Last night I had possibly the scariest dream of my entire life.
I was being stalked. By The Riddler. As played by Jim Carey in Batman Forever.
He bugged my laptop.
Do you have any idea what that FEELS LIKE?!?!?
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
Sunday, 17 May 2009
[old blog import] Hooked On Monkies
So, a rather different sort of gig tonight. The BBC Radiophonic Workshop, or at least whats left of it, performing various compositions from across the history of that venerable institution.
It was, as the saying goes, well good.
Started out with a Q&A session, which was pretty cool. Got to hear some fun old stories and learn a few things. Nice job, very interesting. And didn't cost anything. Bonus.
Then on to the gig proper. The Roundhouse, as it turns out, is rather large. This means they have all sorts of projectors and funky lighting. It also means they have seats. Yay.
There is a support act. Kind of. Basically a lady and a gentlemen stood behind some computers doing... something. I don't really know what, but they made some awesome doomy noise, so rock on.
Then the main performance. Many people would scoff at going to see 5 old men play the theme to Newsround on ancient synthesiers. Fuck those guys, they don't know what they're talking about. Whilst I personally knew very little of what was being played, that didn't make it any less cool. And let's be honest. If you watched TV at all at any point in the 20th century, chances are you've heard something one of these guys wrote.
Unless you've never watched Doctor Who, in which case what the hell have you been doing with your life since 1963?
So yeah, they played the Doctor Who theme, pulling out a rather funky version for the last song. It ruled and I went home happy.
Culture is awesome. Try it, you might like it.
It was, as the saying goes, well good.
Started out with a Q&A session, which was pretty cool. Got to hear some fun old stories and learn a few things. Nice job, very interesting. And didn't cost anything. Bonus.
Then on to the gig proper. The Roundhouse, as it turns out, is rather large. This means they have all sorts of projectors and funky lighting. It also means they have seats. Yay.
There is a support act. Kind of. Basically a lady and a gentlemen stood behind some computers doing... something. I don't really know what, but they made some awesome doomy noise, so rock on.
Then the main performance. Many people would scoff at going to see 5 old men play the theme to Newsround on ancient synthesiers. Fuck those guys, they don't know what they're talking about. Whilst I personally knew very little of what was being played, that didn't make it any less cool. And let's be honest. If you watched TV at all at any point in the 20th century, chances are you've heard something one of these guys wrote.
Unless you've never watched Doctor Who, in which case what the hell have you been doing with your life since 1963?
So yeah, they played the Doctor Who theme, pulling out a rather funky version for the last song. It ruled and I went home happy.
Culture is awesome. Try it, you might like it.
Saturday, 16 May 2009
[old blog import] Pit Defence
Girugamesh. Them am an band. I can has seen them now?
The short answer is y. The slightly longer answer is yes. The actual answer is Yeas, and it was awesome.
Not much queue fun for once. I was a little later than I normally aim for, and the doors opened an hour earlier than I thought they did. So I was a lot further back than usual. Still, there was always the crazy tramp to watch for a bit, so thats something I guess.
One thing that is starting to really bug me though is the mess that the queue seems to leave at a J-Rock gigs. Much of the volume I guess is down to the campers, who seem to stake out these events ridiculosly far in advance. It's just that the closer you get to the doors the more there seems to be. I guess this might be a sign of my old age, but then again one of the enduring impressions I have of Japan was incerdibly CLEAN it all was. So seeing a Japanese band and making that much mess just seems wrong somehow.
Yes, I am well aware that I need to get out more. Thanks for asking.
Anyway, the gig itself was really fun. I mean, really. I had a great time, which is kind of wierd when you think about it, as I spent the whole thing trying to stand up to the moshpit that formed right in front of me. But it wasn't a BAD mosh pit. I've been in those before. This was fairly happy and friendly, with no casualties and a good atmosphere. It's just that not everybody appreciates having sweaty half naked young men running into them at speed. So somehow I made it my duty to defend those innocent young girlies behind me from the ravenous onslaught of high velocity testosterone., whilst similtaneously trying to make sure that things went okay in front and keep everyone from falling over.
It seemed to work quite well actually, and individuals in both directions seemed to express some small measure of gratitude at my efforts. Which was nice. It's great to feel INVOLVED. And a good time was had by all.
So, I didn't get to spend much time watching the band, as I was watching the crowd. However the music was rather good, and I'm certainly looking forward to listening to the new album tomorrow.
It's wierd really, it's been a hell of a long time since I've been to a gig with a proper moshpit. Am I getting soft in my old age? There was probably one at Maximum The Hormone, but we were on the sidelines for that. And anyway, that WAS ages ago. So, yeah, whatever.
Scariest part however has to be the timescale. Doors at SIX?!?! Band on at 7ish and then kicking out for half eight? It was still light! It's just weird. Not that I'm complaining really, as it means I get to come home and get a slightly less late night, which considering my ongoing health difficulties and the fact I'm going out again tomorrow night can only be a good thing.
The short answer is y. The slightly longer answer is yes. The actual answer is Yeas, and it was awesome.
Not much queue fun for once. I was a little later than I normally aim for, and the doors opened an hour earlier than I thought they did. So I was a lot further back than usual. Still, there was always the crazy tramp to watch for a bit, so thats something I guess.
One thing that is starting to really bug me though is the mess that the queue seems to leave at a J-Rock gigs. Much of the volume I guess is down to the campers, who seem to stake out these events ridiculosly far in advance. It's just that the closer you get to the doors the more there seems to be. I guess this might be a sign of my old age, but then again one of the enduring impressions I have of Japan was incerdibly CLEAN it all was. So seeing a Japanese band and making that much mess just seems wrong somehow.
Yes, I am well aware that I need to get out more. Thanks for asking.
Anyway, the gig itself was really fun. I mean, really. I had a great time, which is kind of wierd when you think about it, as I spent the whole thing trying to stand up to the moshpit that formed right in front of me. But it wasn't a BAD mosh pit. I've been in those before. This was fairly happy and friendly, with no casualties and a good atmosphere. It's just that not everybody appreciates having sweaty half naked young men running into them at speed. So somehow I made it my duty to defend those innocent young girlies behind me from the ravenous onslaught of high velocity testosterone., whilst similtaneously trying to make sure that things went okay in front and keep everyone from falling over.
It seemed to work quite well actually, and individuals in both directions seemed to express some small measure of gratitude at my efforts. Which was nice. It's great to feel INVOLVED. And a good time was had by all.
So, I didn't get to spend much time watching the band, as I was watching the crowd. However the music was rather good, and I'm certainly looking forward to listening to the new album tomorrow.
It's wierd really, it's been a hell of a long time since I've been to a gig with a proper moshpit. Am I getting soft in my old age? There was probably one at Maximum The Hormone, but we were on the sidelines for that. And anyway, that WAS ages ago. So, yeah, whatever.
Scariest part however has to be the timescale. Doors at SIX?!?! Band on at 7ish and then kicking out for half eight? It was still light! It's just weird. Not that I'm complaining really, as it means I get to come home and get a slightly less late night, which considering my ongoing health difficulties and the fact I'm going out again tomorrow night can only be a good thing.
Saturday, 9 May 2009
[old blog import] How To Fail At Life
So, with the advent of my dotage upon me, I was wondering if there was some way of mathematically quantifying the degree by which I fail at life within a reasonable margin of error. So what could possibly be more scientific and accurate than a random list pulled of the internet?
Only a monkey in a lab coat. And he'd have to be wearing goggles.
So, here's a list of 50 things which the internet says I should have done with my life. We score each entry with a value of 2 for having been succesfully completed 0 for never being done and 1 if the context is vague enough that we can sort of say we sort of did it. Then we add up the results, subtract them from 100 and thus arrive at the % Fail of my life to date.
Learning is fun. So, here we go:
50 things to do before you're 30 according to blinman.com
1. Have a really stupid accident which necessitates a hospital visit
Well, there's the time I needed stiches from opening the packaging of a super soaker, AND the time I broke my foot by walking on it. So I guess 2 points
2. Shoot something
Fuzzy context alert! I've shot bows, air guns, paint ball guns, nerf guns and water pistols. Also various spring loaded missile launchers on some action figures. So unless they specifically mean restricted firearms (which they logic would dictate they mention specifically) I'm forced to score 2 point for variety if nothing else.
3. Take a weekend break more than 1000 miles from home
I've been 2 weeks away from home well over 1000 miles away. does that count? possibly the focus is in spending a minimum time over maximum distance, but frankly that strikes me as being retarded. 1 point.
4. Boot Linux on your home PC
Nope, never done this. Nil points.
5. Get lost in a country where you don't speak the language
I'd say that lost is perhaps an overly strong term, though I did wander about a bit without really knowing where I was. So we'll call it 1
6. Spend more than your monthly income on a pocket sized gadget
No. And I never will. Seriously, do they even MAKE pocket sized things that cost that much. And how is not eating for a month because you blew all your money on a phone an achievement. It's REATARDED. Nil Points.
7. Post bail for a friend
What kind of friends is it you have that they NEED you to get them out of FUCKING PRISON? Douchebags I'd guess. Nil Points.
8. Break a really large plate glass window
This is starting to sound more like a list of things not to do, isn't it? Nil points.
9. Make a parachute jump on a hangover
Nope. I engage in neither of these activities frequently enough for them to intersect in such a fashion. By which I mean I don't do either of them. Nil Points.
10. Use a whole roll of gaffa tape in one day
Ah, a question for the rapist at large. Anything you say on the internet may be taken down and used as evidence that you're RETARDED. Nil points.
11. Make a pointless modification to your house
No. And I'd love a working definition of what it is they expect here. I mean, even you just paint a giant wang on the roof, surely the point is that your house now has a giant wang painted on it? This is getting confusing.
12. Neck a pint of peppermint oil
This sounds... painful. I'm really starting to wonder if this list was constructed by a drooling moron or something. Nil Points.
13. Pull a shemale by mistake (but realise in time...)
No. And I've never pushed one either. Boom, and indeed, boom.
14. Buy a samurai sword
Yeah, on a couple of occasions. At least assuming replicas count. Seeing as how genuine swords are the remit of museums and rich fucks one can only assume this to be the case. 2 points.
15. Delay paying a bill until the summons arrives
You know what I was saying about a drooling retard a second ago. He's back. Seriously, this is nothing to be proud of. Nil points.
16. Destroy a speed camera
Errm, wanton vandalism is now a goal in life? I appreciate that many people don't like speed cameras, but then many criminals don't like security cameras, and you don't hear them complaining. Nil points.
17. Refill an inkjet cartridge
With....? Ink one would hope, but the way this list is going I wouldn't be suprised if the guy pissed in it or something. I MIGHT have done this once, but frankly it's such a mundane task I simply don't remember. Nil points.
18. Say something obscene on national television
Why would I even be on TV? And obecenity is a rather subjective term don't you think? Nil points.
19. Do a J turn in order to beat somebody to a parking space
I'm not sure what exactly a J turn is suppossed to imply, short of, well, just turning. So the real question is are you a dick enough to cut someone up for a parking space? Nil points.
20. Break a sledgehammer
Errm, no. Can't say it's on my list of things I really pught to be doing either. Nil points.
21. Make a bomb
Yes. I do that ALL the time. Because I'm a T3RR0R15T!!!11!! Nil points.
22. Smash a CRT
I'm assuming this to mean cathode ray tube, but who knows. Context has ever been the mortal enemy of the internet list, matched in hatred only by it's ally clarity. Nil points
23. Require medical treatment as a consequence of kinky sex gone wrong (STDs don't count.)
There are so many things wrong with you right now. You're actually implying that it is in someway a good thing to fuck up a BDSM scenario to the extent where the participants are HOSPITALISED?!?! Nil points.
24. Tip a waiter with something other than money
Such as what? Thats what tips ARE. Nil points.
25. Light a fire with petrol
No. Not yet. I mean, I probably WOULD given the chance. So it's probably a good thing I haven't, depending on your views on hideous disfiguring burns that is.
26. Kidnap someone
Oh god, the rapists back. Seriously Nil points. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK?
27. Park inside a motorway service station
Okay, rape one minute and now we're going to the fucking little chef? Maybe thats where he dumps the bodies. Personally, I'll take the chicken. 2 points.
28. Own a convertible.
Shall I make a facetious comment about Transformers here, or just skip to the next one? Nil points.
29. Live abroad.
Errm, what? I've been Alive abroad, does that count? I'm going to assume he means spend a significant amount of time in a country other than the one of your legally registerd nationality for purposes other than leisure. Nil points.
30. Drive at more than 140mph.
WE DON'T HAVE ROCKET CARS. THIS IS NOT THE FUTURE. Nil points.
31. Get something for free through a masterpiece of complaining
You know, I'm getting the impression that what he really means here is to get something for free which you had no possible legal or moral entitlement to and you knew full you had no rationally supportable claim to. Because you're a massive cockwad. Coz I've had my money back on bunch of stuff where there was a genuine mistake or problem, but I'd never describe any of it as being a masterpiece of complaining. 1 point I guess.
32. Give yourself a mains electric shock.
Seeing as how I'm sat here writing this and not buried under a headstone bearing dire warnings of consequences of reckless fork/socket interactions I think we can safely assume a no on this one.
33. Completely dismantle an object larger than yourself
Depends on you're definition of dismantle. I've cut down a few trees in my time. Chainsaws are fun. 1 point.
34. Write off a car
Sadly yes. Nothing to be proud of either. People could have died. What is wrong with this person? 2 points.
35. Fall asleep and get really hilarious sunburn
God no. Again this is just stupid, and nothing AT ALL to be proud of. Nil points.
37. Stay up all night listening to a girl have an emotional crisis
Not really, no. Why is it I can't help but think he's referring to the agonised sobs coming from his basement, and giggling maniacally? What is it about this document that would give me that impression? Oh yeah. THE RAPE. Nil points.
38. Lick the terminals of a 9 volt battery
Square ones yeah. It's how you tell if they're still good. 2 points.
39. Take part in motorsport
Nope. Even I have better things to do with my time than drive around in a circle for 3 hours. Nil points.
40. Stay at the office for more than 24 hours
No. And more to the point, why would you want to?
41. Set off a fire extinguisher
As in to put out a fire, or as in to be a cock? Guess which option I think he means? Nil points.
42. Drive at least 600 miles in a day on two lane roads
Don't think so. Doesn't seem very likely either. I mean, that'd be like driving to scotland and back in a single day. Is that even possible?
43. Hotwire a car
And we're back with the criminal tendancies again. Nil point, suprisingly.
44. Watch all the Monty Python films In one sitting
Wow. This is possibly the first thing on this entire list that strikes me as being something actually worth doing. I haven't done it, but at least I would given the chance.
45. Shag an ex-girlfriend by mistake
Please explain exactly how it is one has sex by mistake? You don't just accidentally fall over and fuck someone.
46. Dial 999
Never needed to yet. That is, just in case you were wondering, held to be a good thing by any conventional standard.
47. Commit a faux pas which means that a friend will never speak to you again
Not that I know of. But then if you did it's not like they'd tell you is it?
48. Make a bet you couldn't afford to lose
No. Because that would be stupid. If you're betting you must be prepared to lose, if for no other reason than the simple fact that you will. It is inevitable.
49. Read a 500 page book in one sitting
I'm not sure. Probably, but it's not like I tend to count the pages. I'm usually to usy reading the damn thing to keep a log. I'll say 1 point to be on the safe side.
50. Escape a perfectly justified parking ticket.
No. Only ever gotten 1 ticket, and since I was working the office paid it.
So, what have we learned children? According to this list and the scoring principles set out above my life is 83% FAIL. This seems like an entiely reasonable figure, however I have to say that reviewing the criteria given I'm actually rather glad. I mean really, would you want to score highly on a list that includes so much mindless criminal activity? IT HAS RAPE ON IT. You're not meant to aspire to rape.
Are you?
Wheres the positive stuff? Wheres having friends and family and love and other hippy shite? Wheres painting a picture or writing a story or doing something creative? Hell, I'd take maxing your characters stats in fucking warcraft over the high speed police chases in a stolen car with a bleeding STD riddled ex duct taped to the trunk.
83% FAIL and I feel better about my life than when I started. Who'd have thunk it?
Only a monkey in a lab coat. And he'd have to be wearing goggles.
So, here's a list of 50 things which the internet says I should have done with my life. We score each entry with a value of 2 for having been succesfully completed 0 for never being done and 1 if the context is vague enough that we can sort of say we sort of did it. Then we add up the results, subtract them from 100 and thus arrive at the % Fail of my life to date.
Learning is fun. So, here we go:
50 things to do before you're 30 according to blinman.com
1. Have a really stupid accident which necessitates a hospital visit
Well, there's the time I needed stiches from opening the packaging of a super soaker, AND the time I broke my foot by walking on it. So I guess 2 points
2. Shoot something
Fuzzy context alert! I've shot bows, air guns, paint ball guns, nerf guns and water pistols. Also various spring loaded missile launchers on some action figures. So unless they specifically mean restricted firearms (which they logic would dictate they mention specifically) I'm forced to score 2 point for variety if nothing else.
3. Take a weekend break more than 1000 miles from home
I've been 2 weeks away from home well over 1000 miles away. does that count? possibly the focus is in spending a minimum time over maximum distance, but frankly that strikes me as being retarded. 1 point.
4. Boot Linux on your home PC
Nope, never done this. Nil points.
5. Get lost in a country where you don't speak the language
I'd say that lost is perhaps an overly strong term, though I did wander about a bit without really knowing where I was. So we'll call it 1
6. Spend more than your monthly income on a pocket sized gadget
No. And I never will. Seriously, do they even MAKE pocket sized things that cost that much. And how is not eating for a month because you blew all your money on a phone an achievement. It's REATARDED. Nil Points.
7. Post bail for a friend
What kind of friends is it you have that they NEED you to get them out of FUCKING PRISON? Douchebags I'd guess. Nil Points.
8. Break a really large plate glass window
This is starting to sound more like a list of things not to do, isn't it? Nil points.
9. Make a parachute jump on a hangover
Nope. I engage in neither of these activities frequently enough for them to intersect in such a fashion. By which I mean I don't do either of them. Nil Points.
10. Use a whole roll of gaffa tape in one day
Ah, a question for the rapist at large. Anything you say on the internet may be taken down and used as evidence that you're RETARDED. Nil points.
11. Make a pointless modification to your house
No. And I'd love a working definition of what it is they expect here. I mean, even you just paint a giant wang on the roof, surely the point is that your house now has a giant wang painted on it? This is getting confusing.
12. Neck a pint of peppermint oil
This sounds... painful. I'm really starting to wonder if this list was constructed by a drooling moron or something. Nil Points.
13. Pull a shemale by mistake (but realise in time...)
No. And I've never pushed one either. Boom, and indeed, boom.
14. Buy a samurai sword
Yeah, on a couple of occasions. At least assuming replicas count. Seeing as how genuine swords are the remit of museums and rich fucks one can only assume this to be the case. 2 points.
15. Delay paying a bill until the summons arrives
You know what I was saying about a drooling retard a second ago. He's back. Seriously, this is nothing to be proud of. Nil points.
16. Destroy a speed camera
Errm, wanton vandalism is now a goal in life? I appreciate that many people don't like speed cameras, but then many criminals don't like security cameras, and you don't hear them complaining. Nil points.
17. Refill an inkjet cartridge
With....? Ink one would hope, but the way this list is going I wouldn't be suprised if the guy pissed in it or something. I MIGHT have done this once, but frankly it's such a mundane task I simply don't remember. Nil points.
18. Say something obscene on national television
Why would I even be on TV? And obecenity is a rather subjective term don't you think? Nil points.
19. Do a J turn in order to beat somebody to a parking space
I'm not sure what exactly a J turn is suppossed to imply, short of, well, just turning. So the real question is are you a dick enough to cut someone up for a parking space? Nil points.
20. Break a sledgehammer
Errm, no. Can't say it's on my list of things I really pught to be doing either. Nil points.
21. Make a bomb
Yes. I do that ALL the time. Because I'm a T3RR0R15T!!!11!! Nil points.
22. Smash a CRT
I'm assuming this to mean cathode ray tube, but who knows. Context has ever been the mortal enemy of the internet list, matched in hatred only by it's ally clarity. Nil points
23. Require medical treatment as a consequence of kinky sex gone wrong (STDs don't count.)
There are so many things wrong with you right now. You're actually implying that it is in someway a good thing to fuck up a BDSM scenario to the extent where the participants are HOSPITALISED?!?! Nil points.
24. Tip a waiter with something other than money
Such as what? Thats what tips ARE. Nil points.
25. Light a fire with petrol
No. Not yet. I mean, I probably WOULD given the chance. So it's probably a good thing I haven't, depending on your views on hideous disfiguring burns that is.
26. Kidnap someone
Oh god, the rapists back. Seriously Nil points. I mean, WHAT THE FUCK?
27. Park inside a motorway service station
Okay, rape one minute and now we're going to the fucking little chef? Maybe thats where he dumps the bodies. Personally, I'll take the chicken. 2 points.
28. Own a convertible.
Shall I make a facetious comment about Transformers here, or just skip to the next one? Nil points.
29. Live abroad.
Errm, what? I've been Alive abroad, does that count? I'm going to assume he means spend a significant amount of time in a country other than the one of your legally registerd nationality for purposes other than leisure. Nil points.
30. Drive at more than 140mph.
WE DON'T HAVE ROCKET CARS. THIS IS NOT THE FUTURE. Nil points.
31. Get something for free through a masterpiece of complaining
You know, I'm getting the impression that what he really means here is to get something for free which you had no possible legal or moral entitlement to and you knew full you had no rationally supportable claim to. Because you're a massive cockwad. Coz I've had my money back on bunch of stuff where there was a genuine mistake or problem, but I'd never describe any of it as being a masterpiece of complaining. 1 point I guess.
32. Give yourself a mains electric shock.
Seeing as how I'm sat here writing this and not buried under a headstone bearing dire warnings of consequences of reckless fork/socket interactions I think we can safely assume a no on this one.
33. Completely dismantle an object larger than yourself
Depends on you're definition of dismantle. I've cut down a few trees in my time. Chainsaws are fun. 1 point.
34. Write off a car
Sadly yes. Nothing to be proud of either. People could have died. What is wrong with this person? 2 points.
35. Fall asleep and get really hilarious sunburn
God no. Again this is just stupid, and nothing AT ALL to be proud of. Nil points.
37. Stay up all night listening to a girl have an emotional crisis
Not really, no. Why is it I can't help but think he's referring to the agonised sobs coming from his basement, and giggling maniacally? What is it about this document that would give me that impression? Oh yeah. THE RAPE. Nil points.
38. Lick the terminals of a 9 volt battery
Square ones yeah. It's how you tell if they're still good. 2 points.
39. Take part in motorsport
Nope. Even I have better things to do with my time than drive around in a circle for 3 hours. Nil points.
40. Stay at the office for more than 24 hours
No. And more to the point, why would you want to?
41. Set off a fire extinguisher
As in to put out a fire, or as in to be a cock? Guess which option I think he means? Nil points.
42. Drive at least 600 miles in a day on two lane roads
Don't think so. Doesn't seem very likely either. I mean, that'd be like driving to scotland and back in a single day. Is that even possible?
43. Hotwire a car
And we're back with the criminal tendancies again. Nil point, suprisingly.
44. Watch all the Monty Python films In one sitting
Wow. This is possibly the first thing on this entire list that strikes me as being something actually worth doing. I haven't done it, but at least I would given the chance.
45. Shag an ex-girlfriend by mistake
Please explain exactly how it is one has sex by mistake? You don't just accidentally fall over and fuck someone.
46. Dial 999
Never needed to yet. That is, just in case you were wondering, held to be a good thing by any conventional standard.
47. Commit a faux pas which means that a friend will never speak to you again
Not that I know of. But then if you did it's not like they'd tell you is it?
48. Make a bet you couldn't afford to lose
No. Because that would be stupid. If you're betting you must be prepared to lose, if for no other reason than the simple fact that you will. It is inevitable.
49. Read a 500 page book in one sitting
I'm not sure. Probably, but it's not like I tend to count the pages. I'm usually to usy reading the damn thing to keep a log. I'll say 1 point to be on the safe side.
50. Escape a perfectly justified parking ticket.
No. Only ever gotten 1 ticket, and since I was working the office paid it.
So, what have we learned children? According to this list and the scoring principles set out above my life is 83% FAIL. This seems like an entiely reasonable figure, however I have to say that reviewing the criteria given I'm actually rather glad. I mean really, would you want to score highly on a list that includes so much mindless criminal activity? IT HAS RAPE ON IT. You're not meant to aspire to rape.
Are you?
Wheres the positive stuff? Wheres having friends and family and love and other hippy shite? Wheres painting a picture or writing a story or doing something creative? Hell, I'd take maxing your characters stats in fucking warcraft over the high speed police chases in a stolen car with a bleeding STD riddled ex duct taped to the trunk.
83% FAIL and I feel better about my life than when I started. Who'd have thunk it?
Saturday, 4 April 2009
[old blog import] This Is GOJIRA!!!!
I've just been to the theatre luvvie.
Up to London to catch a little play called Men Of Monsters. Which I found about entirely by random this week when a publicity stunt they pulled with a monkey suit cropped up on one of the various blogs I monitor. I'm starting to get the hang of this internets buisness.
The basic idea of the piece is a (fictional) production of King Kong Vs Godzilla being staged during the cuban missile crisis, and the various character conflicts reflecting the larger situation. Or something. Certainly there's plenty to get your mental teeth into should you go in for that sort of thing. However the whole piece is thankfully incredibly entertaining as well. It's actually VERY funny throughout, and brilliantly realised by the actors.
It has been noted that the play, shall we say, misses some facts about the actual production. But if your getting hung up on the fact that the actual film wasn't filmed in Hollywood and the like then I feel that you're kind of missing the point. Though being an obsessive G-fan does at least give you an extra layer to when someone makes a joke about the movie being a satire. Because the actual film IS a satire of corporate mentality. You just wouldn't neccessarily realise that if you've only had the misfortune of seeing the american cut.
I mean, I'VE only seen that cut, but I also have several books on the subject of Godzilla and an internets to use for reference. So I know. And knowing is half the battle.
I really couldn't say a bad thing. I loved the whole thing, and would easily go see it again. Except it finishes next week and I'm on call so I can't anyway. But I strongly recommend catching it if you can.
It has put me in a really GOOD mood. And there are very few things in this world that can say that.
Up to London to catch a little play called Men Of Monsters. Which I found about entirely by random this week when a publicity stunt they pulled with a monkey suit cropped up on one of the various blogs I monitor. I'm starting to get the hang of this internets buisness.
The basic idea of the piece is a (fictional) production of King Kong Vs Godzilla being staged during the cuban missile crisis, and the various character conflicts reflecting the larger situation. Or something. Certainly there's plenty to get your mental teeth into should you go in for that sort of thing. However the whole piece is thankfully incredibly entertaining as well. It's actually VERY funny throughout, and brilliantly realised by the actors.
It has been noted that the play, shall we say, misses some facts about the actual production. But if your getting hung up on the fact that the actual film wasn't filmed in Hollywood and the like then I feel that you're kind of missing the point. Though being an obsessive G-fan does at least give you an extra layer to when someone makes a joke about the movie being a satire. Because the actual film IS a satire of corporate mentality. You just wouldn't neccessarily realise that if you've only had the misfortune of seeing the american cut.
I mean, I'VE only seen that cut, but I also have several books on the subject of Godzilla and an internets to use for reference. So I know. And knowing is half the battle.
I really couldn't say a bad thing. I loved the whole thing, and would easily go see it again. Except it finishes next week and I'm on call so I can't anyway. But I strongly recommend catching it if you can.
It has put me in a really GOOD mood. And there are very few things in this world that can say that.
Thursday, 2 April 2009
[old blog import] Reflection
So then. 1 year.
As of yesterday it's been officially 1 year since I moved into my house. So now seems like an oppurtune moment to take stock of my so called life and see how things are going.
Well, I've still got a job which lets me pay the bills, though who knows how long that'll last at the moment. I don't particularly hate it, which is good. I seem to spend most of my waking life working, and most of that stressing which is less good. It keeps me in food and shelter and Manga, so thats the main thing.
Indeed, my main source of financial difficulty is my continuing inability to not spend several hundred pounds a month on books and CDs. Since I'm trying to make sure I put some into my savings and extra into my morgage every month this starting to leave me a little short at the end of the month. It's something I really need to work on.
When I get stressed I go shopping. 20 volumes of Manga just yesterday. Seriously.
Still, onwards with lifes audit.
I apparently still have a couple of friends, which is good. I don't really see any of them that much though. Ollie & Ben maybe once every couple of weeks. Nathan once a month if that. Whilst I do try to go out and do stuff needless to say I'll be doing it alone. This does get rather depressing. I don't really expect anyone to want to be around me at all, and I'm I certainly grateful when they take the time to do so.
As I said I try to go out. If there's something happening that interests me then I'll try and check it out. Assuming I'm not on call. Stuff does have a tendancy to happen in very expensive, tiring clusters however. But I'm trying to do things I wouldn't normally do. I mean, I've been to Japan for 2 weeks with a group of total strangers. I've been bungee jumping and to the opera. I've gone up to london just to see a film. Hell, I even signed up to a dating site and started playing the lottery.
Nothing really helps, but you can't say I'm not making an effort.
At the end of the day, despite all this I seem to spend an inordinate amount of time being depressed. Perhaps I'm not quite as suicidal as I was, and I seem to think about shooting myself in the head on a less frequent basis, but still. Somethings missing. I'm stuck where I am, and just don't seem to be going anywhere. But where do I need to go in life?
If I had an answer to that I could work out how to get there. Thats the thing about isolation, theres no additional input aside from yourself. It's the Star Wars Paradox. You plus a group of like minded individuals, doing your thing in the reeal world and dealing with it's challenges and you get A New Hope. You on your own in your own little world and you get The Phantom Menace.
As of yesterday it's been officially 1 year since I moved into my house. So now seems like an oppurtune moment to take stock of my so called life and see how things are going.
Well, I've still got a job which lets me pay the bills, though who knows how long that'll last at the moment. I don't particularly hate it, which is good. I seem to spend most of my waking life working, and most of that stressing which is less good. It keeps me in food and shelter and Manga, so thats the main thing.
Indeed, my main source of financial difficulty is my continuing inability to not spend several hundred pounds a month on books and CDs. Since I'm trying to make sure I put some into my savings and extra into my morgage every month this starting to leave me a little short at the end of the month. It's something I really need to work on.
When I get stressed I go shopping. 20 volumes of Manga just yesterday. Seriously.
Still, onwards with lifes audit.
I apparently still have a couple of friends, which is good. I don't really see any of them that much though. Ollie & Ben maybe once every couple of weeks. Nathan once a month if that. Whilst I do try to go out and do stuff needless to say I'll be doing it alone. This does get rather depressing. I don't really expect anyone to want to be around me at all, and I'm I certainly grateful when they take the time to do so.
As I said I try to go out. If there's something happening that interests me then I'll try and check it out. Assuming I'm not on call. Stuff does have a tendancy to happen in very expensive, tiring clusters however. But I'm trying to do things I wouldn't normally do. I mean, I've been to Japan for 2 weeks with a group of total strangers. I've been bungee jumping and to the opera. I've gone up to london just to see a film. Hell, I even signed up to a dating site and started playing the lottery.
Nothing really helps, but you can't say I'm not making an effort.
At the end of the day, despite all this I seem to spend an inordinate amount of time being depressed. Perhaps I'm not quite as suicidal as I was, and I seem to think about shooting myself in the head on a less frequent basis, but still. Somethings missing. I'm stuck where I am, and just don't seem to be going anywhere. But where do I need to go in life?
If I had an answer to that I could work out how to get there. Thats the thing about isolation, theres no additional input aside from yourself. It's the Star Wars Paradox. You plus a group of like minded individuals, doing your thing in the reeal world and dealing with it's challenges and you get A New Hope. You on your own in your own little world and you get The Phantom Menace.
Tuesday, 24 March 2009
[old blog import] Teenage Lesbian Tramp Chocolate Night.
Well, An Cafe was fun.
Had a nice fun queue, chatting with a few random bods. J-Rock gigs do seem to have exceptionally friendly queues. I'm not sure why.
Scary thing is I'm starting to recognize people, and some of them recognize me. Encountered a few bods from LM.C inside and out, including a rather strange young thing who only refers to me as "awesome dude". Ahh, if only she knew the truth...
Anyway, fun with happy random peeps, and once more I will no doubt grace the facebook pages of complete strangers, which is frankly starting to become a bit of a habit.
But anyway, the gig itself. What was it like? Well to sum it in several words I can only say this;
I can't believe they actually played duck no magical adventure. Seriously.
Of course it was good. It was however quite short, with everything wrapping up around half nine or so. But then I guess thatsto expected with no support band. But they played well, worked the crowd, beat the security guards with hammers and a good time was most definately had by all. They played a lot of new songs, which although I didn't know were all cool, and are certainly making me look forward to listening to the new album.
I really should be able to say more than that, but frankly I'm incredibly tired. I've been having a rather shitty few weeks at work and have been stressed out of gourd for quite a long time. Tonight was a fun diversion from all that, but it has left me rather drained.
Drained, but Nyappy.
And Nyappy is half the battle.
Had a nice fun queue, chatting with a few random bods. J-Rock gigs do seem to have exceptionally friendly queues. I'm not sure why.
Scary thing is I'm starting to recognize people, and some of them recognize me. Encountered a few bods from LM.C inside and out, including a rather strange young thing who only refers to me as "awesome dude". Ahh, if only she knew the truth...
Anyway, fun with happy random peeps, and once more I will no doubt grace the facebook pages of complete strangers, which is frankly starting to become a bit of a habit.
But anyway, the gig itself. What was it like? Well to sum it in several words I can only say this;
I can't believe they actually played duck no magical adventure. Seriously.
Of course it was good. It was however quite short, with everything wrapping up around half nine or so. But then I guess thatsto expected with no support band. But they played well, worked the crowd, beat the security guards with hammers and a good time was most definately had by all. They played a lot of new songs, which although I didn't know were all cool, and are certainly making me look forward to listening to the new album.
I really should be able to say more than that, but frankly I'm incredibly tired. I've been having a rather shitty few weeks at work and have been stressed out of gourd for quite a long time. Tonight was a fun diversion from all that, but it has left me rather drained.
Drained, but Nyappy.
And Nyappy is half the battle.
Saturday, 14 March 2009
[old blog import] FTINMWTFSBWWTA
Lat night I dreamed that I was getting a train in Japan. Carrying my 72" Biogenetic Bone Spear and a large plastic dustbin.
When I got on the train there was a video advert thing that featured footage of me and those other poor unfortunate souls I went to Japan with getting off a coach.
Later, or possibly earlier, I think there was something about piercings, but I don't really know what.
Interpret THAT if you dare.
When I got on the train there was a video advert thing that featured footage of me and those other poor unfortunate souls I went to Japan with getting off a coach.
Later, or possibly earlier, I think there was something about piercings, but I don't really know what.
Interpret THAT if you dare.
Friday, 6 March 2009
[old blog import] Opera-tion. You're the Doctor. It's so much fun to play
I awake this morning with a mouth that feels like a war crime. The product of a late night kebab? Or perhaps some mystical biological interpretation of the current themes of nuclear destruction that seem to attend my various cultural forays?
Okay, it was probably the kebab.
Anyway, that doesn't change the fact that I went out to the opera last night. We saw a little piece called Doctor Atomic, which is about Oppenheimer and the lead up to the detonation of the first ever nuclear bomb.
It was, all things considered, rather good. Obviouslly my experience of opera is somewhat limited, so my judgements are skewed accordingly and scarcely professional. But then I'm writing in my internets blog, not a reputable journal of cultural discussion. So who cares?
The first and probably most impressive thing about the performance was the visual impact of the whole thing. Utilising a simple but versatile movable scaffoldy type job and a couple of bits of furniture and whatnot they achieve a remarkable dynamic between the settings of various scenes. Intelligent use of lighting and clever projections enhance the whole thing greatly. Mad props also go out to the direction. There's almost always a whole load of something going on in the background. It's almost like an episode of Trapdoor in terms of the amount of movement going on. Awesome stagecraft. I was most impressed.
The acting is kind of hard to judge, as in this context it's really part of the music. I've already mentioned the sheer amount of buisness going on though, which does count in the department quite significantly. The performances were all pretty good, though not being a particular expert in this field it's hard to pick out particular highlights or dissapointments. I will however say that the lead role was being covered by an understudy, as the normal guy was off sick. I didn't think this detracted from the performance in any way, and the guy who was playing the part was good. Indeed, I have the opinion that an understudy is in many ways going to give a better performance than a big star, since this is a big chance for them and they'll be trying harder.
Musically it was pretty interesting, and certainly gave of a good range of ambient doominess in places, with a fairly soundtracky vibe. I'm such a philistine I know, but there was one movement that really did make me think it would work well on a chase scene.
There is one major sticking point with the piece though, which is what can only be described as "the hair sniffing scene". It was wrong, creepy and overlong. There are lengths to which one can push a metaphor. This scene pushed it past the point of no return, off a cliff, and several miles out to see. Going on at length about haory women that smell like sailors is just.... well, you see what I mean.
Sorry mate, your poetic licence has been revoked.
Other than that particular bit of sheer perversity, all good. Didn't really seem like it was about 3 hours long, which was good, but also kind of weird as it did feel rather padded in places.
I'd say, all in all, that it was a fun and interesting night out. I'd recommend doing something like this easily, and would probably go see an opera again if one took my fancy.
That however is with the proviso of price. I got the seats for this on special offer. They only cost me £10 each. The RRP on them was more like £70. If you're wondering what it is exactly thats stopping the masses from appreciating the arts, then let me point out that nobody is going to check something out for £70+. Get me some reasonabley priced seats however, and I'll be there.
Culture, motherfuckers. Try it.
Okay, it was probably the kebab.
Anyway, that doesn't change the fact that I went out to the opera last night. We saw a little piece called Doctor Atomic, which is about Oppenheimer and the lead up to the detonation of the first ever nuclear bomb.
It was, all things considered, rather good. Obviouslly my experience of opera is somewhat limited, so my judgements are skewed accordingly and scarcely professional. But then I'm writing in my internets blog, not a reputable journal of cultural discussion. So who cares?
The first and probably most impressive thing about the performance was the visual impact of the whole thing. Utilising a simple but versatile movable scaffoldy type job and a couple of bits of furniture and whatnot they achieve a remarkable dynamic between the settings of various scenes. Intelligent use of lighting and clever projections enhance the whole thing greatly. Mad props also go out to the direction. There's almost always a whole load of something going on in the background. It's almost like an episode of Trapdoor in terms of the amount of movement going on. Awesome stagecraft. I was most impressed.
The acting is kind of hard to judge, as in this context it's really part of the music. I've already mentioned the sheer amount of buisness going on though, which does count in the department quite significantly. The performances were all pretty good, though not being a particular expert in this field it's hard to pick out particular highlights or dissapointments. I will however say that the lead role was being covered by an understudy, as the normal guy was off sick. I didn't think this detracted from the performance in any way, and the guy who was playing the part was good. Indeed, I have the opinion that an understudy is in many ways going to give a better performance than a big star, since this is a big chance for them and they'll be trying harder.
Musically it was pretty interesting, and certainly gave of a good range of ambient doominess in places, with a fairly soundtracky vibe. I'm such a philistine I know, but there was one movement that really did make me think it would work well on a chase scene.
There is one major sticking point with the piece though, which is what can only be described as "the hair sniffing scene". It was wrong, creepy and overlong. There are lengths to which one can push a metaphor. This scene pushed it past the point of no return, off a cliff, and several miles out to see. Going on at length about haory women that smell like sailors is just.... well, you see what I mean.
Sorry mate, your poetic licence has been revoked.
Other than that particular bit of sheer perversity, all good. Didn't really seem like it was about 3 hours long, which was good, but also kind of weird as it did feel rather padded in places.
I'd say, all in all, that it was a fun and interesting night out. I'd recommend doing something like this easily, and would probably go see an opera again if one took my fancy.
That however is with the proviso of price. I got the seats for this on special offer. They only cost me £10 each. The RRP on them was more like £70. If you're wondering what it is exactly thats stopping the masses from appreciating the arts, then let me point out that nobody is going to check something out for £70+. Get me some reasonabley priced seats however, and I'll be there.
Culture, motherfuckers. Try it.
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