You didn't think I was doing all this for FUN did you?
Having read through the rules everything looks like it should be fairly straightfoward. Which is just as well since I'm doing this on my own. Still, the rules do say you can do single player, the behavioural rules lending a certain sense of auto-pilot. Should be interesting finding out anyway. Although it's worth noting that I'm not exactly going to be unbiased in a game of humans vs dinos.
Anyway, next step is to pick out 2 teams to pit against each other. I decided to do a human vs dinosaur scenario, using the capture the egg scenario in the rulebook. Luckily I'd already written a spreadsheet for generating the necessary character cards, so it was just a case of seeing how many points of humans I had and then trying to match it with an appropriate selection of huge carnivorous bastards.
Supplies for the coming battle
Keeping 2 stands of humans back in case the Jeeps get nerfed I came up with 43 points of dudes who I have dubbed Team Scrotum, for reasons that should be obvious to anyone interested in paleontology.
Make your own damn bone joke, I'm busy.
Then I added a bunch of my favourite Carnivores together to come up with a Team Dino. Carnotaurus, Carcharadontosaurus, Baryonyx and a stand of Deinonychus came to 47 points. As I said, I'm not without biases, and anyway, that's close enough without an awful lot of mucking about trying to get everything exact. Then all that remains was to set up the table.
River with a ford running across the middle, various trees, cycads and other plants scattered around and a couple of areas of cover just in case. All looks great. It's time to deploy!
The humans line up on the southern edge of the table.
A Carcharadontosaurus and Carnotaurus nurse their nests, possibly wondering how it is they haven't killed each other yet.
A Baryonyx attends it's eggs whilst a pack of Deinonychus watches from the undergrowth.
Overall deployment at the start of the game. The wind is blowing from Northwest to Southeast.
TURN 1
Having won the initiative, team scrotum begin their advance up towards the Dinosaur nesting ground. The jeeps are able to make it almost to the ford, but need to wait for the riflemen to catch up. They pass the time taking a idle potshots at the distant form of a Carcharadontosaurus. No way that could possibly backfire horribly. Luckily for them they do not manage to anger the beast. Yet.
The unfamiliar noises do however pique the interest of the nesting carnivores, some of whom move forward to see how this strange new sound will add to their food supply.
Carcharadontosaurus moves up to an ambush position behind some bushes whilst the Bayonyx hangs back to defend it's nest. Or possibly it's too busy picking out baby names.
The Carnotaurus lurks behind a large cycad, wondering how long it will be until it get's to headbutt something to death.
Turn 1 is now over, nothing exciting happening so far, but it's only a matter of time...
TURN 2
The Dinosaurs win the initiative this turn, and thus move first. Displaying either a viscious animal cunning or remarkable lack of interest, they generally elect to wander back towards the nests. With the only exception being the Baryonyx who, having finally settled on Diedre as a suitable name for hatchlings finally wanders forward to see what all the fuss was about. The Deinonychus bide their time, hiding in the undergrowth.
The Dinosaurs indifference almost cuts deeper than their terrible fangs. Almost...
Time for humanity to go on the offensive. The jeeps begin to make the difficult river crossing as the riflemen take positions on the southern bank. The plan is simple, the Jeeps will make a dash for the nests, grab an egg and then retreat whilst the riflemen provide covering fire. With the targets in range the huntsmen decide to open fire. What could possibly go wrong?
The first group of riflemen let loose a volley at the exposed Carcharadontosaurus, scoring a minor critical. The next group do even better, scoring a minor and major critical. The 3rd group follow this up by inflicting a mortal wound! The mighty Dinosaur is now almost certainly doomed to die.
It is also now VERY angry.
The Jeeps follow up the initial fusillade with some fire of their own, inflicting yet more wounds. It's not looking good for the mighty carnivore, but I guess that's what you get having a pathetic defense score of 3.
And so at the end of turn 2 the humans are poised to strike and the largest Dinosaur is doing it's best swiss cheese impression. Things are not looking great for the saurians right now. Can they counter attack?
TURN 3
Team Scrotum once again win the initiative, proving that whilst we can't make any definitive judgements on speed, red ones certainly roll higher. Time to advance. The Jeeps accelerate fowards, towards the centre nest. The riflemen seem quite content where they are, and failing to spot the lurking Baryonyx once more take aim at the ailing Carcharadontosaurus.On the bright side, if he dies at least I won't have to type that name out any more.
Another major critical and mortal wound is inflicted by 2 of the rifleman units, but in a shocking display of finally rolling a 1 the 3rd one misses completely. Of course, with 2 mortal wounds it's touch and go if the poor Carcharadontosaurus will manage anything once it's actually his go. But on the bright side at least the Jeeps are too busy nicking his eggs to join in with the attack.
Not yet succumbing to it's wounds, the Carcharadontosaurus nevertheless takes a blow to it's up to now steely resolve. But it's alive, and ready for action of some sort. I'd actually totally forgotten to roll it's panic test for the last turn. But since it's panic score was both high and about the only thing it hadn't actually taken damage to up until now we'll just pretend it passed and move on.
With a mighty bellow the beast turns about and charges the nearest Jeep! Inspired by this sudden rush of violence the Carnotaurus and Bayonyx leap to attack the second Jeep, whilst the wily Deinonychus finally spring their ambush.
This is not generally considered a good place to be.
The Carcharadontosaurus barrels in, jaws snapping with the bestial fury of a whole buttload of attack modifiers.
Oh, goddamnit.
Well, that could have been better. But nevertheless he still manages to score a major and minor critical on the egg thief, inflicting a mortal wound in return for those he's already suffered. And if a vehicle suffers a mortal wound then it is replaced with a stand of humans with pistols apparently. This isn't going to get confusing at all...
This is, if anything, actually an even worse place to be.
Then it's time for the deadly Deinonychus to complete their ambush, charging into the unit formally known as Jeep with a terrifying tide of claws and...
I believe the word you're looking for is "FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU......"
REALLY? Ye gods, if weren't for the ridiculous amount of combat modifiers no one would be able to hit anything. I'm assuming that they still get their ambush bonus even though the unit has changed somewhat. Anyway, a critical is scored, reducing the hapless humans defence.
Next up is the Carnotaurus, exhilarated at the prospect of finally headbutting something he charges the remaining Jeep. With a mighty howl he....
WAT. TEH. FURK?
You really can't make this shit up. It's just as well I'm playing against myself here, it's the only way I have any chance of winning. Anyway, thanks to the bonuses for charging, size and the like that's still a minor and major critical on the Jeep, but only just. The minor hit just scratches the paintwork. The major...
Kills the Jeep outright. Boom. Headshot. As in you've just been shot WITH a head. The triumphant Carnotaurus lets out a howl of triumph, wreathed in smoke and flame and presenting a truly demonic image of prehistoric might. The Baryonyx meanwhile looks rather confused as it's intended target has just ragdolled across the map thanks to the Carnotaurus getting lucky with it's crit roll.
The surviving Jeep crew passed their panic test, and so get to stay in place, surrounded by huge angry carnivores. Lucky them. The humans have lost their speed advantage, but the Dinosaurs biggest unit is on it's last legs. Let's see how the next turn goes shall we?
TURN 4
With the loss of Jeeps the human plan has taken a major blow. Do they advance to try and grab the eggs on foot? Or hang bag and try take the murderous saurians down with rifle fire first?And more importantly, having lost the initiative, will there be enough of them left to try either?
Things look up for the mammals at the start of the turn as the mighty Carcharadontosaurus finally succumbs to it's wounds and dies. The Baryonyx finally decides to do something useful, charging the humans on the opposite shore and just barely making it into base contact. The Carnotaurus can't quite manage a charge thanks to the difficult terrain of the ford, and so begins to advance, gathering speed for another charge next turn. The Deinonychus are quite happy where they are as there is already a variety of screaming meat on hand.
Despite their enthusiasm the Deinonychus only manage a minor critical on the humans they're currently engaged with. Despite it's good intentions the Baryonyx is unable to penetrate the humans defenses, and achieves nothing. And the humans from the Jeep still refuse to panic.
The remaining humans attempt to regroup and prepare for the oncoming wrath of the Carnotaurus. Those units struggling in close combat fail to inflict any serious damage, but the unengaged riflemen take aim on the Bayonyx and fire, scoring a major wound on the creature and reducing it's attack. I guess they shot it in the teeth? That's gotta hurt.
TURN 5
Once again invoking the power of the red die to actually roll high on occasion, the humans win the initiative. Although who knows if this will actually do them much good?Electing not to bother moving we head straight for the combat phase. The unit engaged with the Deinonychus roll about as well as we've come to expect, and achieve nothing. Those riflemen desperately attempting to fight off the attacking Bayonyx score a minor critical, but the Dinosaur passes it's panic test and remains poised to stick it's hideously be-clawed proverbial boot in next round. Then the riflemen open up with another volley, but only manage to score a single minor wound.
And now is the time for the wailing and gnashing of teeth upon the tender flesh of the aforementioned wailers
The Carnotaurus charges across the ford, just making into combat with the hapless Riflemen, but rather fails to replicate his earlier success, managing only a minor critical. The Deinonychus manage another minor critical on their opponents, but the humans still refuse to panic and run. The Baryonyx matches this rather less than spectacular performance, and the turn counter clicks inexorably forward.
TURN 6
The dinosaurs win this critical initiative, if only to prove that the white die can sometime roll high as well. And thus we launch straight into combat. The Deinonychus renew their assault upon the hapless egg thieves, and finally someone fails a panic test and turns to flee. However thanks to the crippling leg wounds inflicted they don't actually manage to get very far.
RUN AWAY!
Proving once more a startling lack of original thought the Baryonyx also elects to go for the shins, although these humans are apparently made of sterner stuff. This cannot be said of those who are currently confronted with a rampaging Carnotaurus however, who break under the ferocius assault and flee straight off the table.
RUN FURTHER AWAY!
It's not looking good for the forces of humanity. But then, when does it ever?
The fleeing Jeep crew manage to rally at the start of their turn, and begin limping back towards the ford. Faced with a variety of unpleasant scenarios the remaining riflemen elect to stand and fire rather than risk taking a Carnotaurus in the rear, and thus combat begins. Those engaged with the Baryonyx once more prove that it's inadvisable to bring a gun to a Dinosaur fight, and the tattered remnants of the Jeep crew fair no better with their pistols. Those brave few who are standing their ground and shooting score a major critical on the Carnotaurus, slowing it down but not stopping it as it passes it's panic test with ease. Things are looking pretty bleak for humanity, and the next turn may well be the last.
TURN 7
The Dinosaurs win the initiative. This should, with any luck, be messy.Shocking absoutely no one, the Carnotaurus elects to charge the nearest unit of riflemen, the Deinonychus continue their pursuit of the succulent Jeep crew and the Baryonyx stays put and flails about.
The Deinonychus charge in and positively shred the Jeep crew for 1 minor and 2 major criticals. Quite how any of them are left standing after that I'm not sure, but they once again break and start hobbling in the direction of away. Unfortunately for them there's a stretch of difficult terrain in that direction. Not to mention more Dinosaurs. Sadly the Baryonyx doesn't seem to be getting the hang of this whole combat thing, possibly because it's more used to hunting fish than monkies with guns. Anyway, it achieves nothing useful. the Carnotaurus manages to score a hit, but despite reducing their panic stat with the attack the humans refuse to run away.
The fleeing humans keep fleeing, and those fighting the Baryonyx fail miserably. But those brave souls engaged with the Carnotaurus do much better, scoring a minor and major critical. However the enraged beast refuses to be dissuaded and continues his assault. It seems we have another turn to go.
Turn 8
Once again the Dinosaurs win initiative. The Deinonychus charge into the fleeing Jeep crew again and finally put them out of their misery in a whirlwind of razor sharp claws and critical hits. The Bayonyx once more lays in and manages to score another hit, and this time the humans turn to flee. The Carnotaurus manages a similar performance, causing a minor critical but forcing his opponents to flee in terror.
RUN AWAY MORE!
At the begining of their turn one of the human units rallies, but the others flee off the board. I think we can call this a win for the Dinosaurs, don't you?
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