I KNOW, RIGHT? A christian documentary arguing that Dinosaurs are actually Dragons? That's got to be hilarious. Shooting fish in the proverbial barrel right? Make for a great little blog post.
I would ask how wrong it's possible to be. But now I know. I know EXACTLY how wrong it's possible to be, and it's a lot wronger than I ever would have believed.
One of the things this documentary claims to do is challenge your beliefs. It has actually succeeded in this to a degree I never would have thought possible. Although not, I suspect, in the way the authors intended.
Now, I'm an atheist. But I've always considered myself rather chill about the whole thing. I'm not especially vocal about it. My opinion has always been that the evidence (or lack thereof) speaks for itself. And anyway, everyone has the right to be wrong, right?
And you know what? Maybe I was wrong about that. Maybe rather than politely waiting for religion to go extinct we should actually classify it is a mental illness. Because whilst you may well have the right to be wrong about stuff, NOBODY has the right to try and drag anyone else down with them. And above all else you simply do not get to lie about the evidence just because it does not suit you.
I think that's the main problem with this production (I simply cannot bring myself to dignify such a farce with the appellation of documentary). You could have some fun talking about the concept of Parsimony. You could address the numerous logical fallacies or self contradictory supporting statements. You could point out the lack of stated sources and supporting evidence. But then, whilst you're sat there formulating your witty response someone will come out and just flat out LIE about something or otherwise just make shit up. And that just makes me angry.
Believe it or not, I'm actually making this face RIGHT NOW.
So, to clarify: Yes, there are transitional fossils. LOADS OF THEM. No, the evolutionary history of the horse has not been discredited just because you don't like the fact it's one of the best known series of transitional forms in the fossil record. No, Biostratigraphy is a slightly more complicated than just making up the ages of strata because of how old you want the to be that day. No, the presence of collagen and other proteins in fossils does not mean they have blood cells or that the fossils are suddenly magically younger. Yes, structures can be vertically aligned in geographical strata thanks to complex geological phenomena such as tilting, folding, erosion or shit sometimes having holes in.
I MEAN, FUCKING SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE. Geology is not rocket science. Unless we're discussing meteorites with a planetary origin. Then it might be a bit. But that's rather outside the scope of our discussion here.
Unless I summon Jurrac Meteor.
It's actually really hard to construct any sort of coherent review of this trash, because my brain is just randomly crashing from one point of awfulness to another with little in the way of natural progression. But then that's kinda how the piece itself is put together. You're not actually constructing any sort of coherent argument and nothing seems to actually build on anything else that's said. They just cut from one person spouting opinions to another with ever really establishing a conclusion to what's just been said. Almost as if their just trying to bluster their way through the proceedings without giving the viewer enough time to really think about everything that's wrong with what they just said.
FUNNY THAT, ISN'T IT?
I mean, I get that's how these things generally work. Just push on, keep going and don't really give anyone time to properly consider anything. Which works fine when preaching to the target audience of those who are really just looking for something to agree with their already held beliefs as they don't really care, and equally well with the evil evolutionist enemy as by the time they've managed to overcome their stunned momentary confusion at how utterly misguided everything you've just said actually is you've already moved on to something else equally baffling.
PROTIP: a discussion is not actually a race.
Seriously though, where do sign up to join the Evil Evolutionist Enemy? It sounds great, doesn't it? E.E.E. We could get T shirts with scary monkeys or something. Is there like a form I can fill out or something? Because there's something I'D REALLY like to know. What IS the Evil Evolution Agenda exactly?
This is what science does now. Apparently.
Because these guys seem really sure there is one. That we're just making up the geological age of the earth and the theory of evolution is all a big lie because apparently Charles Darwin was secretly Doctor Doom?
Seem here studying the rare Latvarian Death-Finch.
What, exactly, is the secret evolutionist conspiracy actually about? What's the end game? Apparently it can't just be a desire to understand how the world works, or even appreciation for the amazing majesty of the natural world. So what is it they're actually up to? I mean, even the lizardmen have some sort of goal in mind, even if it's only to kill Spiderman.
I have no idea why I'm using so much Marvel stuff, but you can't deny it isn't appropriate.
Of course, that's another bit of hilarious awfulness. (No, not Stegron.) See, you can't trust those pesky Evolutionists or their blasphemous science / witchcraft (the two terms are apparently interchangable). UNLESS they're saying something that you can misquote or take out of context. At which point they suddenly become a credible source? I'm not sure if there is a comic book villain who is literally MADE OF LIES, but if there was I doubt there would be a story where the hero get's them to testfy in court on their behalf and then everything is great. Because that would be too stupid even for comics. Although it's perhaps worth noting that apparently comics have a better handle on how science actually works than the so called scientists on display here.
I mean, cancer is LIKE a superpower, right?
There's this brilliant section where we have 2 guys talking about radiometric dating. One saying how it totally doesn't work at all because reasons. And the other saying how it totally DOES work, only they discovered that the decay of readioactive elements sped up for a bit at some unspecified point in the past so that it only LOOKS like the earth is millions of years old. He never actually bothers to mention when this happened. Or more importantly HOW. Which is a shame because something like that would be fairly significant. I mean, can you imagine the potential applications in fields of power generation and waste disposal if you had a proven mechanism for altering the half life of radioactive isotopes?
No, of course not. Because that would be some incredibly far reaching shit. We could only guess at what would be possible.
Shame he's not sharing the discovery, eh?
Now I've only just realized that we have yet to get around to discussing the central theme of this production: That Dinosaurs were actually Dragons or something. Sorry about that, but you have to understand that I'm currently blasting the entire Anaal Nathrakh discography at full volume in an effort to calm down after sitting though nearly an hour and a half of purely distilled bullshit and ignorance so thick you beat a whale to death with it.
This is quite literally as close to thinking happy thoughts as I can get right now.
So, here's the thing: Geomythology is actually a really interesting subject. If you'd like a better idea of what it's actually about I can recommend a book called The First Fossil Hunters. The basic idea is simply that Fossils weren't actually unknown to humanity before the establishment of the science of Palaeontology. People found fossils back in the mists of time, and their attempts to explain them provide a foundation for many myths and legends. And there is some intriguing evidence for this. Even the most outlandish stories have some basis after all, despite whatever embellishments they may later receive. It's just that they didn't receive much in the way of formal, scientific study until quite recently. So in a very real sense Dinosaurs are not Dragons, but Dragons are actually Dinosaurs.
The problem we have here though is that the production is not attempting an overview of the connections between mythology and fossils, but rather seeking to prove that humans and dinosaurs lived together.
Pictured: Human beings living harmoniously with Therapod Dinosaurs.
Yeah..... Sorry but no. Are there all sorts of interestingly Dinosaur shaped things depicted on a variety of ancient artefacts? Actually, yes there are. Is this an interesting thing worthy of discussion and investigation? Absolutely. Does this mean Dinotopia is actually a historical documentary? Well, no. Not remotely. Now, I know that you religious types have some difficulty in distinguishing between stories and real life....
Perhaps consulting this handy diagram may help.
..But thing is, Pickman's Model wasn't actually a true story. How could ancient people possibly know what a Dinosaur looked like without seeing it first hand? Same way everyone else does. You look at the bones, you look at the way animals are put together and you GUESS. I have a whole bunch of Dinosaur models, and I'm pretty sure nobody over at Scheich or wherever had to go get chased through tracts of mysterious jungle by prehistoric monsters before they were allowed to start making toys. What's especially interesting from some of the examples shown is just how susceptible to the same sort of biases as modern and historical reconstructions these depictions are. They love to trot out a parade of sauropod-like silhouettes doing all kinds of interesting things with their necks. But there's still actually some debate on the whole idea of the swan-like neck position. Issues like blood pressure and heart size or whether or not the bones actually even allow for such a posture.
Hmmm, short, dragging tail, large head, short neck, forelimbs of equal length to hindlimbs, lack of thagomizer... My god, IT WAS DRAWN FROM THE LIFE!!
So, no. I don't see ANY evidence a human has ever met a living Dinosaur. But I do see quiet a bit that indicates they have encountered Dinosaur remains. And were duly impressed.
Here's another example they bring up that I feel compelled to address.
This is a sketch allegedly made from the descriptions of an Australian Aborigine back in the day. The program makes the point that this compares well with a Hadrosaur. And thus this is clearly evidence that said gentleman met a duckbilled dinosaur whilst on walkabout or something. At which point it apparently attacked him. They mention specifically how the dude apparently had these big claw marks. Which is all well and good, but Hadrosaurs don't actually HAVE claws. The hands are wrapped up in what has been described as a fleshy mitten. They were if anything tending towards an almost hoof like structure. Hadrosaurs deal more in crushing damage than slashing or piercing, making them the Clerics of the mesozoic party. Sauropods were probably the Paladins, Dromeosaurs were Rogues and I should really stop this analogy before get carried away. Point is I doubt Australia is capable of supporting a viable population of any large Dinosaurs. Mainly because the spiders would probably get them.
So.... yeah. That's the argument. Humans and Dinosaurs clearly coexisted because there some ancient sources saying someone might have seen something vaguely dinosaur shaped once, and we should totally trust what those guys said, because nobody has ever exaggerated or lied about something to seem cool.
On an unrelated note, I am probably the best person at sex ever, mostly thanks to my prodigious genitalia which guarantees fantastic orgasms even as it rends the very flesh from your bones.
Of course the unavoidable question here is that if, for example, the Native American legends of Thunder Birds are so reliable why it these people don't immediately drop the whole Christianity thing and head straight for the nearest medicine lodge to commune with Wolf or something? I mean, if the ancient tribal intel is so reliable and all. Clearly these so called scientists couldn't just be cherry picking bits and pieces they think supports their own view and ignoring LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE.
This is why nobody takes you seriously, Creationists. You don't get to pick & choose. I know that's what you have to do to try and get any sort of coherency out of your silly book. At least the sort that doesn't involve dressing in a sack and setting all the women on fire for the crime of having vaginas or whatever. But that's not how science actually works. And you REALLY don't get to do that whilst decrying everyone else for allegedly engaging in whatever logical fallacies and cognitive biases YOU are currently displaying. Religion simply has no right to accuse ANYONE of engaging in circular logic. That's the whole basis of your misguided reasoning in the first place! How is it you know the bible is the true an inerrant word of god? BECAUSE IT SAYS SO IN THE BIBLE.
Possibly the single most scathing critique of the concept of religion I've ever heard is, simply this sketch from, of all things, the Goon Show:
I've never really gotten the whole militant atheist thing before now. But then that's because I don't actually have to deal with people like this on a day to day basis. I've always held that religious belief is fairly damaging, but I've never really been confronted with just how bad it can be. These people need help. But what they're doing here... This is intellectual vandalism. It's frankly unconscionable.
I wish I had more to say in conclusion here, but the fact is I'm just tired. The anger has run out and all I'm left with is a strange hollow sadness. Science is a tool for understanding. It's the best we've yet devised, and it works remarkably well. Sometimes we might make mistakes, sure. But the whole process is designed to correct for those and allow us to understand them. Understanding is not a bad thing. The natural world is an amazing and majestic thing, without any need for resorting to supernatural explanations. Indeed, the fact that you can have something this grand, this majestic operating out of nothing but understandable natural principles is amazing. Some people see science as taking away from this sense of wonder, but that's really not true. Understanding only ADDS to the appreciation. It's people like those who made this video that are trying to take away from that. Who are trying to deny our understanding, thinking that if they shout loud enough they can just ignore the fundamental principles of reality. The problem is that they are not content to simply squat in their own ignorance, but are actively trying to deny understanding to others. To diminish the beauty of nature, to take away the grand complexity of the universe and reduce it down to some dark little box stuffed with the dusty scribblings of ignorance and superstition.
Don't let them.
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