OMGWTFSRSLYORLYETC?

I just got some spammy email from ebay, having bought a couple of cds last week, vainly attempting to exhort me to buy more. Aside from the fact that the "featured" oh so cheap you really must buy it now item was ONE I'D JUST BOUGHT, the missive included the following gem which I felt compelled to share with you:

Dear ebay, not only are you doing it wrong, I don't think you could get it any wronger by actually trying. Indeed, if you put the slightest effort into generating this pointless spammy crap, even if that effort was in completely the wrong direction, you'd probably come out with something more relevant than this bullshit. There are Peruvian folk bands who are more metal than this. You hurt my brain and make the baby jesus cry. I don't need this shit first thing in the morning.