X & Violence Part 4: Taking The Shark For A Walk

So, I managed to achieve a couple of things last time. I managed to retain a mostly positive tone when discussing something. And thing that I was discussing was one of the key titles involved I finally convincing me to actually buy a new console. There are a few of these as you might imagine. And I haven't gotten all of them yet. But today i'd like to talk about another one of them. And this time I don't think I'm going to be able to be QUITE as positive overall.

So, let's talk about The Force Unleashed.

This is, when I think about it, probably the most important single title in persuading me to get an xbox. Because this was the one that was available for the wii anyway, but I figured would be better on a different system. And whilst the simple fact that games do not necessarily port well onto the wii was a consideration, a larger one was the DLC bonus content. See, whilst the main game purported to tell the story of Vaders secret apprentice that nobody had ever heard off before and politely never even mentioned afterwards, the bonus levels take place in an alternate version of Star Wars where the apprentice kills Vader and takes over from him as the Emperors bitch. This sounded really interesting to me. Imagine my delight when I discovered the existence of the Ultimate Sith Edition, featuring all the bonus stuff. So I eventually managed to track a copy down on ebay, and set to work.

Plus, in the bonus levels you look like this.

Now I suppose really there are two major areas to be discussed, that of story and gameplay. Let's do gameplay first.

As it is The Force Unleashed isn't really a bad game. It can be really fun in places. But it can also be massively not fun in others, and isn't without it's bugs. But I only fell through the floor of the Death Star and asphyxiated to death in the cold vacuum of space two or three times really, so we'll let that slide for the moment.

The basic idea of the gameplay is fantastic: Run around the place with amped up force powers beating the crap out of everything. How can you get that wrong? Mostly through little things. Sudden difficulty spikes, problems targeting, flakey blocking, an overabundance of enemies immune to pretty much all your force powers and the old classic, lying on the floor doing nothing until the enemy kill you. Do you know how long it takes a rocket trooper to reload and fire his missile launcher? Just slightly less time than it takes you to stand back up after getting hit by one. I don't mind getting killed so much if I least have the opportunity to do something whilst I wait for my life to run out. Such as trying to NOT die.

Then there's all those force immune bad guys. The major problem here isn't so much that they're there at all. It just that they're immune to pretty much ALL your force powers. They have shields to absorb force lightning, don't fall over when you hit them with force push and can't be picked up with force grip. And they appear just when you've finally levelled up enough that your force powers are just getting good. Which kinda spoils thing a little as you just have to charge in and beat everything to death with your lightsaber. This is not entirely unentertaining it must be said, but the game isn't called the Lightsaber Bludgeoning Massacre Unleashed, is it?

Although to be fair that sounds like a pretty bitching game.

Then there's the blocking. When you attack an enemy that can block, they do it pretty much instantly. When the enemy attacks you and you try to block they get two or three hits in easily before your character finally raises his guard. Maybe the trigger buttons aren't best suited to what should theoretically be a snap action, or maybe I just suck at it. But then you have the fact that whilst a boss becomes essentially invulnerable when charging a force power all yours are interruptable .by pretty much anything. Which really isn't helpful when you need to force lob something at a rocket launcher. The boss battles are somewhat variable, but those that stand out do so as being irritating rather than awesome.

Which is a shame, because as I said the game can be really fun in places. When you've got enemies you can actually use your force powers on and you aren't being continually interrupted and knocked down by snipers from off camera the combat can be a real blast.

One of the real missed opportunities is the whole light side / dark side thing. This should, in the ideal Star Wars game be an ongoing thing that effects both gameplay and story options. Do you go and assassinate a jedi, or rescue them from the encroaching imperial forces? Do you blast everything with force lightning or... um... do a jedi thing? Anyway, point is it would have been nice to see something a little more developed than picking which annoying boss fight you want to do right at the end.

So, the gameplay is flawed, but not without it's moments. But what about the story?

Oh dear, the story.

There is one simple mistake that every single Star Wars game makes, and it's one that I don't think anyone has actually realised is a mistake, let alone that they could maybe not do it. They all have to be canon. Every game has to count. It has to have actually happened. Why is this a mistake? Well, let me ask you a question: Who stole the Death Star plans? How many times? Was it Rebel spies? Kyle Katarn? That Twi'lek bint from that other game?

Does it even matter since apparently the founding leadership of the Rebel alliance were given a guided tour shortly before being rescued by an ex Imperial intelligence operative who apparently had a complete map of the place anyway?!?!?!

Yeah, sorry about that. Now, having the last level set on the Death Star is undoubtedly an advantage for the GAME, as it's about a Star Warsy location as you can get. It makes the game feel like Star Wars. But in terms of the story? It's a fucking nightmare. Never mind the whole triple bluff backstab treachery scheme whereby the Emperor arranges for half his own shit to get blown up and apparently starts the rebel alliance himself just to see who would join. HINT: It's the ones who were ALREADY speaking out against you in senate. Where's your precious foresight now old man?

Basically the plot makes no sense, adds nothing but confusion to the overall setting really could have been one a whole better by doing almost anything else.

Let me see if i've got this straight. Darth Vader raises an apprentice in secret to help him kill the Emperor. Except when the Emperor finds out he betrays the apprentice except he doesn't because that was just to fool the Emperor except actually it's part of the Emperors cunning plan to start a rebellion against himself, only not from Darth Vader who was never actually going to do that in the first place?

Gotta say, that's some forsight on Vaders part. Raising a child for all those years just in case the Emperor came up with a RETARDED PLAN THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. Seriously, the rebellion didn't need to be inspired by the heroic actions of a man they must never mention again. They don't need to be lured into it by a stupid evil plan. They were going to do it anyway because the Emperor is massive dick.

Or possibly a  nut sack.

However there is at least one great thing in the story, and that's PROXY. This is the Apprentices loyal droid, who assists in his training by trying to kill him at every opportunity. Loyally. Seriously, all the best scenes are the ones in which PROXY is apologising to his master for failing to kill him. In fact, since the droid is a holographic mimic he's not just the best character in the game, but ALL of the best characters. This is a neat bit of character building and shows us how fucked up the whole dark side training thing is. The apprentices best buddy is a droid that is programmed to kill him. And they actually GET ALONG.

So, basically the story sucked balls. But what about those bonus levels I talked about earlier? Well I gotta be honest with you, there are some issues there. But overall they were my favourite part of the game.

The problem is simply that the bonus levels are not integrated into the main game at all. You start pretty much maxed out with everything unlocked, which is nice and all. But it would have been nice to carry over your progress from the main game. The Tattoine and Hoth levels are great fun, and have an instant advantage over most other Star Wars games in that they're actually set IN Star Wars. Albeit a slightly different version where the new dark lord of the sith is taking a rather more proactive approach. So they instantly have a distinctly Star Warsy feel. The Tattoine level gives you some fun achievements to do like feeding Jawas into a giant grinder under Jabbas palace, but curiously there are none at all for the Hoth level. Which is a shame as maybe then they could have made it so you could cut off a Wampas arm and then beat it to death with it's own bloody severed appendage.

Or am I the only one who really wants to do that?

Now, I admit I've been pretty hard on the game here. It's not awful but it really should have been better. And whilst hinsight is always the best kind of sight I did have one thought that would have improved the whole thing immensely. And I'm not even talking about a level where you just kill Gungans.

No. Just think for a moment what it might have been like if rather that having this new apprentice character you instead got to play as Darth Vader for the whole thing. With a proper light side / dark side mechanic in place. So you get to stomp around being the baddest of asses, hunting down the last of the Jedi if someone's going to insist on a canonical storyline. Or you could fight against the Emperors machinations and seek your own redemption. Or maybe just kill the Emperor and rule the galaxy on your own. the choices you make as you play affect what levels you play in what order, changing the enemies and objectives. Just think what it would be like for Darth Vader to be cool again, free from the oppressive shackles of an overly complicated continuity.