And Now I Hate Life And Everything In It

I realize I haven't posted anything here in a long time. There are a few reasons for that. Partly I've been dealing with my various crippling emotional problems, partly I've been busy and stressed out with work. Mostly I've been playing City Of Heroes, but that's another story.

Tonight though, I'd like to talk about something a little different. For some reason (which I assure you has everything to do with not being able to play CoV at the moment) I decided to experiment with one of those random chat sites. You know, the ones no sane person would go near because they know full well are full of lunatics and their wangs?

Well, let me dispel a few myths for you and tell you what it's REALLY like.

WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG. WANG.

You know those amussing conversations you sometimes see scrren caps of? Doesn't happen. Amusing conversation is a myth. Coherent conversation exists only in the fevered dreams of madmen, and the roads are paved with wang. Everything bad you have ever heard is true and you should, under no circumstance EVER try this at home kids.

The irony of course is that I did this as an experiment in socialization. Being a naturally introverted sort I figured I'd attempt a bit of random conversation to boost my gregariousness rank, which has so far served as a dump stat of the highest order. Not that the penalty has allowed me to actually buy any perks, but I digress. It's like people keep saying, I need to get out there and meet people. Well you know what? THEY WERE ALL MASTURBATING AT ME!! ALL OF THEM!!

I Don't want to meet anyone EVER AGAIN. Even worse, I don't think I'll ever be able to bring myself to actually jerk off again. Seriously, it's just not an option anymore. Sex is dead to me. I HAVE NO SEXUALITY. I renounce the very concept of gender. I've had enough of this disgusting biological compulsion.

The thing that really baffles me (because now I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT) is who, exactly, are they meant to be impressing? I mean even if there WERE any girls on the internet and any of them were niave or stupid enough to go on one of these sites and you somehow managed to connect to them entirely at random do you really think that the best way to way to attract a lady is to state, in the most unequivical terms possible, that you are in fact a COMPLETE WANKER?!?!!

Seriously ladies, help me out here. Let me know if you ever actually think "you know, I'm REALLY in the mood to looking at some creepy weirdo jerking off on a webcam". And I'll let you know that you are in fact not a lady but a fat bearded guy called keith who is at this moment sat in a darkened room jerking off into a webcam. IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. JUST STOP.

Now, if you'll exuse me I'm going to go pour bleach into every single hole in my body in a vain attempt to scrub the internet out of it.