Anyway, this was also my first time experiencing the latest fad of 3D. It's that I've been avoiding watching a 3D film up to now, so much as there has so far not been any films that are in 3D that I've had the slightest desire to actually go and watch. Frankly 3D has always struck me as being a bit of an unnecessary gimmick.
Tron Legacy has done nothing to change my mind on this issue.
Frankly the only thing it actually added to the experience was severe ocular discomfort. Now, I'll say that the technique is certainly interesting from a technical perspective. So are particle cannons, doesn't mean I want to be staring down the end of one. The main problem I found was simply that the 3D made everything look really flat, which I admit may seem counter intuitive. Basically what it looked like a lot of the time was a series of flat layers superimposed one over the other, like a cardboard diorama. Rather than adding any sense of depth or perspective this just made it look like a bunch of flatness on flatness on flatness. Only the lst layer is slightly out of focus to make it look further away.
Also, since the glasses just hurt my eyes it made it very difficult to actually focus properly on what actually happening, particularly in the more fast paced action sequences. Now, the film does have some nice design work, but it's kinda wasted when you can't actually look at it properly because the glasses are trying to send you boss eyed. There are, I do admit brief moments where the 3D appears to work, and you'll have a sense of depth or things coming towards you. But these moments are far too rare and infrequent to justify the vast majority of time which is spent doing my goddamn eyes in and looking frankly naff. At the end of the day I saw NOTHING achieved through the use of 3D that a half decent director couldn't do by appropriately framing his shots and taking a bit of time over composition.
Or, you know, DIRECTING.
So, the 3D was a complete bust, but what of the film itself?
It... wasn't a childhood raping atrocity like most crap they pump out these days. But neither was it really actually very good. And when simply being not utter crap is the best you can say you know that something is wrong. It's just sort of there, you know?
Visually (when you're eyeballs aren't trying to escape out of the sides of your head) it looks very nice of course. But it takes more than just looks to make a good movie. What this lacked was a real sense of heart I think. It's slightly hollow. It has lots of nice nods back to the original, which is cool, but the story really doesn't GO anywhere. The program characters are too much like people and the main person character is to much like cardboard. Nothings really properly defined. Now, in order to talk about the films various short comings I will have to give out spoilers. Though how you can really spoil a plot that doesn't really happen I'm not sure.
So, Bit. Do the spoilers begin here?
YES!
Right, so after a cursory bit of real world introduction (thankfully presented in flatland o vision) Chippy McCardboard or whatever his name is gets sent onto the grid. He is promptly captured and stuck in the games. Disc combat and lightcycles, woo. We are also here introduced to our evil overlord, xbox Jeff Bridges. To be fair depending on the lighting the cgi job they've used to make him appear young can look pretty cool. But it seems to get less convincing as the film progresses until it finally looks like a screenshot from mass effect or something. So anyway, xbox here is a program copy of Flynn from the original movie who's gone a bit mad and taken over. This is not actually a bad idea. After all, these are PROGRAMS we're talking about. So if he's working from a faulty assumption as to what it is he's programmed to do that could cause problems. Oh, and there's also an uberminion guy who fights with 2 discs. This is quite cool, but would be a lot better if he didn't otherwise look exactly like every other disposable minion in the film.
Which is quite a lot of minions.
Anyway, our cardboard hero is rescued from the arena by some bint in a lightcar, because merchandising. I think the car must be operated by some sort of pump mechanism, as that's the only way to explain what the hell she's doing with the steering wheel. Seriously, I've seen five year olds pull off better driving acting. She then takes him off the grid out into some poorly defined wasteland and it's at this precise moment that the film stops making ANY sense. I mean, how does a computer have wastelands? The world in which Tron takes place is either the internet (though the lack of porn would dictate otherwise) or the ENCOM server array. This is the space in which the programs move. It's all fairly metaphorical I know, but what the fuck is this wasteland supposed to be exactly? Couldn't they have just moved the files to secure server or something?
I dunno.
Anyway, in the "wasteland" we arrive at Flynns super special secret hideaway. Captain Cardboard briefly tries having daddy issues for about 5 seconds before realising it's completely out of his acting range (which basically encompasses eye candy and little else). Flynn reveals that he's been hiding out here doing absolutely NOTHING to fight the encroaching totalitarian regime (a matter in which he has some experience) because....
BUH?
I don't know. HE doesn't know. No one does. He just couldn't be bothered I guess? That or he was to busy spying on bint through the big creepy interconnecting spy holes in all the rooms. No wonder he's dressed all in white.
Anyway, theres' some guff about how xbox Jeff Bridges needs real Jeff Bridges disc. Because I guess if we aren't gonna have a real plot we might as well have a Macguffin instead. Oh, it's also here that it's revealed that Evil "2 Discs" Minion is actually Tron. We wondering where he'd got to. They even have him grabbing another guys disc in the flashback and fighting with 2, just to make sure you get it.
Oh, I also nearly forgot a major plot point. Mainly because after this moment so do the writers. So apparently, before xbox went crazy these dudes showed up. SPECIAL dudes. A form of machine intelligence arising spontaneously from the grid. Which might be cool of they weren't EXACTLY like everyone else only with a tattoo. But they had special green house to live in. And the xbox blew them the fuck up, because he's a dick. And now they're all dead. So you know, that was really worth putting in, since absolutely nothing ever come of the idea.
So anyway, son of cardboard decides to go fight the power. When even this guy has a better plan than you it's really a sign to just give up already. So, he's trying to get the portal to get off the grid and unplug xbox from the outside, which seems reasonable. However despite coming in right in the middle of the grid the portal is now off in the distant beyond. Because I guess portals are migratory. Anyway, where does he go to look for help getting to the ancestral mating grounds of the portalbirds?
A NIGHTCLUB.
Captain, if you be so kind.
Why do PROGRAMS need a nightclub?
Seriously. The whole sequence is simply a drawn out and pathetically transparent opportunity to have Daft Punk do a cameo. Consider they wear helmets covering their faces this seems redundant at best. Anyway, blah blah, betrayal, ambush, whatever. Flynn turns up and demonstrates his awesome powers, which is actually pretty cool and kind of what you'd expect a user to be really capable of here. I mean surely there must be SOMETHING to differentiate them from the programs?
No? Not even the beard?
Okay, nevermind. So anyway, the Macguffin disc is stolen, oh noes. But it's okay because right outside the nightclub is a space tram headed straight for the portal. Why we couldn't have just taken this to start with is not an issue that is ever addressed. Sadly it's the slow train, stopping at Slough, Putney, and the TOP SECRET EVIL MILITARY BASE.
Cracking bit of luck that.
So anyway, xbox is apparently making an evil army to invade the real world with. And now he's got the disc he can send through his literally hundreds of buys with pointy glowsticks.
Into a small room.
ONE AT A TIME.
Let's be honest. It's not VERY threatening is it?
Anyway I guess there's some fights or something and then there's a chase with lightplanse because merchandising. the Tron decides to turn good because... they... shot at him? Nicely? I really have no idea, it makes absolutely no sense, but it also makes absolutely no difference as all that happens is he falls in the water and is never seen again. I mean, considering the amount of money they spent on xbox Jeff Bridges we never even get to see Trons face. But Bruce Boxleitner is IN THE FILM. He's right there, in the real world bits. He even gets a line when tron randomly decides to be good/useless (take you pick). Did they just hate him or something? What do you suppose he did to piss them off?
Anyway, one chase seen and no sense later we arrive at the portal, but xbox is already there. Oh noes. So Jeff Bridges activates his cosmic hoover powers and explodes whilst the cardboard kid and his generic lady friend exit the grid into the real world.
AND THERE IS NO CLIMAX. That's it. It just sort of happens and then everything stops.
Woo. Oh, and apparently the bint is one of those super special dead people. Though for all the difference it makes she might as well actually be a secret turnip. But now she's real. Thrust from a world of pure data into a fleshy sac of disgusting secretions. I confidently predict a nervous breakdown and possible suicide once her period kicks in. I mean, seriously, how can you prepare a program for that shit? When you think about it biology is basically nauseating. Does anyone think a program will be able to deal with all those FLUIDS?
NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!
So yeah. Tron himself is not addressed in anything but the most cursory and indeed arbitrary way. Plot points are raised and then ignored, and far to little actually makes sense. Whilst the visual look is quite cool it frankly feels a lot less like another world inside of the machine and more like a trip to Cyberdog. The soundtrack is pretty cool though, with a fairly old school feel. But like I say, whilst it's not great it is at least some shade of respectful to the source material. So rather than wanting to pretend the franchise never existed at all it really just makes you want to go dig out the original and watch that instead.
There are worse ways to spend an evening. But then there are also plenty that don't involve corneal hemorrhaging. Your mileage may vary.
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