunts about the moors and fens
taking many lives

mary had a little lamb
it's claws are long and sharp
to leap upon the screaming prey
and quickly pierce the heart

mary had a little lamb
its eyes are quick and keen
it sees the children where they hide
and comes before they scream

mary had a little lamb
a taste for human flesh
the babies bubble in the pot
for mary cooks them best

mary had a little man
to whip and pierce and beat
and when the fun and bleedings done
she chops him up for meat

why yes, I do have issues. why do you ask?

Friday 21 August 2009

[old blog import] It's like shitting africa.

So then, a review of the weeks culinary escapades

Saturday: Zebra steak with cracked black peppers, sea salt and pink pink peppercorns. Served with swwet potato wedges, onion rings and garlic mushrooms.

Monday: Ostrich is spicy chilli stir fry.

Tuesday: Camel and chips.

Wednesday: Crocodile cooked with soy sauce, sticky rice and miso.

Thursday: cajun style Kangaroo with sweet potato wedges.

Friday: Wildebeest, wedges, onion rings, garlic mushrooms.

All in all and interesting experiment. The various meats ranged from the rather fucking tasty to the fairly meh, but only the camel didn't really impress. The crocodile I admit could have come out better, but I couldn't just slap EVERYTHING in the grill with a bit of spice now could I? Kangaroo and Ostrich were rather good, as were the Zebra and Wildebeest. All in all I guess it does depend on your culinary skills, something I personally lack. But I didn't manage to make any of it inedible. Which, considering the prices, was something of a relief.

The question I suppose is would I do it again? The answer is probably yes. There are, after all, far more animals that I haven't eaten than I have, and it's good to try new things. It's not something I'd do often however, as whilst variety may be the spice of life it is also the scourge of the wallet. In all honesty you get do it with a decent bit of conventional meat, but where's the fun in that?

Part of the attraction for this kind of thing is simply being able to say you've done it. And I have.

Lucky fucking me, eh?

Tuesday 11 August 2009

[old blog import] Just think about it for a second.

I got some new piercing rings through the post today, as i'm intending on redoing some of my jewllery.

The packaging displays the somewhat baffling message "NOT intended for internal cavity use".

Never mind the practicality or hygine of such an arrangement. It's the logistics of the operation that are scaring me.

I mean, why would you? Seriously.

Saturday 8 August 2009

[old blog import] The Horror

I just cleaned my keyboard.

It's only a t times like that this that you come to truly appreciate what a disgusting pile of nauseating filth you actually are.

Seriously, eeew.

Thursday 30 July 2009

[old blog import] one flu over the cockoos nest

I just took a piss and it smelled like ham.

do i have the pig AIDS now?

oh noez.

Saturday 25 July 2009

[old blog import] Down In The Park

Well, that was fun.

Tonight was Gary Numan in concert, and I do have to say that a good time was had by all.

Support came in the form of Dirty Harry, who have some fairly decent rock and roll, and some very nice panties. But I digress.

Numan came on and blasted through the set fairly relentlessly, with only the occaisional quite "thnk you very much" spoken in between songs. All sorts of stuff was played, both old and new, and it all rocked pretty hard, complemented by a rather nifty (if somewhat dazzling) light show.

What was particularly great about this gig was the attitude of the man himself. Put simply, he appeared to be having a wonderful time, and thats great to see in an artist.

I could probably try and recall some particular highlights, but they played so many songs that I really like that it seems kind of pointless.

Fun times anyway. Which is good, since this was not an inexpensive gig to get tickets for. But worth it in the end I think.

Friday 19 June 2009

[old blog import] Oh Thursday, how I love thee. Let me count the ways...

Of all the multitudinous things in life that I truly hate (see also everything) Thursday is pretty high on the list. I have discussed at some length before many of the reasons why, so I won't go into them here.

So, imagine my suprise when some random quiz thing I was doing on facebook told me that something good would happen next thursday! I mean, we all know that I.P. based horroscopes are the most accurate right?

So anyway, thursday rolls around. Let's see all the good things that happened.

My internet died completely for the entire day

I felt slightly more awful than I usually do.

My D&D game was cancelled for the THIRD week in a row.

The replacement strike witches DVD that turned up proved to be just as fucked as the previous copy.

No tall dark strangers which is probably for the best, I'd rather have a short cute one anyday), no fortunes, no romance, nothing like that.  at all.

So yeah, thursday blows once again. Suprise.

Tuesday 16 June 2009

[old blog import] Are You Zappa'd?

So yeah, a little late but I did go to see Zappa Plays Zappa the other night. I normally write up on these events a little sooner, but I was properly fucked afterwards. Bad baguette or something, who knows?

But anyway!

Dweezil Zappa playing old Frank Zappa songs. Awesome event, or overhyped covers band? I guess that some could make the argument that this is just a way of cashing in on his dad's legacy. However I think I'll disagree with that, mainly on the basis that there are about a million easier ways of making a living than actually learning to play the guitar as well as Frank fucking Zappa.

And play he does. The guy has clearly got some talent going on, and plays the songs brilliantly, as does the band. The guy they had for vocals really did sound quite a bit like Frank Zappa, but also carried the parts sung by others just as well. Have to feel a bit sorry for the Female member though, who was doing vocals, keyboards, saxaphone, flute, clarinet and duck call all by herself.

They played quite a bit that I knew, and quite a bit that I didn't. Considering that the Frank Zappa discography is larger than most of Ultramans foes PUT TOGETHER this is hardly suprising. But it was cool, even though I do feel they maybe had one to many drum solos.

The most awesome bit was at the end, where Dweezil got some members of the audience up on stage. What made it was the fact that one of them was a 10 year old boy, and Dweezil gave him the guitar to play!! That just made that kids entire LIFE.

So yeah, despite essentially paying 3 times as much as normal to see a cover band, a good time was had by all.

Though it was kind of wierd being in a room with all those normal looking people.

Monday 1 June 2009

[old blog import] A Tactical Miscalculation

I've just realised I may have made a bit of mistake.

See, the thing is I've put a bid on a UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie Doujinshi.

Now, UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie is one of my all time favorite animes, and I love it to bits. So obviously I'm keen to get related merchandise and stuff. A doujin is going to be somewhat of a rarity and thus an interesting addition to my collection.

Only, you know, it's a DOUJIN. That means it's going to take this great show that I love and make porn out of it.

Horrible, HORRIBLE porn. With the raping and the fluids and omnipresent sanity wrenching tentacles.

Will I be able to look at the show again in the same way? Will I be able to divorce the characters I like from the haunting images of inappropriate things jammed up their butts?

Will I get busted for imported child porn? I mean, even at the best of times they seem to be declaring manga illegal. Let alone anything to do with a show where the main character changes age on a regular basis.

I've absolutely no idea whats actually in the book, so I can't really say. It's just that I've been to Japan. I've seen inside Doujiin stores.

I get the feeling that whatever happens, I'm going to get more than I bargined for.

Wednesday 20 May 2009

[old blog import] TERROR

Last night I had possibly the scariest dream of my entire life.

I was being stalked. By The Riddler. As played by Jim Carey in Batman Forever.

He bugged my laptop.

Do you have any idea what that FEELS LIKE?!?!?

Sunday 17 May 2009

[old blog import] Hooked On Monkies

So, a rather different sort of gig tonight. The BBC Radiophonic Workshop, or at least whats left of it, performing various compositions from across the history of that venerable institution.

It was, as the saying goes, well good.

Started out with a Q&A session, which was pretty cool. Got to hear some fun old stories and learn a few things. Nice job, very interesting. And didn't cost anything. Bonus.

Then on to the gig proper. The Roundhouse, as it turns out, is rather large. This means they have all sorts of projectors and funky lighting. It also means they have seats. Yay.

There is a support act. Kind of. Basically a lady and a gentlemen stood behind some computers doing... something. I don't really know what, but they made some awesome doomy noise, so rock on.

Then the main performance. Many people would scoff at going to see 5 old men play the theme to Newsround on ancient synthesiers. Fuck those guys, they don't know what they're talking about. Whilst I personally knew very little of what was being played, that didn't make it any less cool. And let's be honest. If you watched TV at all at any point in the 20th century, chances are you've heard something one of these guys wrote.

Unless you've never watched Doctor Who, in which case what the hell have you been doing with your life since 1963?

So yeah, they played the Doctor Who theme, pulling out a rather funky version for the last song. It ruled and I went home happy.

Culture is awesome. Try it, you might like it.

Saturday 16 May 2009

[old blog import] Pit Defence

Girugamesh. Them am an band. I can has seen them now?

The short answer is y. The slightly longer answer is yes. The actual answer is Yeas, and it was awesome.

Not much queue fun for once. I was a little later than I normally aim for, and the doors opened an hour earlier than I thought they did. So I was a lot further back than usual. Still, there was always the crazy tramp to watch for a bit, so thats something I guess.

One thing that is starting to really bug me though is the mess that the queue seems to leave at a J-Rock gigs. Much of the volume I guess is down to the campers, who seem to stake out these events ridiculosly far in advance. It's just that the closer you get to the doors the more there seems to be. I guess this might be a sign of my old age, but then again one of the enduring impressions I have of Japan was incerdibly CLEAN it all was. So seeing a Japanese band and making that much mess just seems wrong somehow.

Yes, I am well aware that I need to get out more. Thanks for asking.

Anyway, the gig itself was really fun. I mean, really. I had a great time, which is kind of wierd when you think about it, as I spent the whole thing trying to stand up to the moshpit that formed right in front of me. But it wasn't a BAD mosh pit. I've been in those before. This was fairly happy and friendly, with no casualties and a good atmosphere. It's just that not everybody appreciates having sweaty half naked young men running into them at speed. So somehow I made it my duty to defend those innocent young girlies behind me from the ravenous onslaught of high velocity testosterone., whilst similtaneously trying to make sure that things went okay in front and keep everyone from falling over.

It seemed to work quite well actually, and individuals in both directions seemed to express some small measure of gratitude at my efforts. Which was nice. It's great to feel INVOLVED. And a good time was had by all.

So, I didn't get to spend much time watching the band, as I was watching the crowd. However the music was rather good, and I'm certainly looking forward to listening to the new album tomorrow.

It's wierd really, it's been a hell of a long time since I've been to a gig with a proper moshpit. Am I getting soft in my old age? There was probably one at Maximum The Hormone, but we were on the sidelines for that. And anyway, that WAS ages ago. So, yeah, whatever.

Scariest part however has to be the timescale. Doors at SIX?!?! Band on at 7ish and then kicking out for half eight? It was still light! It's just weird. Not that I'm complaining really, as it means I get to come home and get a slightly less late night, which considering my ongoing health difficulties and the fact I'm going out again tomorrow night can only be a good thing.

Saturday 9 May 2009

[old blog import] How To Fail At Life

So, with the advent of my dotage upon me, I was wondering if there was some way of mathematically quantifying the degree by which I fail at life within a reasonable margin of error. So what could possibly be more scientific and accurate than a random list pulled of the internet?

Only a monkey in a lab coat. And he'd have to be wearing goggles.

So, here's a list of 50 things which the internet says I should have done with my life. We score each entry with a value of 2 for having been succesfully completed 0 for never being done and 1 if the context is vague enough that we can sort of say we sort of did it. Then we add up the results, subtract them from 100 and thus arrive at the % Fail of my life to date.

Learning is fun. So, here we go:

50 things to do before you're 30 according to blinman.com

1. Have a really stupid accident which necessitates a hospital visit
    Well, there's the time I needed stiches from opening the packaging of a super soaker, AND the time I broke my foot by walking on it. So I guess 2 points

2. Shoot something
    Fuzzy context alert! I've shot bows, air guns, paint ball guns, nerf guns and water pistols. Also various spring loaded missile launchers on some action figures. So unless they specifically mean restricted firearms (which they logic would dictate they mention specifically) I'm forced to score 2 point for variety if nothing else.

3. Take a weekend break more than 1000 miles from home
    I've been 2 weeks away from home well over 1000 miles away. does that count? possibly the focus is in spending a minimum time over maximum distance, but frankly that strikes me as being retarded. 1 point.

4. Boot Linux on your home PC
    Nope, never done this. Nil points.

5. Get lost in a country where you don't speak the language
    I'd say that lost is perhaps an overly strong term, though I did wander about a bit without really knowing where I was. So we'll call it 1

6. Spend more than your monthly income on a pocket sized gadget
    No. And I never will. Seriously, do they even MAKE pocket sized things that cost that much. And how is not eating for a month because you blew all your money on a phone an achievement. It's REATARDED. Nil Points.

7. Post bail for a friend
    What kind of friends is it you have that they NEED you to get them out of FUCKING PRISON? Douchebags I'd guess. Nil Points.

8. Break a really large plate glass window
    This is starting to sound more like a list of things not to do, isn't it? Nil points.

9. Make a parachute jump on a hangover
    Nope. I engage in neither of these activities frequently enough for them to intersect in such a fashion. By which I mean I don't do either of them. Nil Points.

10. Use a whole roll of gaffa tape in one day
    Ah, a question for the rapist at large. Anything you say on the internet may be taken down and used as evidence that you're RETARDED. Nil points.

11. Make a pointless modification to your house
    No. And I'd love a working definition of what it is they expect here. I mean, even you just paint a giant wang on the roof, surely the point is that your house now has a giant wang painted on it? This is getting confusing.

12. Neck a pint of peppermint oil
    This sounds... painful. I'm really starting to wonder if this list was constructed by a drooling moron or something. Nil Points.
   
13. Pull a shemale by mistake (but realise in time...)
    No. And I've never pushed one either. Boom, and indeed, boom.

14. Buy a samurai sword
    Yeah, on a couple of occasions. At least assuming replicas count. Seeing as how genuine swords are the remit of museums and rich fucks one can only assume this to be the case. 2 points.

15. Delay paying a bill until the summons arrives
    You know what I was saying about a drooling retard a second ago. He's back. Seriously, this is nothing to be proud of. Nil points.

16. Destroy a speed camera
    Errm, wanton vandalism is now a goal in life? I appreciate that many people don't like speed cameras, but then many criminals don't like security cameras, and you don't hear them complaining. Nil points.

17. Refill an inkjet cartridge
    With....? Ink one would hope, but the way this list is going I wouldn't be suprised if the guy pissed in it or something. I MIGHT have done this once, but frankly it's such a mundane task I simply don't remember. Nil points.

18. Say something obscene on national television
    Why would I even be on TV? And obecenity is a rather subjective term don't you think? Nil points.

19. Do a J turn in order to beat somebody to a parking space
    I'm not sure what exactly a J turn is suppossed to imply, short of, well, just turning. So the real question is are you a dick enough to cut someone up for a parking space? Nil points.

20. Break a sledgehammer
    Errm, no. Can't say it's on my list of things I really pught to be doing either. Nil points.

21. Make a bomb
    Yes. I do that ALL the time. Because I'm a T3RR0R15T!!!11!! Nil points.

22. Smash a CRT
    I'm assuming this to mean cathode ray tube, but who knows. Context has ever been the mortal enemy of the internet list, matched in hatred only by it's ally clarity. Nil points

23. Require medical treatment as a consequence of kinky sex gone wrong (STDs don't count.)
    There are so many things wrong with you right now. You're actually implying that it is in someway a good thing to fuck up a BDSM scenario to the extent where the participants are HOSPITALISED?!?! Nil points.

24. Tip a waiter with something other than money
    Such as what? Thats what tips ARE. Nil points.

25. Light a fire with petrol
    No. Not yet. I mean, I probably WOULD given the chance. So it's probably a good thing I haven't, depending on your views on hideous disfiguring burns that is.

26. Kidnap someone
    Oh god, the rapists back. Seriously Nil points. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK?

27. Park inside a motorway service station
    Okay, rape one minute and now we're going to the fucking little chef? Maybe thats where he dumps the bodies. Personally, I'll take the chicken. 2 points.

28. Own a convertible.
    Shall I make a facetious comment about Transformers here, or just skip to the next one? Nil points.

29. Live abroad.
    Errm, what? I've been Alive abroad, does that count? I'm going to assume he means spend a significant amount of time in a country other than the one of your legally registerd nationality for purposes other than leisure. Nil points.

30. Drive at more than 140mph.
    WE DON'T HAVE ROCKET CARS. THIS IS NOT THE FUTURE. Nil points.

31. Get something for free through a masterpiece of complaining
    You know, I'm getting the impression that what he really means here is to get something for free which you had no possible legal or moral entitlement to and you knew full you had no rationally supportable claim to. Because you're a massive cockwad. Coz I've had my money back on bunch of stuff where there was a genuine mistake or problem, but I'd never describe any of it as being a masterpiece of complaining. 1 point I guess.

32. Give yourself a mains electric shock.
    Seeing as how I'm sat here writing this and not buried under a headstone bearing dire warnings of consequences of reckless fork/socket interactions I think we can safely assume a no on this one.

33. Completely dismantle an object larger than yourself
    Depends on you're definition of dismantle. I've cut down a few trees in my time. Chainsaws are fun. 1 point.

34. Write off a car
    Sadly yes. Nothing to be proud of either. People could have died. What is wrong with this person? 2 points.

35. Fall asleep and get really hilarious sunburn
    God no. Again this is just stupid, and nothing AT ALL to be proud of. Nil points.

37. Stay up all night listening to a girl have an emotional crisis
    Not really, no. Why is it I can't help but think he's referring to the agonised sobs coming from his basement, and giggling maniacally? What is it about this document that would give me that impression? Oh yeah. THE RAPE. Nil points.

38. Lick the terminals of a 9 volt battery
    Square ones yeah. It's how you tell if they're still good. 2 points.

39. Take part in motorsport
    Nope. Even I have better things to do with my time than drive around in a circle for 3 hours. Nil points.

40. Stay at the office for more than 24 hours
    No. And more to the point, why would you want to?

41. Set off a fire extinguisher
    As in to put out a fire, or as in to be a cock? Guess which option I think he means? Nil points.

42. Drive at least 600 miles in a day on two lane roads
    Don't think so. Doesn't seem very likely either. I mean, that'd be like driving to scotland and back in a single day. Is that even possible?

43. Hotwire a car
    And we're back with the criminal tendancies again. Nil point, suprisingly.

44. Watch all the Monty Python films In one sitting
    Wow. This is possibly the first thing on this entire list that strikes me as being something actually worth doing. I haven't done it, but at least I would given the chance.

45. Shag an ex-girlfriend by mistake
    Please explain exactly how it is one has sex by mistake? You don't just accidentally fall over and fuck someone.

46. Dial 999
    Never needed to yet. That is, just in case you were wondering, held to be a good thing by any conventional standard.

47. Commit a faux pas which means that a friend will never speak to you again
    Not that I know of. But then if you did it's not like they'd tell you is it?

48. Make a bet you couldn't afford to lose
    No. Because that would be stupid. If you're betting you must be prepared to lose, if for no other reason than the simple fact that you will. It is inevitable.

49. Read a 500 page book in one sitting
    I'm not sure. Probably, but it's not like I tend to count the pages. I'm usually to usy reading the damn thing to keep a log. I'll say 1 point to be on the safe side.

50. Escape a perfectly justified parking ticket.
    No. Only ever gotten 1 ticket, and since I was working the office paid it.


So, what have we learned children? According to this list and the scoring principles set out above my life is 83% FAIL. This seems like an entiely reasonable figure, however I have to say that reviewing the criteria given I'm actually rather glad. I mean really, would you want to score highly on a list that includes so much mindless criminal activity? IT HAS RAPE ON IT. You're not meant to aspire to rape.

Are you?

Wheres the positive stuff? Wheres having friends and family and love and other hippy shite? Wheres painting a picture or writing a story or doing something creative? Hell, I'd take maxing your characters stats in fucking warcraft over the high speed police chases in a stolen car with a bleeding STD riddled ex duct taped to the trunk.

83% FAIL and I feel better about my life than when I started. Who'd have thunk it?

Saturday 4 April 2009

[old blog import] This Is GOJIRA!!!!

I've just been to the theatre luvvie.

Up to London to catch a little play called Men Of Monsters. Which I found about entirely by random this week when a publicity stunt they pulled with a monkey suit cropped up on one of the various blogs I monitor. I'm starting to get the hang of this internets buisness.

The basic idea of the piece is a (fictional) production of King Kong Vs Godzilla being staged during the cuban missile crisis, and the various character conflicts reflecting the larger situation. Or something. Certainly there's plenty to get your mental teeth into should you go in for that sort of thing. However the whole piece is thankfully incredibly entertaining as well. It's actually VERY funny throughout, and brilliantly realised by the actors.

It has been noted that the play, shall we say, misses some facts about the actual production. But if your getting hung up on the fact that the actual film wasn't filmed in Hollywood and the like then I feel  that you're kind of missing the point. Though being an obsessive G-fan does at least give you an extra layer to when someone makes a joke about the movie being a satire. Because the actual film IS a satire of corporate mentality. You just wouldn't neccessarily realise that if you've only had the misfortune of seeing the american cut.

I mean, I'VE only seen that cut, but I also have several books on the subject of Godzilla and an internets to use for reference. So I know. And knowing is half the battle.

I really couldn't say a bad thing. I loved the whole thing, and would easily go see it again. Except it finishes next week and I'm on call so I can't anyway. But I strongly recommend catching it if you can.

It has put me in a really GOOD mood. And there are very few things in this world that can say that.

Thursday 2 April 2009

[old blog import] Reflection

So then. 1 year.

As of yesterday it's been officially 1 year since I moved into my house. So now seems like an oppurtune moment to take stock of my so called life and see how things are going.

Well, I've still got a job which lets me pay the bills, though who knows how long that'll last at the moment. I don't particularly hate it, which is good. I seem to spend most of my waking life working, and most of that stressing which is less good. It keeps me in food and shelter and Manga, so thats the main thing.
Indeed, my main source of financial difficulty is my continuing inability to not spend several hundred pounds a month on books and CDs. Since I'm trying to make sure I put some into my savings and extra into my morgage every month this starting to leave me a little short at the end of the month. It's something I really need to work on.
When I get stressed I go shopping. 20 volumes of Manga just yesterday. Seriously.

Still, onwards with lifes audit.

I apparently still have a couple of friends, which is good. I don't really see any of them that much though. Ollie & Ben maybe once every couple of weeks. Nathan once a month if that. Whilst I do try to go out and do stuff needless to say I'll be doing it alone. This does get rather depressing. I don't really expect anyone to want to be around me at all, and I'm I certainly grateful when they take the time to do so.

As I said I try to go out. If there's something happening that interests me then I'll try and check it out. Assuming I'm not on call. Stuff does have a tendancy to happen in very expensive, tiring clusters however. But I'm trying to do things I wouldn't normally do. I mean, I've been to Japan for 2 weeks with a group of total strangers. I've been bungee jumping and to the opera. I've gone up to london just to see a film. Hell, I even signed up to a dating site and started playing the lottery.

Nothing really helps, but you can't say I'm not making an effort.

At the end of the day, despite all this I seem to spend an inordinate amount of time being depressed. Perhaps I'm not quite as suicidal as I was, and I seem to think about shooting myself in the head on a less frequent basis, but still. Somethings missing. I'm stuck where I am, and just don't seem to be going anywhere. But where do I need to go in life?

If I had an answer to that I could work out how to get there. Thats the thing about isolation, theres no additional input aside from yourself. It's the Star Wars Paradox. You plus a group of like minded individuals, doing your thing in the reeal world and dealing with it's challenges and you get A New Hope. You on your own in your own little world and you get The Phantom Menace.

Tuesday 24 March 2009

[old blog import] Teenage Lesbian Tramp Chocolate Night.

Well, An Cafe was fun.

Had a nice fun queue, chatting with a few random bods. J-Rock gigs do seem to have exceptionally friendly queues. I'm not sure why.

Scary thing is I'm starting to recognize people, and some of them recognize me. Encountered a few bods from LM.C inside and out, including a rather strange young thing who only refers to me as "awesome dude". Ahh, if only she knew the truth...

Anyway, fun with happy random peeps, and once more I will no doubt grace the facebook pages of complete strangers, which is frankly starting to become a bit of a habit.

But anyway, the gig itself. What was it like? Well to sum it in several words I can only say this;

I can't believe they actually played duck no magical adventure. Seriously.

Of course it was good. It was however quite short, with everything wrapping up around half nine or so. But then I guess thatsto expected with no support band. But they played well, worked the crowd, beat the security guards with hammers and a good time was most definately had by all. They played a lot of new songs, which although I didn't know were all cool, and are certainly making me look forward to listening to the new album.

I really should be able to say more than that, but frankly I'm incredibly tired. I've been having a rather shitty few weeks at work and have been stressed out of gourd for quite a long time. Tonight was a fun diversion from all that, but it has left me rather drained.

Drained, but Nyappy.

And Nyappy is half the battle.

Saturday 14 March 2009

[old blog import] FTINMWTFSBWWTA

Lat night I dreamed that I was getting a train in Japan. Carrying my 72" Biogenetic Bone Spear and a large plastic dustbin.

When I got on the train there was a video advert thing that featured footage of me and those other poor unfortunate souls I went to Japan with getting off a coach.

Later, or possibly earlier, I think there was something about piercings, but I don't really know what.

Interpret THAT if you dare.

Friday 6 March 2009

[old blog import] Opera-tion. You're the Doctor. It's so much fun to play

I awake this morning with a mouth that feels like a war crime. The product of a late night kebab? Or perhaps some mystical biological interpretation of the current themes of nuclear destruction that seem to attend my various cultural forays?

Okay, it was probably the kebab.

Anyway, that doesn't change the fact that I went out to the opera last night. We saw a little piece called Doctor Atomic, which is about Oppenheimer and the lead up to the detonation of the first ever nuclear bomb.

It was, all things considered, rather good. Obviouslly my experience of opera is somewhat limited, so my judgements are skewed accordingly and scarcely professional. But then I'm writing in my internets blog, not a reputable journal of cultural discussion. So who cares?

The first and probably most impressive thing about the performance was the visual impact of the whole thing. Utilising a simple but versatile movable scaffoldy type job and a couple of bits of furniture and whatnot they achieve a remarkable dynamic between the settings of various scenes. Intelligent use of lighting and clever projections enhance the whole thing greatly. Mad props also go out to the direction. There's almost always a whole load of something going on in the background. It's almost like an episode of Trapdoor in terms of the amount of movement going on. Awesome stagecraft. I was most impressed.

The acting is kind of hard to judge, as in this context it's really part of the music. I've already mentioned the sheer amount of buisness going on though, which does count in the department quite significantly. The performances were all pretty good, though not being a particular expert in this field it's hard to pick out particular highlights or dissapointments. I will however say that the lead role was being covered by an understudy, as the normal guy was off sick. I didn't think this detracted from the performance in any way, and the guy who was playing the part was good. Indeed, I have the opinion that an understudy is in many ways going to give a better performance than a big star, since this is a big chance for them and they'll be trying harder.

Musically it was pretty interesting, and certainly gave of a good range of ambient doominess in places, with a fairly soundtracky vibe. I'm such a philistine I know, but there was one movement that really did make me think it would work well on a chase scene.

There is one major sticking point with the piece though, which is what can only be described as "the hair sniffing scene". It was wrong, creepy and overlong. There are lengths to which one can push a metaphor. This scene pushed it past the point of no return, off a cliff, and several miles out to see. Going on at length about haory women that smell like sailors is just.... well, you see what I mean.

Sorry mate, your poetic licence has been revoked.

Other than that particular bit of sheer perversity, all good. Didn't really seem like it was about 3 hours long, which was good, but also kind of weird as it did feel rather padded in places.

I'd say, all in all, that it was a fun and interesting night out. I'd recommend doing something like this easily, and would probably go see an opera again if one took my fancy.

That however is with the proviso of price. I got the seats for this on special offer. They only cost me £10 each. The RRP on them was more like £70. If you're wondering what it is exactly thats stopping the masses from appreciating the arts, then let me point out that nobody is going to check something out for £70+. Get me some reasonabley priced seats however, and I'll be there.

Culture, motherfuckers. Try it.

Wednesday 25 February 2009

[old blog import] Welcome to the 20th century, boys.

There are at least three thing that truly make a Japanese film Japanese, even more so than being actually made by Japanese people speaking Japanese in Japan.

Those three thing off course being Giant Robots, Nuking the shit out of Tokyo, and thinly veiled Ultraman References.

20th Century Boys is a very Japanese film. It is also a rather good one. This comes as something of relief actually, considering that it's cost me nearly thirty quid to go see it. But the point of the excersize was that the film was actually seeable at the cinema. Even if I did have to trek all the way up to poxy London for the privilage.

The film is pretty much good all around. Well directed, well acted (even the baby was good!) and with an involving plot and good SPFX when the situation calls for.

It is worth noting that, as is often the case with this sort of thing, it's kind of obviously based on a longer running Manga. Whilst things do build towards the eventual finale in a fairly cohesive fashion which allays the whole "spot the end of the chapter" feeling you get from some other films (I'm looking at you Mushishi) there is a distinct feeling that some portion of the story has been glossed over in order to fit the film into a manageble running time. Whilst you technically could have sped up the pacing in the first half of the film you'd loose the whole sense of building up the mystery. But aside from that one obvious skip, the whole thing flows very well.

And of course, this is just part one. There is, as they say, more where that came from.

Overall I really enjoyed it. I'm quite keen to see part two, though whether or not that'll get a release over here remains a mystery for the future. And whilst future events such as these may well affect you in the future, you'll forgive me if I don't hold my breath. At the very least I'm certainly inclined to pick up the Manga so I can get the full depth of the story.

Because if theres one thing I really NEED right now it's another extensive series of Manga to buy into.

At the end of the day this is another really good Japanese film, which shows of the kind of awesome that Japanese cinema has to offer, but which will never get any sort of widespread release because of that crazy foreign jibber jabbber that keeps going on, so you'll never get to see this at your local cinema.

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE. SUBTITLES ARE NOT HARD.

Wednesday 18 February 2009

[old blog import] Is it done yet?

I have, at long last, finally completed my Japan trip scrapbook. It's only taken me a month and a half to find the time, and several rolls of sellotape to complete the hideous mishmash of random junk, flyers, tickets and whatever else caught my attention for whatever incomprehensible reason.

It's random, poorly organised, crudely stiched together and will doubtlessly age poorly and fall apart with time, but somehow that all strikes me as strangely appropriate. It reflects it's creator quite well in that regard.

The question I find myself asking however, is after all that, what was the point? It's not like anyone will ever see it except me. And I've seen it all already. Not really sure where this line of thought is going, probably nowhere. But it nevertheless remains a question, hanging over the completed artifact. Possibly like the sword of damocles. More realisically like one of those air fresheners shaped like a christmas tree or something.

Anyway, whatever, I don't fucking know.

It's done, thats the main thing.

Friday 13 February 2009

[old blog import] Friday The Umpteenth

Whilst tomorrow will no doubt be a day for sitting alone, eating to much choclolate and quietly sobbing, today was only suited to an entirely different sort of pursuit.

Because if you go down to the woods today you're sure of a big suprise. If by "suprise" you in fact mean "Machete in the FACE".

So yeah, I went to see the ne Friday The 13th movie. How could I not? I've liked Friday The 13th movies for a long time and frankly found the idea of a remake quite interesting. Normally I would be against the very notion with military zeal and a fanatical gleam in my eye, but Friday is for me a unique case. After all, the popular image of Jason does not make it onto screen until halfway through part 3. So how would this be handled? You are, after all left with the choice of remaking 3 films into one, or rewriting the mythology of the series in a dangerous way. So since to much Doctor Who has fosterd an interest in story structure and script editing in my feeble little mind this promised to be quite interesting from a technical standpoint if nothing else.

I'm pleased and frankly shocked to say that I found it to be a highly enjoyable experience. The movie stays true the essense of the series whilst jettisoning the bloated continuity that it finds unessesary to the telling of the story it wants to tell. So no zombie Jasons, psychic teenagers or anything like that. Just a big scary guy, in the woods, killing the shit out of a group of students or whatever in various fun ways. Spot the stiff is scarcely the most challenging game to play in a Friday The 13th movie. It it breathes, it dies. Spot the survivor is slightly more challenging, and this movie does actually pull a couple of tricks to give at least a small suprise as to who that is.

Worth noting are the many visual cues sprinkled throughout the film as a kind of tribute to all that has gone before, so if your familiar with the others theres a little something extra to look out for. It's interesting to contrast this technique with AvP2, where the whole thing felt like it had been storyboarded using clips from Predator and Alien, and just felt forced and unnatural. This movie achieves a much more subtle direction for these kind of shots.

The characters are, as ever, basically just meat. But at least a few of them acieve some small trace of depth or likability. Just a shame none of them survive.

Jason himself looks good, with a really solid performance from the guy playing him. Because solidity is what Jason's all about. He is an implacable, inescapable force of death. It's worth noting that whilst you do get a glimpse of the unmasked Jason a couple of times you never quite see him clearly. Just enough to tell he's deformed and hideous, but not enough to quite grasp the full makeup. This works very well. The unseen is always scarier after all.

The the film has an interesting structure, with the events of the original film covered in the first 5 minutes, followed up by what could almost be considered a mini Friday movie (which I guess you could call the part 2 section) which eventually ties into the main section (which could be considered the part 3 bit.) It's the area where Jason gets his mask, so I suppose thats a reasonably apposite summation.

So all in all, happy fun times all around, despite the presence of a certain name in the credits. I'm guessing that his production role wasn't massively hands on. Though there was one brief moment of hyperflamable tunnel that ALMOST looked like an explosion chasing someone down a hallway. I'll bet that was his idea. Fucking hack.

But yeah, enough of that git. JASON LIVES.

Of course he does. There's always room for a sequel. It's like jello.

Murder flavored Jello.

Tuesday 3 February 2009

[old blog import] In many ways this could be considered a rhetorical question

So, how good are LM.C live? Do you rock, rock the L M C? Because I've been rock, rocking on the L M C, and I have to say, it was rather good.

The queue was kind of fun. It's not every day you get hugs and bicuits from random strangers just for turning up. There was a certain amount of, shall we say, disorganisation as the campers at the front tried to sort themselves out, and the back and forth did become rather tedious, but whatever. We're not here to que, are we? We're here to rock, rock the L M C. Is that joke getting old yet? I could use it bunch more times if you'd like. No? Oh well....

So yeah LM.C take to the stage and blast through an awesome set for something a little over an hour and a half. I can't remeber what songs they played off hand, and it would be tedious to list them anyway. They worked the crowd well, despite their lack of english. Indeed, they did get a girl in the front row to translate a bit, which was pretty fun. A real nice touch was the guy who came out before the band for a little chat about the difficulties getting here, and to tell everyone to take care, not push the band and stuff like that. Maybe it's because they're not used to playing venues like the underworld (shitholes) or maybe they do that all the time, I don't know. It gave proceeding a nice personal touch.

There was a meet and greet session after the concert, but I decided not to stick around for a number of reasons. Such as concern over the trains, being absolutely knackered, not wanting to pay to much for the taxi. But mainly because the place was rather crowded, and it's really not like I have anything particularly edifying to say in the first place. I like your music! Bet they haven't heard that before.

Again tonight witnessed the strange phenomenon of people twlling me I look cool and/or asking to take photos of me. I'm still a little disturbed by this behaviour. Whilst it's very nice and all, I have to wonder why they keep doing it. Did I suddenly wake up interesting last week? I don't feel interesting. In fact I'm pretty sure I'm as boring as ever, probably more so. Maybe fashioned changed when I wasn't looking and ugly is the new awesome? Who can tell?

That guy. He'd know. Ask him.

Anyway, I am go sleep now, for I am tired beyond the ken of mortals. Maybe even beyond their barbies as well.

After all, it's not like I went to sleep at half six yesterday evening or anything, oh no.

I am such an old man right now.

Saturday 31 January 2009

[old blog import] I'm much better than yours...

You know who is apparently awesome? Other than pan-dimensional zombie Elvis, Ultraman and that one guy that was in Star Wars (you know the one I mean)?

Well, apparently it's me. Tremble before your new master, peons.

Today has been really good.Tokyo day was rather fun, though perhaps geared more toward people without an unhealthy knowledge of Japan. But we saw some cool (by which I of course mean INSANE) anime, and the dancing, music and Taiko were all well good. It was fun to mooch around and see some of the stuff, though of course having already been to Tokyo I was familiar with some of it already. The only major disapointment was the "display" of so called Tokyo street fashion, which basically amounted to a few pictures of people in fairly normal looking clothes and a long shot of that one street in Harajuku. Where were the goddamn Lolitas? Seriously. Still, just as well there weren't any really. I didn't bring any duct tape with me.

On a related note I feel pretty cool, as no less than THREE different people asked me to be in photos with/for them. This has never happened to me before. But when a girl comes up and asks if she can take your picture because and I quote "you're awesome" you can't help but feel a little chuffed.

After we had drunk our fill of the ambience at the expo we set sale for merry olde camden towne, where much shopping of the clothes took place. Got some wicked new trousers in Cyberdog, and an awesome top that's probably meant for a girl if I'm brutally honest, but Ireally don't care. It's goddamn awesome and I'm pretty sure I can carry it off, so fuck you and your antiquated notions of gender specific satorial segregation. I will destroy you. In other news we went to the oriental buffet place on Camden highstreet, where much tasty food was consumed at an almost reasonable price. Om nom nom.

So it's been a good day for gawpers. I've come to the conclusion that it's really rather silly to dress the way I do and get arsy when people look at me. Just enjoy it. After all, you DO look a bit wierd to most peoples tastes. No point being offended. If you don't on some level want the attention why the hell arre you dressing up anyway? Give the buggers something to talk about, why not? I feel pretty cool, so lets share it around a little.

And when I get in and decide to myself "day good. must blog. rawrrrrr." I find that in addition to annoymously brightening some random strangers facebook pages I have also been wroted about on teh internets!! In Japanese!! So big up props and other such colloquialisms to blahblah nurse Ako. Go check out Blahblah Hospital and buy some of her clothes. They are well good.

I am well chuffed right now. And I've still got Propaganda J-Rock AND LM.C to go.

Something terrible is going to happen any minute.

Thursday 29 January 2009

[old blog import] Lost in Darkness

You know, it's getting a bit freaky the way that bands I like seem to keep ending up on Darkest Labyrinth.

It's not quite suspicious yet, but if BAAL or Aural Vampire put out CDs on that label I'm going to start freaking out properly. I mean yeah, BLOOD and GPKISM are on there anyway, but with Suicide Ali putting out a single on that label, and now 2 Bullet moving there as well it seems like a lot of my top bands are all congregating in one place.

Which really isn't a bad thing all considered. Always seem to get my pre-orders delivered well in advance of the published release date.

So basically what I'm saying is: Darkest Labyrinth. Woooooo. They're good.

Saturday 24 January 2009

[old blog import] You know what? FUCK living.

There's any number of things I've been meaning to write about, but never quite found the time. However that's all irrelevant right now. I don't even have the time to do anything useful, such as clean my house or make food, since it has apparently been decided that I will spend the entire weekend stressed out of my gourd having a really bad time.

Seriously, to all you people who are posting in your status about how much you're looking forward to the weekend and what a great time you had on friday night?

FUCK YOU.

Now I get to trudge up to fucking london under half a ton of poxy tills. Not a happy bunny, no sir, no how.

Saturday 10 January 2009

[old blog import] Anticlimax Stories

So then, yeah. England. Wooooo.

Been back for a week now. It's quite depressingly like I've never been away, Excepting all the new Ultraman toys on my desk. But those could have come from anywhere.

Japan was pretty ace, and maybe next week I'll get around to writing up my notes. In the meantime I have ridiculous amounts of cleaning to do. Getting back into the grind is going to be the hard part. Still, never mind eh?

It's also a whole new year, in case you haven't noticed. Haven't really kept any resolutions yet, but then it's not like I've formally made any either. The problem it's always about doing less. Less eating, less spending, less of all the (allegedlly bad stuff). Not doing something makes for a pretty rubbish goal. You've not really got anything to work towards, no sense of accomplishment. But when I look at what I managed to do last year, I can't help but wonder if there's anything left. I mean, I went out to theme parks, did bungee jumping, a bunch of J-Rock concerts, Doctor Who exhibition, bought a house and went to Japan!

I'm all out of goals, at least ones with a definate result. Yeah, be less fat, cut down on the exsessive aquisition, sell shit on ebay, remove any trace of libido from my fractured psyche. Maybe even try to get over her. No idea how I'm ever gonna achieve that one, but then I never thought I could actually buy a house and go to Japan either, so I guess anythings possible.

In other news, Ultraman Mebius is the most awesome ever since last most awesome thing ever.

I'm gonna go do the washing up.