[old blog import] mary

mary had a little lamb
it's teeth as sharp as knives
it hunts about the moors and fens
taking many lives

mary had a little lamb
it's claws are long and sharp
to leap upon the screaming prey
and quickly pierce the heart

mary had a little lamb
its eyes are quick and keen
it sees the children where they hide
and comes before they scream

mary had a little lamb
a taste for human flesh
the babies bubble in the pot
for mary cooks them best

mary had a little man
to whip and pierce and beat
and when the fun and bleedings done
she chops him up for meat

why yes, I do have issues. why do you ask?

[old blog import] It's like shitting africa.

So then, a review of the weeks culinary escapades

Saturday: Zebra steak with cracked black peppers, sea salt and pink pink peppercorns. Served with swwet potato wedges, onion rings and garlic mushrooms.

Monday: Ostrich is spicy chilli stir fry.

Tuesday: Camel and chips.

Wednesday: Crocodile cooked with soy sauce, sticky rice and miso.

Thursday: cajun style Kangaroo with sweet potato wedges.

Friday: Wildebeest, wedges, onion rings, garlic mushrooms.

All in all and interesting experiment. The various meats ranged from the rather fucking tasty to the fairly meh, but only the camel didn't really impress. The crocodile I admit could have come out better, but I couldn't just slap EVERYTHING in the grill with a bit of spice now could I? Kangaroo and Ostrich were rather good, as were the Zebra and Wildebeest. All in all I guess it does depend on your culinary skills, something I personally lack. But I didn't manage to make any of it inedible. Which, considering the prices, was something of a relief.

The question I suppose is would I do it again? The answer is probably yes. There are, after all, far more animals that I haven't eaten than I have, and it's good to try new things. It's not something I'd do often however, as whilst variety may be the spice of life it is also the scourge of the wallet. In all honesty you get do it with a decent bit of conventional meat, but where's the fun in that?

Part of the attraction for this kind of thing is simply being able to say you've done it. And I have.

Lucky fucking me, eh?

[old blog import] Just think about it for a second.

I got some new piercing rings through the post today, as i'm intending on redoing some of my jewllery.

The packaging displays the somewhat baffling message "NOT intended for internal cavity use".

Never mind the practicality or hygine of such an arrangement. It's the logistics of the operation that are scaring me.

I mean, why would you? Seriously.

[old blog import] The Horror

I just cleaned my keyboard.

It's only a t times like that this that you come to truly appreciate what a disgusting pile of nauseating filth you actually are.

Seriously, eeew.

[old blog import] one flu over the cockoos nest

I just took a piss and it smelled like ham.

do i have the pig AIDS now?

oh noez.

[old blog import] Down In The Park

Well, that was fun.

Tonight was Gary Numan in concert, and I do have to say that a good time was had by all.

Support came in the form of Dirty Harry, who have some fairly decent rock and roll, and some very nice panties. But I digress.

Numan came on and blasted through the set fairly relentlessly, with only the occaisional quite "thnk you very much" spoken in between songs. All sorts of stuff was played, both old and new, and it all rocked pretty hard, complemented by a rather nifty (if somewhat dazzling) light show.

What was particularly great about this gig was the attitude of the man himself. Put simply, he appeared to be having a wonderful time, and thats great to see in an artist.

I could probably try and recall some particular highlights, but they played so many songs that I really like that it seems kind of pointless.

Fun times anyway. Which is good, since this was not an inexpensive gig to get tickets for. But worth it in the end I think.

[old blog import] Oh Thursday, how I love thee. Let me count the ways...

Of all the multitudinous things in life that I truly hate (see also everything) Thursday is pretty high on the list. I have discussed at some length before many of the reasons why, so I won't go into them here.

So, imagine my suprise when some random quiz thing I was doing on facebook told me that something good would happen next thursday! I mean, we all know that I.P. based horroscopes are the most accurate right?

So anyway, thursday rolls around. Let's see all the good things that happened.

My internet died completely for the entire day

I felt slightly more awful than I usually do.

My D&D game was cancelled for the THIRD week in a row.

The replacement strike witches DVD that turned up proved to be just as fucked as the previous copy.

No tall dark strangers which is probably for the best, I'd rather have a short cute one anyday), no fortunes, no romance, nothing like that.  at all.

So yeah, thursday blows once again. Suprise.

[old blog import] Are You Zappa'd?

So yeah, a little late but I did go to see Zappa Plays Zappa the other night. I normally write up on these events a little sooner, but I was properly fucked afterwards. Bad baguette or something, who knows?

But anyway!

Dweezil Zappa playing old Frank Zappa songs. Awesome event, or overhyped covers band? I guess that some could make the argument that this is just a way of cashing in on his dad's legacy. However I think I'll disagree with that, mainly on the basis that there are about a million easier ways of making a living than actually learning to play the guitar as well as Frank fucking Zappa.

And play he does. The guy has clearly got some talent going on, and plays the songs brilliantly, as does the band. The guy they had for vocals really did sound quite a bit like Frank Zappa, but also carried the parts sung by others just as well. Have to feel a bit sorry for the Female member though, who was doing vocals, keyboards, saxaphone, flute, clarinet and duck call all by herself.

They played quite a bit that I knew, and quite a bit that I didn't. Considering that the Frank Zappa discography is larger than most of Ultramans foes PUT TOGETHER this is hardly suprising. But it was cool, even though I do feel they maybe had one to many drum solos.

The most awesome bit was at the end, where Dweezil got some members of the audience up on stage. What made it was the fact that one of them was a 10 year old boy, and Dweezil gave him the guitar to play!! That just made that kids entire LIFE.

So yeah, despite essentially paying 3 times as much as normal to see a cover band, a good time was had by all.

Though it was kind of wierd being in a room with all those normal looking people.

[old blog import] A Tactical Miscalculation

I've just realised I may have made a bit of mistake.

See, the thing is I've put a bid on a UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie Doujinshi.

Now, UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie is one of my all time favorite animes, and I love it to bits. So obviously I'm keen to get related merchandise and stuff. A doujin is going to be somewhat of a rarity and thus an interesting addition to my collection.

Only, you know, it's a DOUJIN. That means it's going to take this great show that I love and make porn out of it.

Horrible, HORRIBLE porn. With the raping and the fluids and omnipresent sanity wrenching tentacles.

Will I be able to look at the show again in the same way? Will I be able to divorce the characters I like from the haunting images of inappropriate things jammed up their butts?

Will I get busted for imported child porn? I mean, even at the best of times they seem to be declaring manga illegal. Let alone anything to do with a show where the main character changes age on a regular basis.

I've absolutely no idea whats actually in the book, so I can't really say. It's just that I've been to Japan. I've seen inside Doujiin stores.

I get the feeling that whatever happens, I'm going to get more than I bargined for.