7 things Penguins have in common with unicorns

 
Wait, what?

Okay, fuck it. I like a challenge.

1. Both Penguins and Unicorns are considered to be cute, nice happy creatures. However it is true of both species that they would kill you as soon as look at you.


2. Penguins much like Unicorns were originally designed with large horns. However the Penguiins traded their horns to the Narwals in return for 1000 years servitude and an autographed set  of Moon Kana CD's.


3. Both species can be killed by a stake through the heart and decapitation. They can also be killed other ways, but those are generally less fun. Except the ones involving fire.


4. No matter what sort of noise they make THEY ARE ACTUALLY LAUGHING AT YOU.


5. Both Unicorns and Penguins may selected either Polearm or Greatsword Mastery as their racial feat at character generation. This is part of the reason they are so ANGRY.


6. Both species lay eggs, however only the Unicorns find this fact deeply confusing.


7. Neither species technically exists, although the Penguins have had much success in convincing mankind otherwise.