So, it's been a while since I've managed to write anything here. One could almost say I've been on hiatus. except of course that a Doctor Who fan can never use that word without an involuntary shiver of dread. Not to mention the fact that I have, sadly, not been recast as Sylvester McCoy.
So, you know... Sorry about that.
The fact of the matter is simply that I am a man with certain... Issues. And these issues have been, by and large, getting the better of me lately. So in order to get myself writing again, and maybe have a go at working out some shit in my head, let's have a talk about Video Game Addiction.
I have a problem with games. I freely admit this. It seems like all I do these days is sling the xbox on when I get in from work and just play games until bedtime. On the weekends I can play all day. Just keep grinding away at a game for 12 hours at a time, and it's not even a given that I'll actually ENJOY the experience. Which you'd think would be the whole point.
I'm not exaggerating there either. I quite literately got up one Saturday and played Oblivion for 12 hours straight. And afterwards I could only describe the experience to myself as "what the fuck did I just do?".
The thing however that often get's overlooked in these sort of discussions is that video games themselves are not addictive. They can be compelling, certainly. That can be habit forming in both positive and negative ways. But to describe them, in and of themselves as addicting is to completely miss the point. It does a severe disservice not just to the medium of games, but more importantly to those who are suffering with these sort of problems.
The crux of the matter is, it has to be said, fairly fucking obvious. You don't form some sort of habitual dependency on a video game because it's transmitting subliminal mind crack designed to cause the collapse of civilisation. You do it because you have problems that you don't know how to deal with, and gaming offers you an escape. This is, I'd imagine, fairly similar to the reasons people initially become dependant on many of the chemical based intoxicants. It should however be noted that gaming is not nearly as physically damaging as some of the stuff people like to pump themselves full off.
You can see right there the sort of problem that it can offer though. Here I am essentially trying to defend it by comparing it to something worse. Yeah, some things can worse, but that doesn't mean that anything better is automatically good. Marginally less shit is still SHIT, however you slice it.
Being this dependant on anything is bad. If you find yourself doing anything to the detriment of other important areas of your life then it's a PROBLEM. But it's important to understand WHY it's become such a problem. Because there come a point where rather than providing any relief from whatever it is that's getting to you, you find that you're just making things worse. You need to try and step away from this crutch that you've built for yourself and try to do something about getting your goddamn legs fixed.
It's surprisingly difficult to write this. Perhaps because it's personal. Perhaps because I am, in effect, telling myself things I simply don't want to hear.
I honestly don't know if there is any way that I can deal with the shit that goes on in my head in any conclusive fashion. I've lost count of the years now, and it doesn't seem to ever let up. Depression is, amongst other things, utter bullshit. But it's bullshit you need to learn to deal with in some fashion. And trying to just blot it out by playing games isn't dealing. It's simply postponement
The thing is I really LIKE games on a lot of levels. They can be great fun to play and to think about. And that's why I don't want to be a games addict. Because when your acting like an addict you're not doing a thing because you enjoy it. You're doing it because you don't know what else to do.
I don't have any real conclusions to draw here. I don't have any answers or solutions. Hell, I barely have a coherent set of paragraphs. I just have a need to try and work some stuff out and this seemed like the place to do it. Kinda like writing it all in a diary, except with a better chance of nobody ever reading it.
With any luck something approaching normal service will resume shortly. In the meantime the management apologizes for their continued existence.
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