Tuesday 22 February 2011

An Unfortunate Confluence Of Otherwise Unrelated Events

So yesterday I got some Mochi. For those of you who don't know, Mochi is a tasty snack product of glorious Nippon (BANZAI!). It is a sort of pale greyish white squidgy blob of tasty goodness.


The other thing I got yesterday was an Adipose stress toy. For those of you who don't know (shame on you) an Adipose is a cute little alien hideous lard monster from Doctor Who. It is a sort of pale greyish white squidgy blob of adorable alien horror.



It occurred to me later, as I sat with various squishy gelatinous products that perhaps it was not on sober reflection the best idea to have gotten these 2 disperate yet strangely similar items together, as they may begin to associate with each other in ones mind in ways that simply will not end well.

Either one comes to associate the Mochi with the Adipose and thinks of chewing on lumps of sentient lard every time you try to eat resulting in a profound sense of nausea, or on comes to associate the Adipose with the Mochi resulting the distinct possibility of chocking to death or at least needing a new form of stomach pump.

Either way, I have now decided to refer to my new toy as Mo-Chan. I like to live dangerously.


Saturday 19 February 2011

Project: Read Or Die - Chapter Five So Fish, And Thanks For All The Long

despite the fact that it has now been far to long since I actually managed to post anything I have not yet abandoned my stated goal of ongoing literary discourse, not indeed exhausted the supply of tomes purchased in it's furtherance. Indeed, whilst I would like to say that the interval was caused by my engaging in a somewhat lengthier tome than previously presented that would be somewhat disingenuous.

Once again I've been spending far to much time playing bloody Guild Wars as that's far easier, or at least more entertaining, than actually dealing with my life. Such as it is.

However, in between bouts of swearing loudly at dungeons I have been pursuing yet another book. Or 5 books, depending on how you look at it. Rather than launch into lengthy quotes in a misguided attempt at some sort of build up I'll just say that I have in fact been reading that wholly remarkable book, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy.

The COMPLETE Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy in fact.


All five tomes amalgamated into one complete, if rather bulkier tome. The convenience of getting all the stories in one place is only somewhat marred by the inconvenience of not really being able to fit it in ones pocket.

Still, what can I say about this set of tales that hasn't been said a thousand times before by more critics far more intelligent and lucid than I?

Sparfnargle gloompfnang omfranox klargynooit ftang ponjo gibble gabble coatrack.

I'm reasonably sure that few, if any, have ever said that about this or indeed any book before. I'm also reasonably sure that there is a fairly good reason this is so.

Anyway, let us press on. It may shock and appal you to know that I had never actually managed to read the Guide before this. When I was younger (back when dinosaurs ruled the earth, books ran on steam and we ate grit for breakfast) I did however have them (or at lest as many of them as were actually available at the time) on audiobook. So it's been quite interesting finally getting to all the parts that were obviously cut for time if nothing else. I could probably make some scathing remarks about jobs being done properly if they're worth doing at all here, but I am rather fond of those old audiobook versions, so I'm not going to. Indeed, whilst reading it was rather hard not to hear the text in the voice which I had thus come to associate with them. So I didn't. It seemed better that way.

Much has of course been said about Douglas Adams and his writings. Much of it, after finally experiencing them first hand for myself, I can believe. Yes, he's obviously a very clever, very witty man with some great story ideas that the art of novel writing does not come easily to. Yes, book one was clearly published halfway through, and The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe is very much the second half of one book as opposed to it's sequel. Yes, there are parts of Life, The Universe And Everything that seem to have come out of an unused Doctor Who script idea. None of these are bad things, simply facts as I see them, in the whole general mish mash of the story.

Of course, generally speaking the stories are wonderfully inventive and witty and great fun. But coming out of reading the whole series my impressions are rather coloured by the final tome. This was of course the one of greatest interest to me, as we never had that on audiobook, so I had no idea what to expect.

It is, as they say, a bit dark, isn't it? I can see why it was that someone decided it would be a good idea to write another volume (presumably via ouija board or some other sending courtesy of Great Yod) as the act of !SPOILERS! killing of all your characters in a rather depressing and futile way does make for a perhaps less than satisfying ending. Perhaps I'm just bitter that Fenchurch got written out offscreen before the book even started as I quite liked the character.
I suppose one could say that the book doesn't quite feel like it fits in with the rest of the series owing to this rather sharp tonal shift, and you'd almost be right except for the fact that it still does. Either way, it's written now, so it's not like there's anything that can be done about it. As much as we'd like to see our favorite characters have a happy life we all know deep down that that would make a rubbish story.

Perhaps I'll look up that dodgy sequel thing sometime. Even if I don't like it I can always distract myself by moaning about it at length and repeating the phrase "shameless cash in". That's always good for a laugh.

Anyway, what else can one say? These are books that quite deservedly have their place in history, and it will take nothing less than a fully armed Vogon constructor fleet to put any sort of dent in that legacy.

Well, there's that atrocious looking film version that clearly no right thinking person should ever watch.

But other than that. Classic stuff.