When last we left our tale I really can't remember. Something about wanking.
Oh yeah, the maid told Binto there'd been a murder. I personally like to picture her saying this in a ridiculous scottish accent. This is more to do with my own association between the phrase "there's been a murder" and Taggart than anything else, but frankly I feel it adds something to the proceedings. All cases of sudden death should be reported in this fashion.
Anyway, being a reasonable balanced individual Binto automatically assumes that the victims (two for the price of one) must obviously be a couple of minor characters she met a few chapters back when she was playing nurse. So she goes to look for them. As you do. In DISGUISE. Obviously. Whilst the book only specifies that she is dressed in whatever passes for rustic peasant garb in these parts I like to add a large fake moustache to the ensemble. I mean it IS a disguise after all. Needless to say Sancho becomes vexxed and follows after using the power of MYSTERY.
I guess the point of all this is to set the scene for the whole "people are starting to wig out over all the murder and such like" thing. The city is reaching breaking point, and Batman won't be born for another couple of hundred years or something. Oh noes. So anyway, Binto goes to the pub. Because that's where you go looking for hookers. And bumps into a some other bit part who assures her that the other two are in fact alive and well. And introduces her friend. No it's not Pat O'Cake. It's Mary Kelly.
Yeah, that set even my brain off. For those not particularly versed in Ripperology or Wikipedia, lets just say this girls sell by date is rapidly approaching. And pay attention here, plot fans. for it is remarked that little miss impending butchery and Binto share an UNCANNY RESEMBLENCE. I'm sure this will not be relevent at any point later however.
Moving on, Binto nearly gets molested when some latvian sailor becomes overly enflamed by the mere sight of a lock of hair poking out of her peasant hat. I guess he was a muslim or something. Needless to say Sancho makes his mysterious appearance and saves the day using the power of raw mystery.
So, the Sancho decides to accompany Binto on her search for soon to be deceased prostitutes, because hey, what else are you gonna do on a sunday? So they head off to where there's a mob happening and actually find her straight away. Though to be specefic she finds them. I did say Binto should have included a moustache in her disguise kit. So then having illustrated that her friends are in fact alive and well (at least the one that according to wikipedia is not currently auditioning for a part in "Dude Wheres My Entrails" in the morgue) Binto is packed off home, for Sancho has "An Appoinment".
And yeah, The Queen shows up and adds precisely nothing to the plot. Seriously she's just sort of there and all like "I'm totaly Queen Victoria you guys!!" and the she fucks off again. Whilst it may be nice to reiterate the plot for the new viewers, THIS IS A BOOK. We know all this shit, so either move the plot forward or shut up. And don't even think this is about building character, because it's only Sancho gets to meet her, and Sancho has no character. His sole defining characteristics are he is both handsome and mysterious. Thats your lot.
Oh, and somewhere in all that Sancho Jr paid a visit to Sanchos secret base. I mention this now for it is about to become IMPORTANT.
Once more Binto is gossiping with that one maid who were supposed to like because she's nice or whatever, this time about Bitchy and how weird and Bitchy she is. The upshot of all this is Binto venturing into Bitchys room, only to find it filled with hundreds of snakes. No, I'm not joking. Bitchy sleeps on a bed of live snakes, like she's the goddamn Ark Of The Covenant or something. Oh, and of course naked. Because she's naughty like that. It's getting quite sad that Bitchy is shaping up to be the most interesting character, but never mind eh? If we concentrated on her adventures we wouldn't have time for Sancho and Binto to feel uncomfortable around each other would we? Anyway, after this tawdry little buisness Binto heads of downstairs only to find that in an act of remarkable kindness not at all designed to get into her pants, Sancho's given that slag from earlier a job as a maid. Kindess of his heart? Or just so he doesn't have to do it himself tonight?
Speaking of his myseriousness, he's currently... opening the mail. Well the secretary did. Apart from the one with top secret masonic space vampire stamp on it anyway. Thus marking it as super secret special stationary for space vampires. And SHOCK, HORROR, ETC!!! It's actually from Jack The Ripper. So Sancho's all like "Noes, he hath trancsended!!" and not wondering at all where he got the goddamn stamp from. I mean, once you kill that final whore on a street corner does a presentation stationary set shoot out of her ruptured bowels? And although Sancho himself is not yet aware of that earlier visit we can be fairly confident that it's actaully Sancho Jr. Particularly with the way he keeps refferring to Binto on his his every apperance and also in the letter. sadly it'll be awhile before Sancho catches up with the plot, so what can he do in the meantime.
Desperate times call for desperate measures, and desperate men get a haircut. And no, I don't know why. You tell me. So Binto blunders in for whatever reason, and he's all like "cut my hair!!" and she's all like "....kay", So she's right about to give him the mother of all bowl cuts when she gets a dramatic flashback and blacks the fuck out. End of chapter.
I suppose it's to much to hope that she falls on the scissors and dies in an ignominious fashion? Don't even need to feel sorry for Sancho. I mean, he's right there, and a human body takes a while to cool, right?
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