[old blog import] mary

mary had a little lamb
it's teeth as sharp as knives
it hunts about the moors and fens
taking many lives

mary had a little lamb
it's claws are long and sharp
to leap upon the screaming prey
and quickly pierce the heart

mary had a little lamb
its eyes are quick and keen
it sees the children where they hide
and comes before they scream

mary had a little lamb
a taste for human flesh
the babies bubble in the pot
for mary cooks them best

mary had a little man
to whip and pierce and beat
and when the fun and bleedings done
she chops him up for meat

why yes, I do have issues. why do you ask?

[old blog import] It's like shitting africa.

So then, a review of the weeks culinary escapades

Saturday: Zebra steak with cracked black peppers, sea salt and pink pink peppercorns. Served with swwet potato wedges, onion rings and garlic mushrooms.

Monday: Ostrich is spicy chilli stir fry.

Tuesday: Camel and chips.

Wednesday: Crocodile cooked with soy sauce, sticky rice and miso.

Thursday: cajun style Kangaroo with sweet potato wedges.

Friday: Wildebeest, wedges, onion rings, garlic mushrooms.

All in all and interesting experiment. The various meats ranged from the rather fucking tasty to the fairly meh, but only the camel didn't really impress. The crocodile I admit could have come out better, but I couldn't just slap EVERYTHING in the grill with a bit of spice now could I? Kangaroo and Ostrich were rather good, as were the Zebra and Wildebeest. All in all I guess it does depend on your culinary skills, something I personally lack. But I didn't manage to make any of it inedible. Which, considering the prices, was something of a relief.

The question I suppose is would I do it again? The answer is probably yes. There are, after all, far more animals that I haven't eaten than I have, and it's good to try new things. It's not something I'd do often however, as whilst variety may be the spice of life it is also the scourge of the wallet. In all honesty you get do it with a decent bit of conventional meat, but where's the fun in that?

Part of the attraction for this kind of thing is simply being able to say you've done it. And I have.

Lucky fucking me, eh?

[old blog import] Just think about it for a second.

I got some new piercing rings through the post today, as i'm intending on redoing some of my jewllery.

The packaging displays the somewhat baffling message "NOT intended for internal cavity use".

Never mind the practicality or hygine of such an arrangement. It's the logistics of the operation that are scaring me.

I mean, why would you? Seriously.

[old blog import] The Horror

I just cleaned my keyboard.

It's only a t times like that this that you come to truly appreciate what a disgusting pile of nauseating filth you actually are.

Seriously, eeew.