5 insane but true things about small green pieces of paper

1. Although widely considered by many to be quite happy, small green pieces of paper suffer from levels of existenial angst the likes of which your average depressed teenager can only dream.


2. The frequent movements of small green pieces of paper are due to several outstanding arrest warrants and the continuing pursuit of the FBI, rather than any genuine desire to see the world.


3. Small green pieces of paper are only able to achieve full sexual arousal in the hands of a dedicated and experienced origami master.


4. Some small green pieces of paper live in constant of fear of large white pieces of paper, which they claim originate from the planet Mars.


5. Despite what many people believe there are in fact no vegetarian small green pieces of paper.