Let's Play World Of Warcraft Chapter 3: Slowly Comes The Deathmoose

In our last installment if you'll recall we went out to kill a random number of animals. Guess what we're going to do today?

Close enough. Only this time it's spiders. Variety is the spice of life. So I guess it's only fitting that monotony is the spice of death. Anyway, apparently giant spiders have infested the local gold mine. So, rather than clearing it out, destroying eggs or doing anything remotely sensible I'm asked to nip over, kill a handful and then come back having achieved nothing useful. Which, since I'm getting paid I promptly do.

Well, that was fun*. What's next?

*may not contain actual fun

Well, try to stay with me here. Seems there's some rebel zombies who want to attack the "village". Now, rather than going straight off to fight them I must first go and find the festering idiot man-child who has dogged my every step since I woke up in the graveyard this morning. Of course, he won't actually HELP in anyway. That would be a bit to obvious. No. He'll just stand by a tree, a nice safe distance from the enemy camp whilst I go and do all the hard work.

THANKS.

So anyway, leaving him to cower in a puddle of whatever it is that passes for cowardice in the undead I trudge up the hill and into the pitched battle at the enemy camp. There's apparently an infinite number of psychotic assholes leaping around. They were all like:

And at first I was like:

But then after a bunch of them suddenly appeared right behind me I was all like:

Ah. Dead then. Again. Well, all things considered I suppose it's a blessed release really. This whole undead slayer of random quantities of things bit wasn't really working out so well, and that whole bit with the rabbit footed wolves was far to confusing. Maybe it's better to just slip away into peaceful oblivion....

OH GODDAMNIT.

So now I'm the ghost of a zombie. Wandering around a twisted nether dimension completely bereft of anything resembling intelligent life. So, business as usual then. Guess I'll go for a walk and see where I died. I mean, what else is there to do?

Just sayin'

Anyway, where was I?

Hahahahahah. Look at that dead bastard. Hey, what does this do?

OH GODDAMNIT.

Not only am I once again cursed to walk the land of the living from the neck down, not only that, but now I find that the way to cheat death is to simply wander around the astral plane until you get bored, at which point you just pop back into existence? WHY THE HELL AM I A FUCKING ZOMBIE IF IT'S THAT BLOODY SIMPLE?!?!?! Seriously, did nobody think to mention this before? It's no wonder these here zombie bastards are so upset. Judging by the way they keep popping up from nowhere and the fact that I've killed their glorious leader no less than 5 times in a row I'd say THEY'VE worked it out. Wouldn't you be pissed of to discover you'd been turned into a festering zombie when you were but a short walk from being properly alive again?

Screw this noise. I'm going away for a while.