How To Ruin Childhoods & Influence People

So, I guess it turns out that Santa isn't real.

Obviously this doesn't come as much of shock a bitter, cynical old man such as myself. But even I will freely admit that the audience for Doctor Who is a little broader than continuity obsessed middle aged hermits. So one of the many concerns that I immediately started having after Santa randomly stepped through the TARDIS doors at the end of the last series was how exactly they'd get away with having him in it and maintaining some semblance of coherent science fiction without telling the children of the world that there was no such thing as Father Christmas ON CHRISTMAS DAY.

As it turns out, they decided to go one better.

So.... yeah. INTERESTING sort of episode....

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Once again I find myself extraordinarily late in posting a review. This is, you may have noticed, becoming a bit of a trend lately. The reasons for this are fairly straightforward. I've always had something of a struggle with depression, and lately it's one that I'm losing. I was all set to get this review done in a timely fashion. I was actually hoping to do it last Sunday. And then my head went a bit wrong and here we are a week later and I've only just managed to pull myself together enough to actually watch the episode again.

I mention this not in a desperate plea for sympathy and attention so much as because it's actually thematically relevant to the subject at hand. Because at long last we've gotten a REALLY good Cyberman episode, finally dealing with some of themes that I've long felt they should be tackling. I'm not sure if I actually managed to discuss this during last episodes review, what with all the excitement of the Master coming back, so let's get down to it now.

I've said it before, and I can't help but think I'll say it again, but I really do love it when stuff I've been thinking about as good for a Doctor Who episode for ages suddenly turns up in some form in the actual show.

Death / Becomes Her

Overall I think I've probably taken a fairly critical tone when evaluating this current series of Doctor Who. Not that I haven't been enjoying it overall, but there have also been quite a few issues that have niggled me and thus I've felt compelled to address.

After all, blogging is basically the single player version of conversation.

But after a rough start and the odd dip, the series has seemed to be getting better over time. And now all of a sudden we've reached the climax. What's interesting here is that whilst, like much of the preceding episodes, the plot is very much founded on things that have gone before, they've finally worked out how to take all that nostalgia and remix it into something that not only feels fresh and exciting, but that actually seems to be making some sort of logical sense.

Which, I have to admit, is not something I was actually anticipating.

Comparative Anatomy Part 2: Spoodge Is Not A Trace Fossil

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Comparative Anatomy Part 1: Judge By It's Cover.

So, over the past year or so I've been studying paleontology, albeit in a strictly unofficial, amateur capacity. And it's probably fair to say that I've developed quite a love for the subject of Dinosaurs.

Unfortunately, so have... other elements of the internet. And we all know how literal they can be.

It comes to something when you're looking for paleontology documentaries on amazon, and the recommendations come straight up with Anti-chaffing cream, a washing line and bed bug spray. I don't know what the hell these people are doing, but they're obviously not doing it particularly hygienically.

Still, it's been quite a while since I embarked on one of these horror / comedy type recaps, so so fuck it, why not? Can you guess what time it is?

Malpractice Makes Perfect

In The Forest of the Night is an interesting episode. There's actually a lot of things to be discussed about it. And hopefully I'll be able to get around to some of them in this review. But after watching it there's really only one thing on my mind, and have to get it out of the way before we can move on to the normal level of petty nitpicking:

Pancakes

How late is this review? VERY LATE. I've been busy, sue me. I was gonna do it at the weekend, but I had a nervous breakdown instead. So that was fun.

Anyway, I'm kinda torn about Flatline. On the one hand it's certainly one of the most original concepts we've had in Doctor Who for a long time now, especially in this season of deja vu.

And on the other hand it makes me think of Fear Her.

Watching It Dry

It's about time for one of my woefully infrequent updates on mini painting. It's been quite a while since I've posted anything on the subject, but I haven't been entirely neglectful of the hobby. Just somewhat preoccupied with various other things. But I've still been working on the thing on and off, and it turns out I actually have quite a lot of new stuff to put up. So let's get on with it shall we?

Maternal Instinct

You may recall that last week I made certain predictions as to the familiarity of Mummy On The Orient Express based on the continuing sense of Deja Vu that the series of Doctor Who has been consistently delivering. And whilst it wasn't exactly going out of it's way to prove me wrong, there was certainly one thing that was quite unexpected about it. Not only was it actually really good, it was also one of the best episodes so far.

Add 2 And Beat Well (With A Shovel)

Another week, another episode of Doctor Who. Another episode, another chance to tediously nitpick every slightest detail. And there's actually quite a few interesting points to be discussed about Kill The Moon.

Although I'm sure the main question everyone's asking is simply "Clara Oswald: What the FUCK is her problem?!?!?".

But we'll get back to that. There are a few other points to cover first.

Dairy Goodness

It's proving to be an interesting run this series of Doctor Who. Wt first the series seemed intent on redoing old episodes, before seemingly stopping to actually try and make some episodes that were actually good instead of just retro. And now, as we approach the mid point of series it seems they've decided to mix things up and do both. I enjoyed The Caretaker to be sure. And I'd certainly say it was a fairly good episode. But I keep having this terrible feeling of Deja Vu...

A Dead Crab

Wow, this review is coming in late, huh? I'd apologize if I thought anybody actually cared. Or was even reading this. Still, one must press on.

When reviewing an episode of of Doctor Who one of the most important things is in deciding what angle to take in ones assessment. I find it helpful to have some sort of hook from which to start. And I admit I was a little stumped at first with how to tackle Time Heist. It's a good episode, sure. But more solid than standout remarkable. But when I finally managed to rewatch it I finally realized what it was about that episode that made it particularly enjoyable to me, and would give me my starting point when talking about it.

Did you know that 9 out of 10 housewives can't tell the difference between Time Heist and an adventure module for a Cyberpunk RPG?

Stop, Look And The Other Thing

Conventional wisdom is a funny old thing isn't it? It's been one of the assumed tenants of Doctor Who for many years now that every story has to have a monster in it. Even when there is no real point to the creature in story terms.

You rang?

Even in recent years there have been several occasions where a creature has been tacked onto the episode, presumably just in case it makes a good action figure.

Not they always actually get as far as making them.

So in Listen we have something rather unique and interesting. Because it's not often you get a whole story that turns around the idea that, just possibly, there ISN'T actually a monster. Apart from that one bit in The Power Of Kroll obviously.

Karma Karma Karma

It's funny really. In my reviews of the last two episodes of this series of Doctor Who I've made jokes about how it seems like they were basically remaking an episode of the classic series. Specifically some of the sort of episodes that don't often make it into peoples top 10 lists.

Hardly surprising when at least 5 of the available positions are taken by Timelash.

I do like to jest about crazy fan type conspiracy theories because it amuses me to do so. What I don't like so much is when I make up some random stuff for fun and then it starts to actually come TRUE.

This week they kinda sorta remade The Kings Deamons.

Prawn Visibility

Funny story: Last weekend I was helping out a friend with a few chores, and as we were going about our business the subject of conversation invariably came around to Doctor Who. He mentioned that the title of the upcoming episode Into The Dalek was rather odd, and I jokingly suggested that maybe they were going to go for some sort of remake of The Invisible Enemy.

I wasn't actually being serious.

CONTACT HAS BEEN MADE. For some reason.

And yet, nevertheless and riff on The Invisible Enemy is just we got. It's funny when you think about it. The first episode combined features of The Twin Dilemma with a splash of Invasion Of The Dinosaurs. More stories that are not all that highly regarded. At this rate next will be a remake of Black Orchid and the season finale will just be a 45 minute dubstep remix of that song from the Gunfighters accompanied by Peter Capaldi's dancing eyebrows.

But I digress. Right now we're here to talk about the past, not the future. Even if it WAS set in the future. Shut up, I know what I'm talking about.

Deepy Weepy, Timey Wimey

So, in last weeks Dr Who we had a gigantic Kaiju sized Dinosaur. As a man with an interest in Dinosaurs this naturally got me thinking about various matters of Paleontological science in relation to Dr Who. Specifically it made me think "Whilst the scale is obviously a bit off, I wonder what implications the morphology of this particular specimen have for accurately dating the period of the Silurian Civilization?".

Sometimes I'm just THAT Rock & Roll.

Be EXCELLENT to each other.

Lucky Numbers

It's been a long time coming, but finally the new series of Doctor Who is with us. And is my custom that means I get to indulge my fanboy prerogative of nitpicking each episode on the internet. So now that I've had a proper chance to watch Deep Breath and gather my thoughts, you are no doubt wondering what my impression of it was. The answer however may surprise you a little:

DEATH BY EMBOLISM!

Yes fans, my point of reference for this particular episode is, of all things, The Twin Dilemma.

A Public Service Announcement

Skirmish Game Campaign Setting Introduction: Intergalactic Terror World.

In her initial paper outlining the analysis of the mysterious alien mineral that would eventually come be to be known as Ouroborite, Professor Heisen noted that when properly refined and controlled the substance could be employed to produce a near limitless source of energy.

She also noted that in it's naturally occurring unrefined state it had a tendency to rip the head of physics, shit down the neck of sanity and thence merrily bugger the corpse of the space/time continuum. All the while laughing hysterically at the very concept of objective reality.

Potent stuff.

Reports Of My Battle May Be Greatly Exaggerated: Dino-Might

It's time. The minis are painted, the scenery stocked up and the dice lying in a big pile of 1s and critical failures like they usually do. We're going to have a go at actually PLAYING Dino-Might.

You didn't think I was doing all this for FUN did you?

Nugget Humanum

It is with a sense of great relief that I can finally announce that the Dino-Might painting project is, at least for the time being, done. This last couple of parts have seem to have taken the longest to complete, but that might simply be because they're the overall the least exciting. So whilst I can't guarantee anything particular edifying for this particular post it does mean I am now at last free to pursue slightly more interesting projects.

The Majunga(tholus) Games

It's a sad fact that whilst the world is flooded with so many generic zombie games that I've started avoiding anything with the word "Dead" In the title on principle, there is a shocking dearth of dinosaur based titles. It's not that there aren't any at all though. It's just they're all online multiplayer FPS.

Seriously, it takes the piss. try searching for dinosaurs on Steam and you get Dino D-Day, Primal Carnage, and Orion: Dino Horde. Only one of which actually remembered to put a single player mode in. Because forgetting to put an actual game in your game always works out so well.

I'll just leave this here for no particular reason.

Now, things are kinda starting to improve. We have The Stomping Land coming up, and there's something called Beasts Of Prey that's appeared recently as well. Although admittedly the only reason that doesn't look like a complete rip off of The Stomping Land only with a modern setting is that they actually forgot to put any dinosaurs in the trailer. But even these are online multiplayer titles with no indication yet as to whether there'll be a proper single player mode.

Naturally of course this lack of dinosaur based gaming options is quite frustrating to me, fond as I am of both the science of paleontology and the art of over-analyzing the gaming medium. Because there's a LOT that you could do in terms dino based games that would extremely cool. So I decided to take this opportunity to get some of the ideas that have been floating around my head out and onto paper. So, let's begin.

ROLL FOR INITIATIVE!

The Big, The Green, And The Technicality.

Whilst it would be a trifle inaccurate to say that the painting project continues apace, it does at least continue. So having actually finished up the last of my 10mm Dinosaurs I figured I should make the effort to put them up for the sake of posterity.

Well, posterity and ridicule. But it's the principle of the thing.

Another Mr Lizard

Been a while since we had a minis painting post, hasn't it? Believe it or not I actually had some stuff well in progress shortly before everything.... went wrong in the brain department. And I've managed to get a bit done here and there. Painting is a hobby I enjoy after all. Although I'm not exactly brilliant at it, it does give me a good, constructive way to try and relax. So whilst I've somehow spent most of the day on basing and prep work for what I guess is phases 3 & 4 or of my current Dino-Might workload, I did at least manage to finish up the last touches on these new piece.

Delay All Monsters

Obviously with one thing and another I haven't been doing much writing here. This is something I'm hoping to fix going forward. And whilst I have one or two plans for things to write about in the future, there is one piece of outstanding business from the recent past that needs to be dealt with first: The new Godzilla movie.

Yes, I've seen it. And whilst I wouldn't say I hated it, or even that it was BAD exactly. But it has problems, and that's the sort of thing I find interesting to talk about. So we're going to do that for a little while. Needless to say, there will be spoilers.

The Land Of The Lost World Part 3: At Least It's Better Than The Last One

Whilst this isn't really the time to be getting into a full scale discussion on the subject, a brief overview of the current trilogy of Jurassic Park films would be that the first one is distinguished be being rather good, the second is distinguished be being shockingly awful, and the third at least has a Spinosaurus in it. I guess it's somewhat serendipitous that this series of miniatures posts is following a similar format.

Although, just for the record even I wouldn't call any of paint jobs as bad as Jurassic Park 2.

The Land Of The Lost World Part 2: The Sceneryic Route

As I may have mentioned previously, I've been working on some Dinosaur miniatures lately, with an eye to maybe one day actually using them for some kind of game. I mean, there's got to be SOME novelty value in spending on all this time and money on miniatures and then actually using them for something other than dust magnets, right?

Anyway, the idea of at least attempting to assemble the necessary components for having a game appealed to me, so I resolved to have a go at sorting out some scenery. On that note I should probably point out that this may not be the most exciting minis post of all time.

The Land Of The Lost World Part 1: Let's Get This Party Startered

So, as I may have mentioned I've been gripped by a strong interest in the paleontological arts of late. Dinosaurs are, I'm sure we can all agree, pretty cool after all. But whilst my attempts to combine this fledging interest with my hobby of video games were stopped short by the fact that apparently all games featuring Dinosaurs have to be multiplayer FPS (because what else would they be apart from literally ANYTHING EXCEPT THAT), I did recall that there was another hobby I'd been neglecting which would combine quite perfectly: that of miniature painting.

Dinosaurs are, after all, the perfect subject for such pursuits, seeing as how the group consists entirely of awesome monstrosities of varying types and sizes. Although scale could well be a consideration as, let's face it, most of the popular Dinosaurs aren't exactly famed for being small.

Try doing THIS in 28mm. I DARE YOU.

However I did recall something from back when I was working on my Silurian conversion. A range of Dinosaur models made in 10mm scale from Magister Militium. So I figured I'd get some and see what happened.

Friday The 2013th

Another year over. And you know what that means don't you? Tedious "Best Of X" lists. Millions of them, slithering out of the internet and into your disinterested eyes like some kind of ghastly occular leech intent on draining out your ability to feign even the slightest interest in the most hideous fashion possible. Only when it finally heaves it's twisted bulk through the screen it finds that there's not actually anything left to feed on as all mental resources have been depleted in pretending that you don't hate your friends, family and the miserable excuses for presents they gave you, even though you would probably be happier setting them all on fire. Thus, defeated it slinks off to die in a pit of rotting feculence and the twitching corpses of it's decaying brethren.

Happy New Year?

That metaphor rather got away from me there. Still, never mind eh? It's time to trawl the archives and try and work out what things from my past year didn't actually suck. As always actual release dates are less important than when I actually first experienced the item in question. So with the rambling and provisos out of the way, let's get on with it shall we?