I Stumble 4 Porn

This is a post that does exactly what it says on the tin. In the spirit of living dangerously I have decided to try turning on the porn on Stumble Upon and see what comes up.

I'm not really sure why. Boredom I suppose. Porn is good for boredom, right?

Wrong, wrong, wrong. I suppose I was hoping for some form of nightmarish internet sex to come up and then we could point at it and laugh an go eeewww.

But no. If there's one thing that this exercize has confirmed to me it's just how incredibly boring porn is. That's assuming you can even define it as porn. according to the dictionary pornography is defined as:

Sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal.

obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, esp. those having little or no artistic merit.

Is a picture of a lady who just happens to be naked REALLY porn then? I mean are we really that disconnected that the sight of a womans ankles will drive us mad with desire? Maybe I'm just old and jaded, but it seems to me there should be something more involved than the mere existence of boobs.

Now, to be fair, you do occasionally get something with an actual penis in. But why does it always seem so ridiculous? Here is a naked lady. Having SEX! In her BUMHOLE!!! But why is she wearing that ridiculous hat?!?! I mean, she's indoors for a start. And it's an old mans flat cap, like something out of Steptoe and Son or something. Incongrous much?

Well, fine. Average porn is obviously not going to provide much trauma for discussion. Let's try FETISH porn. Thats gotta be freaky, right?

Meanwhile, behind the facade of this innocent looking dictionary....

any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation

Something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification

An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation

Well, I hate to argue with the dictionary, but thats not quite right. Fetish Sexuality actually involves either

1. Bondage
2. Latex
3. Rock Chicks

And thats it. I mean, here was I expecting some sort of insight into the multifarious nature of human sexuality and all I get is girls with tatoos dressed in rubber and tied up a bit. Now, to be fair some of the outfits that popped up were pretty cool. But it should be noted that I wasn't stumbling for fashion here. And again we run the same gamut of nothing happening really to vaguely sexual, with a fair amount of VAGINA! in between.


I'm not really sure where I'm going with all this (as with most things I write). Perhaps just that I went looking at porn for ages, and rather than touching myself I went and did the washing up instead. Not that I'd tell you if it'd gone differently.


OR WOULD I?
Ahh, there's the trauma. I knew we'd get there in the end.