Thursday 23 June 2011

Doomcrawl Dungeon Chapeter 13:Chosen

Maris hated prophecies.

To be fair, when it came right down to it he hated a lot of things. Maybe even most things. The problem with most things was simply that they tended to get in the way of what you actually wanted to do. Most things were, simply, a distraction from ones goals. Which were simple enough. Maris was, at heart, a wizard. Or would be if he had a heart. Which he didn't, but he never let the absence of any major organs worry him. Organs were, like most things, simply another distraction. Like most wizards, all Maris really wanted to do was stay at home and read black and ancient tomes of forbidden knowledge, study the magical arts and learn some new spells. Admittedly most of the ones he ended up learning were explicitly violent. But those were the ones that came in most useful when someone was trying to interrupt. They also came in pretty handy on the rare occasions he ran out of arcane secrets no man was meant to know and had to go out looking for more. This was, he felt, the ideal way of life for any self respecting student of the magical arts. The simple fact that he was dead just meant that he theoretically had more time time to do it than most.

Monday 13 June 2011

Doomcrawl Dungeon Chapter 12: Piety

There were days when Maris wondered if he'd done something to offend some god or other who was even now exacting some tortuous and needlessly overcomplicated revenge. To be fair, in his line of work it was kind of hard not to offend the odd Deity, and there were an awful lot of them to choose from. For a start he was unnatural undead construction of bone and malice, which did tend to upset most of the various life and nature types, as well as a handful of the more boring gods of death. There were just so many of the damn things. More or less every culture had their own version of god for more or less everything, all with their own particular sets of rules and edicts. It was all so terribly complicated. Most of the time you just had to hope that whatever you did that found favour with one lot was enough to protect you from the ire of all the others you'd upset in the process. Or maybe that the gods had slightly better things to do than watch your every movement. Particularly the naked ones.

Of course there were those that might claim that there were no such thing as gods, but they were mostly just followers of Aethistocles, the god of doubt. There were other, saner scholars who questioned the existence of the church of Aethistocles. But that, the high priest would say as they sat back looking smug, was entirely the point.

Wednesday 8 June 2011

Doomcrawl Dungeon Chapter 11: Smash

"You see, the thing about a Greater Deathhulk is, they're really built for sieges rather than hand to hand combat" Maris explained to the Skittering Rat-Thing that sat next to him on the edge of the pit. He wasn't quite sure where the Rat-Thing had come from. Presumably it had followed him down from the upper levels.

"I mean, sure, they can obliterate pretty much anything in a single punch, but they're a little slow."

A great crash echoed up from the depths of the pit, as if to punctuate this statement

"Gk kggkgkg gk" chittered the Rat-Thing in agreement.

Tuesday 7 June 2011

Old The New School

So here we are at last. The big mid season finale. The last big hurrah before the interminable wait for the second half to kick off later this year. Of course, as Doctor Who fans one thing we've learnt to do is wait. Through hiatuses and cancellations we've honed our patience. So a matter of a few months should pose no serious problem. Right?

Well... Kind of. if nothing else it'll give us an extra period of wild speculation, rumor, and inevitably a couple of spoilers. So... thanks for that?

But enough rambling about the unknown future. What of the episode itself?

Thursday 2 June 2011

On Why Heresy Miniatures Is Clearly The Best Miniatures Company Of All Time.



LOLLYPOP LOLLYPOP LOLLYPOP LOLLYPOP LOLLYPOP LOLLYPOP LOLLYPOP LOLLYPOP LOLLYPOP LOLLYPOP LOLLYPOP LOLLYPOP LOLLYPOP LOLLYPOP LOLLYPOP LOLLYPOP

Seriously though, go buy their stuff. The minis are pretty cool as well.

Wednesday 1 June 2011

Gloat

Cliffhangers. If there's one thing we as Doctor Who fans love it's cliffhangers. The concept is deeply ingrained into the very fabric of Doctor Who.

Any excuse to use this pic

And one of the great things about this season is that we're getting some bonus ones. Whilst the 45 minute format has undeniably been successful, the limited number of 2 parters in each series has created something of a cliffhanger shortage. And whilst quality is obviously preferable over quantity it doesn't hurt to have a bit of both. Enter series 6. Can you believe that only 2 episodes in this half haven't ended on a massive cliffhanger? Isn't it absolutely MARVELLOUS?


And of course, this has been a cliffhanger that will live in legend. Who can honestly say that they saw that coming?

Doomcrawl Dungeon Chapter 10: Knotted

There were many bizarre sights to be seen in the depths of the dungeon. Strange and terrible things that sent men mad, dark and wonderful vistas that sung in the souls of those lucky enough to escape them.

The Unclean Rites Of Zod, where the Fungal Formless met to dance under unseen constellations and make sacrifice.... The Razordiamond Cavern, where light itself echoed from the shattering spires of crystal and the Golems that formed themselves from the cast off shrapnel.... The Altar Of Agromishaad, which no man had seen and lived, but which at least one woman had described as overrated....

The sight of a rather bemused looking Barbarian Warlord, tied up with what looked like measuring tape, being led around the traps, past the patrols and into the forbidden depths was, it had to be said, a new one.