Bring the whole family!
I mean, I get that the major features of the place are graveyards and mildly disinterested undead wandering around, but Deathknell? Really? The whole setup seems pretty odd frankly. There are a whole THREE buildings in use. Outside of the stockade surrounding these 3 buildings there are plenty of disused structures, but no one seems in any hurry to occupy them, possibly due to the hordes of harmless skeletons that wander aimlessly around like pedestrians in search of something that isn't another bloody starbucks. Seeing as how there's lots of them, and seeing how they're harming no one, the first thing I'm asked to do is kill an arbitrarily small number of them.
His name was Albert. He was only looking for a picnic site.
This of course serves no readily apparent reason. The blading deathmurder I unload into these hapless deadites doesn't seem to significantly reduce their numbers. AT ALL. As soon as you've finished burning one of the hapless sods 3 more wander by, idly wondering if you're doing some sort of street theatre or something.
He was so cuddly. And now he's dead.
It's not ALL murder though. Whilst I'm wandering around the outskirts of town (I.E. actually the middle of the village) I'm also tasked with gathering dead bodies. Which seem to grow like mushrooms in these parts. Although perhaps gathering the bodies of the slain is not a strictly accurate description. If we're being completely honest here my job is to point out dead bodies to my idiot companion.
Who apparently has never seen one before and therefore doesn't know what one looks like. And can't remember even after he's carrying like six of them piled on his back.
After escorting the festering man-child back to what passes for civilisation in these parts (I.E. 20 feet up the road) I collect my reward and am given an important communique.
Hmm, a summons from the Mage Trainer Isabella. Clearly this be important for her to send a scroll all the way to the head priest guy. I better prepare myself for a long and arduous trek. Where in the world could she possibly be?
Oh fuck you. Fuck you right in the ear. You're telling me that the person STANDING NEXT TO ME had to write you a letter to for you tell me to go and see her? WHEN SHE'S STANDING RIGHT THERE?!!?! When she could have just asked herself? Gods, even if she's shy why not just ask you to ask me? WHY THE LETTER?!!?!?! If you waste enough paper do you think you can make a zombie tree or something?
Anyway, after repeatedly beating my head against the wall I have a quick chat with my wasteful and socially awkward new chum. She then tasks me with a quest to buy spells from her, proving both that maybe not everyone around here is quite as stupid as I'd previously thought and that I'm clearly in the wrong line of work.
After politely declining her offer to help out a certain Nigerian prince she apparently knows, I head off out of town to find out if punk is dead or not.
Turns out it is, but it's willing to pay me to mutilate animals. Thus confirming everything your mother ever told you about those nasty boys down the road. I'm not quite sure why exactly it is he's just hanging around on the road into town, but I'm going to guess he's handing out flyers for his mates band. Anyway, like most people I've met so far he asks me to kill an arbitrary amount of the local fauna. And then cut off bits of them and bring them back because.... apparently you make armour out of wolves feet now? It's either that or he's got a fetish. Either way I'm not sure I want to think about it to closely. So I pop off and set a few passing wolves on fire and then saw of their legs only to find....
THE WOLVES HAVE RABBITS FEET.
I think I'm done here.
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