Sunday 22 September 2013

Doctor Death

If you're anything like me then you spend far too much time sitting around thinking about Doctor Who. If you're not anything like me then I guess you're too busy having some sort of real life with all your going out and personal relationships and such like. No need to be so smug about it, you're not impressing anyone with that sort of behavior

Anyway, at this particular time if there's one subject on the mind of Doctor Who fans, it's that of death & regeneration. Matt Smith will be dying for our entertainment at christmas, to be replaced by Peter Capaldi. And before we even get that far we have the mystery of the extra Doctor in the anniversary special. Currently the hints and rumours indicate that he's some sort of previous version. Which if true makes the whole Season 6b theory and UNIT dating problems look pretty tame by comparison.


Still that is all to come. As it is I've been thinking about the various deaths of the Doctor over the years, and thought it might be fun to go through them and see what we can learn about both the Doctor, and who his deadliest enemies really are.

And I'll tell you right now, it's not who you think. Not by a LONG WAY.

It's A Metaphor

So let's start at the beginning shall we?

The 1st Doctor



Final Story: The Tenth Planet
Foe: The Cybermen
Actual Cause Of Death: Old Age

Of course the first regeneration is notable for the introduction of the concept to the series and setting up the tropes and mechanics of the process, which have remained surprisingly consistent to this day. Whilst future regenerations have played with the realization of the process and it's consequences, it's here that the basics are set up. It's also about the only time the Doctor actually dies from anything approaching natural causes.

The 2nd Doctor



Final Story: The War Games
Foe: The War Lords
Actual Cause Of Death: The Time Lords

In his second death we can start to clearly see some of the ongoing tropes playing out. Whatever the on screen reasons given, the true cause for any regeneration is, obviously, changes behind the scenes. For the first Doctor it was necessitated by William Hartnells failing health. For the second by Patrick Troughtons desire to move on.It's also notable that the regeneration itself is almost always somewhat disconnected from the story leading up to it. It's only ever AFTER the threat is resolved, the villains defeated and everything else is wrapped up that the Doctor can actually find the time to die. Not to mention that we're starting to see the beginnings of a trend which shows little correlation between the headlining villains of the piece and whatever it is that finally does the Doctor in.

The 3rd Doctor



Final Story: Planet Of Spiders
Foe: Metebelis Spiders
Actual Cause Of Death: Radiation Sickness

As mentioned above, there's always a certain disconnect between the story, the villain, and the actual death itself in any regeneration story. The reasons for all this are perhaps best illustrated in Planet of Spiders. After all, it's not just the Doctor that's the hero of the piece, but the ACTOR playing him. It's their final performance in the role, and the story should give them a chance to do what they do best. To save the day in their own unique way. Whilst I can't deny that the prospect is highly interesting from a narrative standpoint, for the outgoing Doctor to only make it halfway through the story before the new guy takes over would seem a little rude.

The 4th Doctor


Final Story: Logopolis
Foe: The Master
Actual Cause Of Death: Falling from a great height

After old age, being executed, and radiation sickness what's next? DOOM. That's what. Whilst Planet Of Spiders and it's predecessors played out much like a traditional episode, there is a tangible pall cast over this whole story by the knowledge of the Doctors impending demise. What's interesting is that they take advantage of it by having the Doctor himself be in on it. After his atypically long run there was a certain sense of weariness creeping into Tom Bakers Doctor. And obviously the final story is never an easy thing to do. But that's all harnessed by the funereal atmosphere of the piece. Indeed this is perhaps one of the most connected regenerations of all, partly through forming a trilogy with The Keeper Of Traken and Castrovalva, partly through it's overt acknowledgement of the impending doom, but mostly because this is the only time in the shows history that the villain actually successfully engineers the Doctors death.

The 5th Doctor



Final Story: The Caves Of Androzani
Foe: Pretty much one everyone.
Actual Cause Of Death: Spectrox Toxeimia

The 5th Doctors regeneration takes the sense of impending doom from the 4ths, but sends it in a new direction with a desperate and claustrophobic race against time. Rather than going for doom from the get go, it builds more slowly with the creeping realization that Peri & the Doctor have actually been dying since the first 10 minutes of episode 1. It's also the first time the stakes for which the Doctor is putting his life on the line have been on such a strictly personal level. No trying to save the universe from abstract mathematical concepts here.

The 6th Doctor



Final Story: Time And The Rani
Foe: The Rani
Actual Cause Of Death: falling from a tiny height

The 4th Doctor fell several hundred feet from a radio telescope. The sixth Doctor? he didn't fall. He was PUSHED. This is one regeneration where what's on screen is fairly irrelevant in light of the behind the scenes maneuvering. Which is probably just as well considering how awful it is. The death certificate might list cause of death as falling off an exercise bike and bumping his head, but we all know that Micheal Grade did it.

The 7th Doctor


Final Story: The TV Movie
Foe: The Master
Actual Cause Of Death: Malpractice

The 7th Doctor got a slightly better exit than the 6th, but only just. As I said before whilst the idea of performing a regeneration partway into a story sounds interesting it doesn't really work in practice as part of the function of a regeneration is to give a last hurrah for the exiting actor. That's not really what either Colin baker or Sylvester McCoy got. Although one at least got a cameo performance. Oddly though the 7th Doctors death actually almost works for his character. Whilst this is not the place to get into the various structural problems with the TV movie, when you think about the character of the 7th Doctor there are only really 2 ways for him to go out: either as part of some complicated scheme to defeat some ancient evil in which his death is not only expected and accounted for but possibly even an integral part. or he just get's hit by bus or something else random and out of nowhere. As it was they went with the twin buses of street violence and medical incompetence. Possibly the only time a companion has killed a Doctor.

The 8th Doctor


Final Story: Unknown
Foe:  Unknown
Actual Cause Of Death: Unknown

The only regeneration story better than the Caves Of Androzani is that of the 8th Doctor. And that's only because it doesn't exist outside of the fevered wet dream fan theories of those of us who enjoy that sort of thing. Whether or not we actually get one is a mystery. On the one hand it seems massively unlikely for any number of reasons, mainly ones of licencing and a general well advised trend of avoiding addressing the Time War in any direct way. On the other hand if you've actually been listening to the more recent 8th Doctor stuff from Big Finish you can see that the Time War is exactly where he's going. So who knows? As long as he doesn't fall off his bike on the way there.

The 9th Doctor


Final Story: The Parting Of The Ways
Foe: The Daleks
Actual Cause Of Death: Deus Ex Mechanica

Ironically, if there's one other regeneration that's comparable to that of the 9th Doctor, it's that of the sixth. They were, after all, both issues of behind the scenes complications and make little actual sense. But never mind, the show must go on. In the case of the sixth Doctor the powers that be fired the actor, in that of 9th he quit. In both cases it's a shame as we missed out on more of really good Doctor. But at least in this case it makes more sense as it does nicely cap off the 9th Doctors character arc.

The 10th Doctor



Final Story: The End Of Time
Foe: The Master
Actual Cause Of Death: Radiation Sickness

I mentioned before about how the actual regeneration is often rather disconnected from the story in which it features, but nowhere is this more so than in the case of the 10th Doctor. It's not just that it isn't until everyone else has gone on their merry way that he gets the fatal dose, it's that even after that it apparently takes about 3 weeks for him to finally start feeling the effects. Still, any time we start feeling somewhat churlish over that whole extended farewell sequence let us remember that it could always be worse. After all, the 3rd Doctor was trapped in the TARDIS wandering the vortex for an indeterminate period of time when he was dying of radiation sickness, so they could have stuck in an episode or two consisting only of Jon Pertwee racing around the studio flats on a mobility scooter or something to pass the time.

So, what have we learned? Of all the various foes the Doctor has fought only the Master has ever actually managed to kill him, even it was somewhat indirectly. The Daleks don't even get a look in, only actually featuring in a somewhat surprising total of ONE regeneration story. And even then it took until the new series to manage even that. When we look through the various deaths and add up the actual causes we are faced with one rather bleak and depressing conclusion. That despite being the super intelligent savior of innumerable worlds and species the number one deadliest threat to the Time Lords life is oddly prosaic:

CANCER.

Both the 3rd and 10th Doctors died as a direct result of exposure to radiation. We could probably include the 9th in that as well, since he went from the direct absorption of deadly energies. After that what do we have? Equally tied ranking for old age, disease, a stupid accident, random violence, medical mishaps and miscarriages of justice.

There has been made some small deal of the Doctor having a yearning for an ordinary life, even whilst he is uniquely unsuited to such a thing. Yet if you look at how he dies? The Doctor, it seems, is more ordinary than any of us ever thought. I think the 11th Doctor should worry less about the Silence and Cybermen and instead check his cholesterol levels and exercise habits, as it's looking like heart disease may be the biggest threat.

And remember to drink plenty of carrot juice. Though I'd avoid any exercise bikes in the future, just to be on the safe side.


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